Lost it is right, I agree in my head.
“Please believe me, Nina, I did not take part in any of their illicit recruitment. I would never falsely prop up another family’s hopes and dreams like that. I know the pain of that crash all too well. I wouldn’t do that to another mother.” I can see Courtney desperately needs me to believe her intentions were not dishonorable. “Is there any way I can help clean up this admissions scandal? And if I can stick it to Winn at the same time, that would be an added bonus.”
“I still haven’t cashed your check. How about you void the check to the athletics department and start a Dunn family scholarship to support students applying to Royal-Hawkins from more financially challenged households, like first-generation students, single-parent households, underrepresented students, that sort of thing?” Given Courtney’s offer, I’m rounding all the bases and taking this headship across home plate.
“How about a half mil?”
“That’s GRRRREEEEEAAAATTTT!!” I roar, this contraction coming on top of the last. Courtney pulls in hot to the emergency room entrance and flies out the driver’s side to get someone to help me because I’m gripped, unable to move.
Ding.
Leo 8:18 PM
I got Xandra. We’re on our way to the hospital. Tell the baby to Just. Hold. On. Daddy’s coming. I love you, Nina.
I love you, too, Leo, I say to myself and know for sure that it’s true. My door flies open, and Courtney’s there with a wheelchair. “Can I offer you another ride?”
THIRTY
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY NEPHEW!” Chaco Taco flies into my hospital room fresh off the plane from Phoenix and tosses her carry-on to Leo to catch. After a clean wax, babies are Marisol’s weakness. She leans over to give Xandra a kiss on the top of her head, then turns to lift Morgan West out of my arms. I look at Leo. Beaming with new dad pride, he nods his head yes, and I hand over our nine-pound son. He looks just like me, and Leo couldn’t be more thrilled.
“I can’t believe you went and had this baby without me. We do everything together,” Marisol accuses, the rosy blush on her beautiful brown skin streaked through with tears of joy.
Squeezing onto the vinyl loveseat with Xandra, Marisol asks the question I haven’t been able to, “What do you think of this guy, Xandra?” There hasn’t been a moment alone to talk with Xandra about this new bundle ruining her spring break, let alone her only-child status. Leo refuses to leave our side for a minute, and I must admit I’m reveling in our new family of four.
“I know he won’t be borrowing my clothes,” Xandra jokes, brushing Morgan’s curls across his forehead with her thumb. I swear I hear him gurgle at his sister.
“Where’s Fitzroy?” Marisol asks, looking around my already packed room. She knows he can’t be far from his family.
Leo jumps on it, saying, “He stepped out to call Celia’s sisters in Kingston, he’ll be back in a—”
“Chaco Taco, what do you think of my grandson?” Dad booms, entering the room radiating joy that his mark on the world has expanded by one.
“I swear, Fitzroy, between a new woman and a new grandchild, you’re growing younger and younger by the day,” Marisol says, aiming right for his pride.
“Don’t you know it,” Fitzroy laughs, flexing his biceps for all to see, then puts his arms out for his grandson. Marisol aggressively shakes her head NO WAY. A compliment is all my father’s getting from her.
A nurse walks in with the form we have to fill out to receive a legal birth certificate for Morgan. Since Leo and I aren’t married, along with the birth worksheet is a paternity affidavit to legally establish that Leo is Morgan’s father. I watch Leo stare down at the tiled floor drawing small circles with his left toe as the nurse explains to the whole room why we have to fill out paternity papers even though this man was on board to be Morgan’s father long before I was on board to be his mother. In the middle of our bliss, the scene is crushing. Holding the pen, my hands are shaking as the innocent nurse keeps referring to protecting Leo’s rights as a father. She rounds out her speech stating she will stay to witness the paperwork being filled out as an authorized notary. Okay, I guess I’m doing this with a full audience.
I heave myself upright in my hospital bed. “Leo, I want my ring back,” I state. Simple. Direct. I’ve learned from my father. I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings. “I love you and I want to marry you.” Leo’s gaze snaps up from the floor.
“Here, take him.” Marisol hands Morgan to Xandra so she can fully witness what’s about to go down. I barely get my ring request out before the waterworks go hormonal. Marisol comes over to hold my hand.
“What I really want is the last six months back, Leo. I acted so stupid about you, about us,” I choke out between gasps.
“She really did. So stupid,” Marisol adds for emphasis and in case Leo didn’t hear me. My dad and Xandra confirm with a round of “yeses” and “uh-huhs,” giving me a moment to wipe my nose on the sheets.
“I thought by being with you, I would end up being less me. Given our differences, I decided that you wouldn’t know how to be the father our child would need; that you couldn’t be the partner I need.” I reach my hand out for Leo to grab hold. He doesn’t move, leaving my arm hanging. That’s okay, I wouldn’t forgive so easily either.
“But there are some people in this room who are much smarter than me.” I look around to my father, Xandra, and Marisol. “They helped me understand that your love and desire to be part of my life and Morgan’s life will not hold me back nor diminish our culture, but that you will be our greatest champion to celebrate exactly who we are. Are we going to have miscommunications given our racial differences? Of course. But Graham and I were much more similar than different, or so I thought, and in the end, it was not enough to keep us together.”
“Jaime and I can get fired up as two hotheaded Mexicans. He’s from a village one over from where I was born, and we are as oil and water as it gets, but you just never know,” Marisol announces as a last bit of evidence to my mounting argument that I am a dumbass, and if Leo will have me back, I want in now.
“I want us to be a family. An under the same roof family. Yes, I want my ring back, but if you’re unsure about getting married given my crazy behavior, I completely understand. I’m happy to take it slow. We can date. We can live together. We can do it however you want to do it. Please, please, let’s do it. Let’s do us, our way.” My lower lip’s quivering, my body trembling with nerves. Leo hasn’t moved a muscle since I started my plea.
“If I could just get you to take a look at these papers.” Hunched over to sneak around my dad, the nurse scooches them back in front of me, her discomfort obvious.
Leo swiftly grabs the papers, rolls them up, and shoves them in his back pocket. “This doesn’t need to be done now. If you could go check on some other patients and come back in a few, that would be great,” Leo insists to the nurse, letting her know he’s not asking for permission but telling her how it will be.
“I’ll be back in thirty to collect those papers,” the nurse huffs, then turns and heads out the door. I desperately want to ask her to bring me more ice chips but know this is not the time. I have a negotiation to tie up.