“How lucky are you that you can now afford to step out AND staff up. Spanny coming to work for my family was the best thing that ever happened to my career—professional and parental. And it will be for you, too, because while you love being a mother, you also love being a head of school.”
“Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to do it,” I offer as a possible sign of progress. The beginning of August is fairly quiet on all school campuses, but particularly this week at Royal-Hawkins with Roan on his long-awaited trip to Paris. He desperately wanted to stroll the Seine for his honeymoon, and a broken engagement didn’t stop him. Roan’s feeding his Francophile alter ego with twice-daily croissants and bottles of Bordeaux with his past head of school and good friend Josie Bordelon. His last text to me simply read, Tate who? So, I have a couple of weeks to settle back in and redefine my leadership style now that I’m a working mother of two.
Once I’m off the phone with Marisol, I’ve got to go find Pablo, who, Mimi informed me, has been champing at the bit to meet Morgan. Between Chaco Taco and Pablo, I plan on having a bilingual baby. Hopefully, he’ll have a better ear for language than his mother.
“Do you remember what you were doing just over a year ago?” Marisol asks mischievously. Thinking, thinking. My mind draws a blank.
“I don’t even remember anything I did last week other than walk Morgan endlessly around the neighborhood, so he’d fall asleep. Last year feels like a lifetime ago.”
“You were doing the walk of shame back to our hotel room,” Marisol hoots, the memory surely clear as yesterday in her mind. My love life continues to be her favorite form of entertainment.
“Best walk of my life,” I reminisce, remembering me in my turquoise wrap dress, stench of marathon sex and zero guilt. “And to think I had declared this last year to one as a no-drama mama.”
“Dios mío, we read those tea leaves wrong. But I wouldn’t change a thing, would you?” Marisol loves to ask questions she knows the answers to. Makes her feel smart. “Yikes, I gotta go, drama mama. Diego and Paco are barking down my back for pancakes before lacrosse camp. Later, lady. Besos!”
I look around what used to be an office for one but is currently home to the two of us. At least for today. I get up to close my door in case Mimi shows up with an extra latte and catches me midpump. I plug in, strap up, and crank some Diana Ross circa Motown to drown out the whoosh swoosh whoosh of my breast pump that has become the soundtrack of my life. I open up my inbox and see an email from Carmel Burns at the top of a four-month heap.
FROM: Carmel Burns
DATE: August 1
SUBJECT: Jared Jones
TO: Nina Morgan Clarke
Dear Nina,
Hope you and that baby of yours are doing good. I’m not sure if you’re back at work or not but I wanted to say thank you for hooking Dontrelle and Marcus up to work with Jared over the summer. To have an accomplished young Black man show my boys that they can be students and athletes, that the choice is not one or the other, has been life changing for our family. Last night instead of playing video games Dontrelle was reading a book Jared gave him. I almost fainted washing the dinner dishes!
Also, it was so nice of Roan to send me the Royal-Hawkins application steps and deadlines for next year. I don’t think we’ll apply since it’s so far away by bus, but knowing you, Roan, and Jared believe in my boys makes me think looking at private schools closer to home could be a possibility. Or maybe they’ll stand out as freshmen with all the tutoring from Jared and they’ll want to stay at our local school. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know my boys have options.
Best to you and your family,
Carmel Burns
Roan, that softie! In our own ways, none of us could let the Burns twins fall through the cracks after Winn’s spring power play with Dontrelle’s and Marcus’s lives.
Morgan and I were released from the hospital on a Sunday afternoon. Given his concern about driving us home in traffic, a lazy Sunday was the best day for Leo’s maiden voyage transporting his son. Once we had gone a few blocks from the hospital and Leo was gaining confidence, I asked if we could make a stop before we made it home. Leo looked at me like I had two heads and one was spouting nonsense, but he relented seeing as I had just delivered him an heir.
I couldn’t get past the fact that I hadn’t been able to send Carmel Burns my email ahead of the Royal-Hawkins admissions decisions going out to families. I knew my laptop was sitting on my desk, email open, one draft waiting to be sent. I only needed five minutes in my office to tidy up my old life before I could fully invest in my new one.
Although Leo was initially terrified to be left alone with Morgan, I promised him our son would not combust without his mother. Leo had me check that my phone was on and charged just in case he spotted flames. My office was as I had left it. A cold half cup of coffee and an empty sandwich wrapper had been keeping each other company on my desk. The throw pillows on my couch were stacked to one side, exposing the catnap I had had to take before the board meeting four short days ago. My laptop was on my desk, but the top was closed instead of open. On it was a neon pink Post-it.
Email sent. You’re welcome. Now stop worrying about work. XO Roan
Roan Dawson, for the game-day save.
I still had four more minutes before Leo would strong-arm the police into putting out a missing mother’s report. I opened my laptop and let my fingers fly before my brain caught up to consider if what I was about to send was a good idea or not.
FROM: Nina Morgan Clarke
DATE: April 6
SUBJECT: Burns Twins
TO: Courtney Dunn
Dear Courtney,
Thanks again for the hospital transport. Not that I deserve any more favors, you’ve done more than your fair share for me, but if you’re still trying to Robin Hood Geoff’s money, I have an idea that I think will help remedy the disaster that was Winn’s meddling. Would you be willing to sponsor Jared Jones mentoring Marcus and Dontrelle Burns over the summer?
Thank you for considering.
Yours in community,
Nina Morgan Clarke
Head of School
Royal-Hawkins School
Before I could close my laptop, Courtney was in my inbox.
FROM: Courtney Dunn
DATE: April 6
SUBJECT: Burns Twins
TO: Nina Morgan Clarke
Done and Dunn!
Jai,
Courtney
Victory is right. Turns out Courtney Dunn is more of a strategic thinker than I had given her credit for, and my school will be a better place because of it. Winn’s motives were way off, but I’m willing to give credit where credit’s due. He did all right strong-arming Courtney onto the board of trustees.
Nina 2:46 PM
I promise the baby won’t break. Xandra’s still intact as evidence. I need ten more minutes.
Leo 2:47 PM
Morgan started to cry so I took him out of the car seat, reclined my seat back and put him on my chest. He stopped crying! But now we can’t move so take your time.
I opened the cabinet behind my desk, and a lonely bag of corn dippers was waiting for me, knowing I’d be back. I pulled them out and ripped ’em open. The taste of the familiar, in familiar surroundings, when so much had changed so quickly was grounding. Before I left my castle to become an indentured servant to my new little king, I knew I had one last email to send out as queen.