“If I stood behind you, it wouldn’t have mattered,” I scoffed. “Why are you mad at me for helping you?”
“I’m mad because you hurt yourself and you didn’t have to!” Scorpius yelled.
For the second time, my jaw dropped.
Usually, I ignored the kings. Their opinions were like male thongs. Useless. Disturbing. And literally no one asked for them.
But now they were acting like they weren’t the worst people who’d ever walked the realms.
They almost sounded like they had feelings, like they cared.
I might be depressed and possibly suffering from the most extreme case of scoliosis ever recorded, but I still had the energy to be stunned.
“You’re our teammate,” Malum said slowly. “We respect you as more than a hole.”
“Obviously,” Scorpius spat.
My eyes widened.
Nothing about anything they were saying was obvious to me.
Were they feeling well?
Had I woken up in a different dimension?
Holy sun god, was this what the afterlife was like? Disappointing—I’d been hoping for a fae beach and free drugs.
My thoughts must have been written on my face, because the kings didn’t argue further.
Malum slung his flaming arm around both Scorpius’s and Orion’s shoulders, then he said to me, “You haven’t eaten in too long. You need to go to dinner.”
I sighed and began to crawl out of bed.
“Let me help you,” Scorpius mumbled as he grabbed me underneath the arm and helped me out of bed.
“I’m gaping at you in shock,” I said loudly because I didn’t want Scorpius to miss out on my facial expressions.
He shook his head with exasperation, but a small smile curled the edge of his lips.
Like he thought I was funny.
I obviously was, but he did not think so.
I fell over from the surprise of it and nearly collapsed onto my knees.
“Careful, careful.” Malum gripped me beneath my armpits and pulled me to my feet.
I yanked my arm away and pressed it to my chest like it burned. “I’m good. You don’t need to help me.”
Their niceness was too much for my feminine constitution. The sun god truly gave his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
I stared at my feet.
The kings stared at me.
“Aran,” John started to say, but I hobbled into the hall and called back, “Dinner.”
The devils were acting weird. There was an ache between my legs, a strange pressure on my spine, and a loud ringing in my ears. Yet the emotional distress was the worst part. Memories of what had gone down with John played in my head.
I’d never felt so confused.
Discombobulated.
Lost.
A weight crushed my chest, and it felt like my organs were shutting down from the force of my guilt. I moved quickly like if I walked fast enough, I could leave it behind me.
Lightning cracked.
I staggered down the empty halls, and I glanced back to find the rest of the legion following behind. My teammates all looked sleep-deprived, and each one wore a scowl.
When I walked into the hall, people turned.
Stared.
Dinner had already started. Chairs squeaked, forks clattered, and the sharp noises echoed like gunshots through my sensitive ears.
My eyes locked on Sadie.
I walked to the dais.
I kept my eyes on her.
Among a sea of judgmental gazes, she was a familiar lifeline.
When I walked to my usual seat, no matter how many times I told myself to just do it, I couldn’t force myself to pull it out and sit down.
I needed my best friend.
I must have stood at the table longer than I realized, because a deep voice said, “You can go sit with her.”
It took me a moment to register I hadn’t imagined it. Malum really had suffered a stroke. He was being nice.
I didn’t wait for him to recover.
As I hurried past the other legions toward Sadie, a wave of self-consciousness hit me. I moved slower. Sadie’s mates don’t want you around her. Not after what you’ve done.
When I got to the shifter table, I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Can I sit with you?”
Everyone stood up.
I flinched.
Sadie threw herself against me and pulled me down into the newly vacant chair beside her. “I’ve been so worried about you,” she whispered against my chest as she hugged me.
I clung back.
Over her shoulder, Xerxes and Ascher both smiled and gave me little waves.
The friendly movement was comically out of place on the two men. Ascher’s tattoos and horns gave him an edge of violence that was matched by Xerxes’s fluid motions as he sharpened his daggers.
I breathed in the faint scent of sweet cranberries as I pressed my cheek against the top of Sadie’s head.
“Are you okay?” Jinx asked quietly from the end of the table as she stroked the ferret hanging around her neck like a scarf. Her dark eyes were too large for her pointy features and gave her a ghoulish appearance.
She looked worried.
Startled by the compassion on her face, I pulled away from Sadie and smoothed invisible wrinkles off my sweatshirt.
“Actually, it’s been pretty rough.” I gave an awkward laugh. “Are you okay?” I asked her pointedly.
Memories of her strapped to a chair sobbing overwhelmed me.
Her soft expression disappeared as she scowled.
“I’m fine.” Jinx’s tone was harsh. “What were you doing on that field? Lollygagging around while the time was counting down? I’ve never seen someone move slower in my life. Where was your sense of self-preservation?”
My jaw dropped. “Really? You want to do this now?”
I was clearly in a delicate state.
Did no one have any respect for the mentally ill anymore?
Jinx rolled her eyes as she cut a piece of steak into impossibly small pieces. “Well, when do you want to do it? Should I wait to criticize your performance when you’re deceased from indecision?”
Jax leaned over and cut Sadie’s steak for her. She tried to push him away, but he just glared at her missing finger and continued to cut until he was finished.
Sadie turned her attention to Jinx and said, “Don’t be mean to Aran. She’s clearly going through a lot right now.”
Jinx huffed and fed the ferret a piece of meat.
I could practically hear the insults she was calling me in her head.
I made a face at Jinx. “Aren’t you supposed to be simpering and apologizing for wiping our memories? Also, I just went through extreme trauma. Show a little respect for your elders.”
Jinx rolled her black eyes. “Nice. Deflect the conversation to cover up your own shortcomings. Very mature. Also, the John guy’s been making moon eyes at you since the competition started. Stop trying to milk it.”
“It was horrible and demeaning.” I gasped with outrage. “It was very upsetting for both of us.”
Jinx scoffed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”
“Don’t listen to her.” Sadie threaded her four fingers through mine and held my hand.
I squeezed Sadie’s hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not.”
Jinx fell silent, and I concentrated on trying to eat some vegetables, but everything tasted like ashes.
My stomach cramped.
The table fell into a comfortable silence.