‘You all saw that! She was going to attack me with that poker. That’s attempted assault. You’re witnesses. If anyone’s going to the guards, I am!’ screamed Caroline.
‘I didn’t see anything,’ said Nadine. She turned to Udo and Lina. ‘Did you see Sally try to attack anyone?’
‘Definitely not,’ said Udo, and Lina shook her head vigorously.
‘You’re imagining things, see?’ said Nadine. ‘You should be sectioned. Now, are you going to fuck off or are we going to call the guards?’
Everyone was lying now. My head started to buzz.
Caroline ran back up the lane, shrieking about liars and freaks, while Udo and Lina watched her go.
Nadine led me into Dad’s office, which I’d labelled with a notice that said ‘Private’。 ‘Wait there,’ she said, ‘I’ll get Angela.’
Angela always seemed to have appropriate tablets to hand in her bag. ‘Take this and tell me what happened.’ She passed me a glass of water.
‘You know why I hired Lina. When I heard the whistle, I assumed it was him. I felt a fury and couldn’t control my anger. I was ready to kill him, and even though it was only Caroline, I …’
‘You need to tell Tina about this. You must learn to manage that rage, Sally. Now, stay in here until you have calmed down and then rejoin the party. Nobody back there heard what happened. As far as they’re concerned, Caroline tried to crash the party. They’re all delighted that she has been dispatched. Nobody likes her. She’s clearly a bit deranged.’
‘Like me?’
‘Not like you at all. Take a little time and do your breathing exercises. No more alcohol on top of that tablet, okay?’
‘Yes.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Angela? What if I had killed her?’
‘You didn’t. No point in catastrophizing. Would you like me to stay with you?’
‘No, I’ll be fine. Thank you.’
I waited fifteen minutes in there before I emerged, and while the party outside was still in full swing, the joy I had felt was gone. I felt numb. I helped myself to some food and sat for a while with Aunt Christine.
‘I heard about the gatecrasher,’ she said, ‘the brass neck of her! And she’s the one you had trouble with before.’
‘Yes, she lost her job because of me.’
‘Sounds like she deserved to.’
I felt flat. Lifeless.
‘Are you tired? Goodness me, it’s seven thirty already. What time do you think it will finish up?’
‘I don’t want to stop people enjoying themselves.’
‘It’s a fabulous party, Sally, what a success. I’ve met lots of your friends. It seems like you’re well liked here.’
I wondered if I would be well liked if everyone knew that I had almost attacked Caroline with a poker. I wondered if Udo and Nadine saw me differently now. Udo was watching me. I didn’t want him to tell Martha what I had done. Eventually, he approached me. ‘Are you okay? That was intense.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘You really scared her. You were fierce. You scared me a bit.’
‘I hired the security guard in case my birth father turned up. When she blew the whistle, I thought it must be him.’
‘But you saw that it wasn’t?’
‘I know, but I was so angry. I didn’t know what to do with the anger.’
He was silent for a moment.
‘Thank God you were there, Udo. I could have hurt her.’
He laughed then.
‘It’s not funny. You know I’m seeing a therapist? I still have issues because of my childhood.’
‘Look, it’s over. You didn’t hurt anyone. And who knows what Caroline is capable of? She’s terrifying too. She’s going to have one hell of a hangover.’
‘Was she drunk?’
‘Very. Lina couldn’t get rid of her. That’s why she blew the whistle. She won’t bother you again. I imagine the shame will be too much.’
‘I have shame too.’
‘Look, you shocked us, but it’s over now. Relax.’
The pill Angela gave me was doing its work. I began to feel more at ease. This was something I would process next week with Tina.
Back out in the garden, Ger McCarthy took an accordion out of an ancient-looking case and began to play some old traditional tunes. Valerie, Angela, Nadine, Stella and Kieran （who had left their children with his brother）， and Laura gathered in closer and we made a circle with our chairs and rugs.
Just then, Aunt Christine tapped me on the shoulder. ‘Sally, I don’t want to worry you, but I think there’s someone in your dad’s office? I heard noises in there. Furniture being moved. But there’s a “Private” notice on the door. Are any of the guests missing?’ I looked around and counted in my head.
‘Mark.’
‘Let’s go and see what he’s doing.’
Aunt Christine and I excused ourselves. We crept along the hallway and I swung the door open. Mark was sitting at the desk with a flashlight reading through Dad’s old files.
‘Mark!’ said Aunt Christine. ‘What on earth are you doing?’
He dropped the file and papers went all over the floor. These files were about to go into storage. The guards had the originals, and these were all copies.
‘You wanted to see these files before. Why?’ I demanded to know.
He brushed straight past us, pushing me against the desk, and left through the front door.
‘I don’t like this, Sally. I don’t like this at all. He is way too interested in your history. He didn’t say anything today, but at Donald’s funeral he pestered me about what had happened.’
‘He told me he was fascinated by the case.’
‘He told me the same thing,’ said Aunt Christine. ‘I was so sure he was a journalist then, I looked him up on Google, but his background is all in accountancy. But this is crazy, going through Tom’s old files. How dare he? What’s he looking for?’
I grabbed my phone and called him. It went straight to voicemail. I left an angry message, demanding to know what he thought he was doing.
I declared that the party was over. Some of my guests were drunk. Stella threw her arms around me and declared that I was her best friend. I told her that Sue was my best friend and she thought that was hilarious. Nadine and Angela were both a little unsteady. Sober Kieran said he’d take them home. The others all wanted to walk. They thanked me again for a fabulous day.
Valerie and Laura left together, leaving Aunt Christine and me on our own.
‘I don’t think you should contact Mark again. If he leaves an apology message, fine, but don’t respond. I’m going to tell Angela tomorrow,’ said Aunt Christine.
‘Why Angela?’
‘His behaviour is extremely peculiar. He watches you and talks about you all the time, and I know you told me he was interested in that Asian girl, Anubha? But he didn’t even try to talk to her today. He’s obsessed with you, Sally. And not in a healthy way. Angela is your unofficial guardian in the village. She needs to know.’
I became emotional. I admitted to Aunt Christine what had happened earlier with Caroline and my attempted attack on her.