I don’t want this to end, I caught myself thinking as we neared her house. But of course, it would, but at least I’d have the memories to keep me company through the night. Memories with her were always better than being haunted by the nightmares of my past.
“It’s really hot, you know,” Ray said, breaking the silence with her melodic voice.
My brow pinched with curiosity. “What is?”
“That you read.”
We stopped at the bottom of her porch steps, and I immediately recalled the time she had first kissed me only a few weeks earlier.
“Oh, you think so, huh?” I asked, turning to stand parallel to her. “I always thought it was kinda nerdy.”
“Oh, no way.” She looked up at me, her eyes glittering with mirth and unmistakable flirtation. Her hand left mine to trace a line from my wrist to my elbow and back. “Men who read are usually smart and sensitive—”
“Oh, right, absolutely.” I nodded, struggling to bite back a teasing grin. “Like this guy I knew, Wolf. He was a big reader like me. Really liked the classics especially. Super-sensitive dude. Like, this one time, he caught this other guy crying on the phone, and he just”—I flicked my wrist for emphasis—“whipped the dude in the throat with the book he was reading. Told him to shut the fuck up and stop acting like a pussy. I mean, super-super-sensitive guy.”
“Oh my God.”
Ray’s resounding giggles permeated the air around us as she took her hand from my arm to give my chest a playful smack. I didn’t want to go home yet, and this moment felt too much like the end, so in a bold move, I captured that hand once again in mine and held it firmly against my chest, directly above my heart.
Can she feel it? I wondered. Can she tell how hard it’s beating for her?
Her laughter faded into a whispered gasp as her eyes, illuminated by a single streetlamp and the sconce hanging beside her door, lingered on her fingertips resting against my chest. They moved a little, feeling the ungiving muscle and bone, and she swallowed before parting her lips.
Kiss her, my mind demanded. You’ve done it before, so do it now. Fucking kiss her.
But my hesitation was juvenile, and I could only chalk it up to the inexperience of knowing something genuine. Did she want to be kissed? Did she want me to make a move? Why hadn’t I been granted the gift of clairvoyance so I wouldn’t have to deal with questions like these? And how fucking stupid was it that I didn’t have the answers to them at thirty-one years old?
If only she’d do something else, if only she’d give me a sign …
And then, as if she were the clairvoyant one, her hand slid from mine, moving upward to rest on my shoulder. Fingertips dancing against my neck and into my hairline, applying just a little pressure and urging me down to her waiting lips.
Message received.
I mimicked the movement by placing my hand against her neck, my fingers in her silken hair. I took a step closer to minimize the gap between us, and on the slow descent of my lips to hers, we both smiled simultaneously.
It began like a spring breeze—gentle and warm—but quickly escalated to the strength of a summer storm. Hands wrapped in hair as mouths opened with a gasping invitation. Hot, wet tongues delved and tasted and explored, desperately reaching for places kept south of the border, concealed within my jeans and under her dress. My erection was quickly raging, pressed hard to the center of her belly, aching for more than just the friction of cloth.
“Soldier,” Ray panted, breaking the kiss long enough to release my name.
I answered with a moan, moving my hand from her hair to just outside her breast, to hold the underside of its fullness against the web between my thumb and forefinger.
“Is this okay?” I asked, knowing it was a tentative move.
I was prepared to back away from her if she so much as flinched. But she responded by arching her back and groaning into my mouth.
“Yes,” she replied, and I took that as my cue to glide my thumb across the heavy flesh. Stroking, rolling, pinching as my mouth left hers to move downward to her neck.
Ray’s hands held to my head, combing her fingers through my hair as she gasped wordlessly.
“Noah is with my mom,” she said, as if I wasn’t already aware.
“I know,” I muttered, my mouth open against her neck, licking and sucking. Tasting and marking.
“Come inside?”
It was a request as much as it was a demand, and I stopped abruptly, lifting my head from her neck to search her eyes.
“Are you sure?”
She was a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions. But pain ran deep, and trauma embedded itself even deeper. My concern was with her comfort more than it was with anything else. I cared for her, not just her body, and I didn’t want to take another step further without knowing for certain that she was okay—if that was at all possible, and if not, I would respect that too.
But Ray held my gaze and nodded. “I would tell you if I wasn’t,” she assured me as one hand moved from my hair to seek the evidence of my want and need for her.
She gripped me through my pants, stealing a groan from my lungs. Fuck, it had been so long since something other than my own hand had touched my dick, and while time had an odd way of making it not seem to matter after a while, it fucking mattered now. My hunger for her grew until I was all at once starving.
So, I nodded, prying my lips away from her neck. “You’d better unlock that door fast,” I teased. “Or we’re not making it off the porch.”
“Not sure the neighbors would like that all that much,” she teased right back, taking my hand and moving up the stairs backward.
“The neighbors would understand.” My eyes never left hers. The spell she had over me was so great, so powerful.
She laughed, leading me toward the door. “The neighbors would call the cops.”
“Yeah, maybe, but only because they’d be jealous.” Carnal intent took control as I pressed her back to the door, caging her in with my arms and pressing the strength of my dick against her once again. I lowered my mouth to her ear, smelling her hair and tasting her skin, before adding, “And I’d happily let Officer Kinney slap the cuffs on me to hear you scream my name loud enough for them to hear.”
She shuddered, releasing a hot breath against my cheek. “I think I’d rather have you to myself all night than let you sleep at the police station with Patrick.”
“Then, like I said, you’d better open that damn door.”
I was quick to capture her lips once more before backing away, reluctantly giving her the space to find her keys in her bag and unlock the front door. I leaned against the doorframe, unable to keep my eyes off her. Unable to believe that this was the same girl I’d protected years ago. The same girl I’d held close to my heart and written letters to for all those years I was held from society. It had to all mean something, right? It had to mean something that I would find myself here, that we would allow our feelings to grow until they reached this turbulent, pivotal point in which I could hardly look at her without wanting to explode.
It was always meant to be her.
The thought struck swiftly, kicking my heart with an intuitive truth that took my filthy, dirty mind and flipped it upside down, to bring forth that sensitive guy she believed I was because of my books and love of reading. But it was the truth, wasn’t it?