I almost laugh, but I can hear the sincerity in her voice. And honestly, it’s probably more of a concession than I deserve. “Me too,” I tell her. And while a part of me wants to reach out and hug her, another part of me wants to keep my hands and arms attached to my body. Also, I’m afraid I’ll cry, and if I start, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
The Starlight’s command center beeps, and Beckett takes over the controls. “Landfall initiating,” she says. “Huh. Military outpost waved us through without asking for credentials. We’ll be landing in about four minutes, if the Starlight here is correct.”
The Starlight’s always correct, and we both know it. So I pick up the bag I packed earlier with a blanket and a few packets of dried fishgalen and sling it over my shoulder. Then I put the letter I wrote Ian on top of the captain’s chair he so loves and make my way to the bridge door.
“You’ll call the Empress once you’re away from here? Tell her where to pick me up?”
“I will.” Beckett does look at me then. “Although I don’t know why you’re trusting me with that task. What if I decide to leave you on some broken-down old moon outpost forever?”
“Because if that happens, the Empress will make a big fuss about not having her precious daughter home. And someone, sometime soon, will bring enough firepower to take down the Starlight—and you.”
Beckett considers my words as she sets the ship down on a patch of purple dirt. “You make a compelling argument.”
“Nice of you to notice.” I smile at her, and for once she smiles back—or at least she only snarls a little bit, which is definite progress. And she doesn’t comment on the fact that my lip is wobbling, which I also appreciate.
She punches a button, and the landing gear goes down. “You sure about this?” she asks.
No. “Absolutely.” I force my feet to start walking, when what they really want to do is stay exactly where they are. As does the rest of me.
“I’ll call your mom as soon as we get some distance from here.”
“Thank you, Beckett.” I hold out a hand to shake, and she takes it. Then—to both of our shock—she reaches over and gives me an awkward half back pat, half hug thing that is a lot more comforting than it should be.
I start walking down the ramp, stomach in knots and tears burning the backs of my eyes. I’m about halfway down when Beckett calls my name again, and I turn to find her standing at the top of the ramp.
“Thank you for not being as big an asshole as I thought you were,” she says.
“Right back at you,” I tell her. And then I make my way fully down the ramp.
I watch as Beckett raises the ramp again. Watch as she starts up the Starlight. Watch as she takes off and flies into the night. And then I watch some more, until the ship looks like little more than a comet streaking through the pitch-black sky.
Only then do I sit down in the middle of the purple dirt and sob. Because I’m pretty sure my entire heart is on that ship, and I just watched it fly away.
Chapter 67
Kali
When I finally finish crying, I wipe my face on the blanket I borrowed from the Starlight. It’s freezing here—not snowy like on Glacea but still very, very cold—so I wrap the blanket around myself as tightly as I can. Then stand up and look around for the first time.
Serai has risen over the horizon, and the atmosphere on this moon has her looking blue as she does—not a great sign for my long-term survival in open air, if the radiation scattering is so different through this atmosphere’s particles than it is on Askkandia, but the Starlight indicated I’d be safe here for at least a few hours after landfall, and I trust her. The world around me has become light enough for me to see a giant purple mountain range in the distance. I also notice five large, industrial-looking buildings to my left, as well as a silver-and-black military pod racing straight toward me.
After everything that happened in Rangar and Rodos, I’m more than a little nervous about what’ll go down when they get to me. But I remind myself this is a military outpost, presumably loyal to the Empress, and I am the princess. I just have to remember that and act like one—at least for now.
I take a second to tie back my hair, smoothing it as best I can. Then I straighten my shoulders, put on the placid princess face I’ve fallen out of the practice of wearing—though I do have to admit, it does help me feel more in control—and wait for whatever comes next.
Whatever comes next is three soldiers pouring out of the large pod that hovers right in front of me. All three of them are carrying laser rifles, and all three of them level those laser rifles at me.
“Hands up!” the first one yells. She’s a stern-looking woman with a grumpy face, and the insignia on her heavy rust-colored uniform tell me she’s the highest-ranking of the three. I’d guess she’s from Kridacus, judging by her sturdy build and her velvety peach skin—wherever she’s from, this is a long way from home for any Inner, so the fact she’s out here means she probably did something the Empire didn’t like.
Which kind of makes me like her automatically.
While a part of me wants nothing more than to throw my hands up—I really don’t want to have done all this just to die out here on some distant outpost—I know there’s no way my mother would ever do such a thing. So I focus all of my attention on the lieutenant and give her my most disapproving face—one I’ve channeled directly from the Empress herself.
“Put those guns down,” I order in a voice as cold as a Glacean storm. “I am Princess Kalinda, daughter of the Empress Violatta of the Senestris System, and I am in need of your assistance. Please take me to your base so that I may speak with my mother.”
All three of them look confused at my words, but their weapons don’t so much as waver. My heart is beating out of control now. “I will give you three seconds to lower those weapons before I have you arrested and tried for treason.”
I would never—they really are just doing their jobs. Besides, I don’t even know if that’s a thing anymore. But I really don’t want to get shot, so this is what I’ve got to work with.
The laser rifles waver and then finally lower. “Princess Kalinda?” The lieutenant steps forward. “What are you doing out here?”
“With help, I escaped from the Caelestis after the unfortunate incident a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been on a ship since then. It is time for me to go home.” My lip wants to wobble at the thought, but sheer will alone keeps it steady. “I assume you can help me with that?”
“Of course, Your Highness. My name is Belinda, and my men are Jakob and Vincen. We’ll take good care of you. Welcome to Espia.”
Once they accept who I am, things happen quite quickly. I get bundled into the front passenger seat of their pod, an extra blanket wrapped around my shoulders. A thermos filled with hot coffee is thrust into my hands by one of the male soldiers—Jakob, I think—and then we’re speeding off toward the buildings in the distance.
Within an hour, I’ve been given access to soldier’s quarters—with many apologies from Lieutenant Belinda for the unimpressive accommodations. I think they’re great, though—especially since they come with a hot shower and a comfortable bed.