“Would you like me to pour you some coffee, Your Highness?” Lara asks.
I nod because it’s easier than telling her I’ll do it myself. But then I nearly burst into tears when she mixes one and a half spoons of sugar into the mug—exactly how I like it.
At one point, I thought I’d never have sugar again. And I was truly okay with that.
As she settles down in the chair opposite me, hands folded primly in her lap, I think of the best way to start, to convince her she’s in danger and that she needs to leave with me. But as I study her, I notice she’s worrying her lip back and forth between her teeth. I’ve known Lara a long time, and that’s a surefire tell that she’s afraid whatever she has to say is going to upset me.
Which only makes me want to know what’s going on even more. “Spit it out, Lara,” I finally say.
Her eyes widen at my less-than-royal words, but she finally starts talking. “I wasn’t sure I should tell you,” she begins. “I mean, I didn’t think you would care one way or another. But then earlier you said that those people were your friends. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. It was something I overheard while your mother was talking to the dressmaker about your dress for today. She was also having a conversation with Mikhaela.”
I nod, because that’s not unusual. Mikhaela is my mother’s chief advisor on policy within the Senestris System.
“Just after Arik confirmed he collected you,” Lara says, “your mother apparently contacted the Corporation and arranged for a whole load of ships to mobilize around Glacea. She thought that your…friends would stick nearby until after you were collected, and she’s hoping to run them to ground.” She pauses. “They haven’t been found yet, but now that you’re here, she’s ordered them all to be killed, not just captured. Every ship from Serai to Glacea is searching for them. Apparently, they know too much.”
She says the last in a rush, like she can’t get the words out fast enough.
I have to say, I really wish I hadn’t downed that coffee, considering I’m pretty sure I’m going to puke.
Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t fucking puke.
Some things even the mantra can’t stop. I can feel my dinner crawling back up, and I race to the bathroom.
I barely make it in time.
When I’m finally done, Lara brings me a cool cloth and some mouthwash. I rinse my face and my mouth, then stumble back into my bedroom to think about what Lara told me.
The worst thing is, I’m not even surprised. Horrified, yes. But surprised, not even a little bit. Disposing of threats is pretty much my mother’s modus operandi.
Every new thing I learn is designed to teach me that my mother is not a woman of honor.
I sit very still while I think over what Lara has told me. My mind is whirling. I can’t breathe, and sweat is trickling down my spine. Sure, Arik and I made a plan, but only about an hour ago—and he must not be in on my mother’s plans. My mom’s execution order has apparently been out since I made landfall.
My friends could be dying at this very moment.
The Starlight could have been blown out of the sky.
Ian could be dead, and so could Rain. Max. Gage. Merrick. Beckett.
My already shaky stomach threatens to revolt again, but I refuse to give in to it.
The Starlight is too good at evasive maneuvers to just be brought down like that. She’s gotten us out of scrape after scrape. I have to believe she’ll do it again.
They’re probably already in the Wilds, picking up Milla beyond the reach of Corporation ships. Nothing else makes any sense.
But what if my mother’s right?
What if they didn’t take my leaving as well as I thought they would?
What if something went wrong with their plan and they’re flying right into my mother’s evil trap?
Once the thought occurs to me, I can’t unthink it, no matter how hard I try.
I thought I was keeping them safe by leaving. In reality, I signed all their death warrants.
So what should I do? What can I do?
I have to find a way to save them. I have to. I just don’t know how.
“Your Highness, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. What do you want me to do?”
At her words, I go still, tell myself to calm down. Panicking never helped anyone.
“I’ve made a mess of everything,” I finally tell her. “I never should have come back.”
“Whatever you need to fix it, you can count on me. I’ll help any way I can. And there are others in the palace who will help as well.”
She doesn’t use his name, but I know she means Arik. “You know what will happen if you go against my mother?”
“I know.” She gives a short, humorless laugh. “That has been made very clear to me over the last weeks. But I’m tired of being afraid of her.”
“Me too,” I tell her. “The weeks on the Starlight, when I wasn’t afraid? When I was just me? They were the best of my whole life.” I reach out across the table and take her hand. “I’ll take you with me, this time. You and Arik. You won’t have to stay here any longer.”
“Arik and I already talked it over, before I brought you your food. And we swore if you wanted to escape, we’d find a way to help you.”
“And come with me.”
“And come with you,” she agrees.
“Thank you,” I whisper, squeezing her hand.
“You’re welcome,” she answers.
We’re both quiet for a moment, contemplating the enormity of the task ahead of us.
“How?” I finally ask. “The guards at the door aren’t going to let me just walk away.”
“Arik and I will take care of them. You just be ready to go.”
“When?”
“An hour, maybe two.” She stands up and straightens her skirts. “I’ll be back as soon as we’ve put everything into place.”
And then she’s gone.
Terror rolls through me at the thought of what we’re about to do—and what will happen if we get caught. But some things are worth fighting for. And so are some people.
Ian and the others have already fought for me so many times.
Here, tonight, it’s my turn to fight for them.
Chapter 78
Kali
Every second is an eternity as I wait for Lara and Arik to return for me. I think about packing a bag, but if I get caught skulking through the palace at night, I’ll look a lot less conspicuous if I’m not carrying anything with me.
I’ll also look a lot less conspicuous in my fancy dress. And at least this one isn’t so tight that I can’t run in it.
Still, I’m not totally unpractical, so I grab as many of my fancy gemstone earrings and necklaces as I can fit into my pockets. Currency, while I search for the Starlight. And maybe a present for Ian afterward, to help with fuel and food and anything else we’ll need. They’ll have Milla by now—she’ll probably need new clothes. Maybe we can stock up with her favorite foods. I wonder if she hates dried fishgalen, like Ian.
That only takes a few minutes, and after that, I sit down on my bed and wait.
Twenty seconds later, I’m back up, pacing the floor again. This is torture, pure and simple. I wish Lara and Arik would just hurry up and get here already.