“You told them what you thought you knew.” He looked up at me and lifted the side of his mouth as he shrugged. “So, I took the rap.”
“But Seth …” I slouched against the chair and held my hand to my forehead. “He said you turned him in.”
He nodded slowly, giving me the space to let the truth swallow me up and leave me feeling hollow. “For dealing, man. Not murder.”
“Jesus Christ, Levi.” I glanced toward the door, shaking my head. “Why didn’t you—”
“We’re all protecting someone, Soldier. But some of us don’t get to win.”
We were more alike than I ever could have imagined. Once upon a time, the Soldier I used to be never would’ve admitted to our similarities or the parallel paths we had walked unknowingly. But the man I was now hung his head, wishing I had known before. Wishing we could’ve been there for each other instead of warring over—what? A beef we never truly had?
It felt stupid now. Juvenile and petty.
The guard opened the door abruptly. “All right, time’s up.”
I acknowledged him with a nod. “Can we just have another minute?”
He took a moment to consider it and then sighed. “I’ll give you five, but wrap it up, okay?”
He closed the door behind him, and Levi nudged his temple toward the door. “Charlie and I are tight, but don’t tell anyone I told you that.”
I could only smile, remembering what that had been like. Befriending Harry and not wanting anyone to know until it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. And now, we were inseparable, like father and son. He had been my best man at my and Ray’s wedding, and we had made him our youngest son’s godfather. I loved him the way I had loved Grampa, and if Grampa were still alive, I knew without a doubt he’d love Harry too.
Levi eyed me expectantly, waiting for whatever it was I wanted to say, whatever had driven me to ask Charlie for another minute.
“There’s still a lot I wanna ask you,” I said, studying my tattooed hands, folded tightly on the table.
Levi hesitated before nodding. “Well, I guess you could write to me if you really wanted to.”
“Yeah, I could,” I said, considering the idea, “or, you know, I could just come back.”
He didn’t answer right away. He could only watch me with cautious suspicion, eyes narrowed and mouth pressed shut. I could understand why he’d assume my motives were malicious, maybe thinking I had all intentions of seeking my own revenge on him for what he had done. The crimes he had committed. The murder he had taken the blame for.
But … I didn’t know. Call me crazy—and, hey, maybe I was—but didn’t we all deserve a little forgiveness for our sins? And if Levi was my only chance at getting to know the father I had been denied, then I didn’t see any reason why I couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive him just a little for his—even if I would never ever forget.
I mean, even Charles Manson had visitors in prison.
He laughed through his nose, shaking his head and eyeing me with disbelief. “You’d actually wanna visit me again?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“No, I mean … it’s cool. I just … I dunno. I guess I figured I’d be dead to you as soon as you walked out of that door.”
I slowly stood up, shaking my head. “We’re each other’s last living relative, man. Might as well get to know each other.”
He didn’t reply. He just stared ahead at the empty chair across from his as his features softened around the edges.
I wondered for a moment if anyone had come to see him at all in the last four years. Maybe Tammi. Maybe some other specter from the past. But I knew I was kidding myself. Nobody had come to see Levi in four years. Nobody cared if he was alive or dead.
As the guard opened the door, I clapped a hand against Levi’s shoulder. He didn’t meet my gaze.
“I’ll see you in two weeks?”
I kept my eyes on him and watched as one side of his mouth slowly lifted.
“Yeah,” he replied gruffly, nodding. “Two weeks.”
Then, with a squeeze of my hand around his shoulder, I nodded to the guard and made my way through the door. Through the hall, through the detectors, and out the main entrance to head back to my car. I got in and started the engine with a quick glance toward the pictures I kept clipped to the visor. Grampa holding me as a toddler. Gramma and Grampa sitting with me on a Christmas Day when I was a little kid. Billy and me on our bikes. Ray and me on a date at the diner. Noah and me on the dock. Ray, Noah, and me with the smallest member of our family, Miles, on the day he was born.
And as Wayward’s gray stone exterior faded to nothing behind me, I drove toward two kids who needed me, and a wife who loved me, and a town that had shown me the forgiveness I needed, and a house in historic River Canyon that I knew Grampa would’ve been proud to know I called mine.
And so was I.
I was proud to call it all mine.
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Well, before I can mention anybody else, I need to give the most special of shout-outs to my sister and best friend, Karen. Because if you hadn’t come along with the name Soldier, this guy would’ve been Garrett. We are all grateful for your naming services, but especially me. I’m always grateful for that, and I’m always grateful for the time we spend brainstorming. Most of my stories wouldn’t exist without that—especially this one. I owe you lots of Dunkin’ iced lattes for that and everything else.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I have to give a shout-out to my family—my parents, husband, my son Jude, and my other sister—and other best friend—Kelly. Without your patience, support, help, encouragement, and pride, I never would be able to accomplish everything that I have accomplished. I say it a lot, but I don’t think any of you truly understand how much everything you do has impacted my transition and growth into this author life. Thank you all for that. So much.
Next, there’s the beta readers and friends who have read this thing before anyone else—Jo, Melanie, Leanne, Erin, and Jessica. You guys. I knew while writing Soldier’s story that this thing was special, but, man … it wasn’t until you read it and told me yourself that I realized I wasn’t just a crazy author infatuated with a fictional man born in my own mind. You made me believe that this truly was special, that I wasn’t delusional, that something happened to me during the writing of this story, and that I had grown. Thank you all for the endless amount of support and constant words of encouragement and praise. Without you all there to stroke my ego, I probably wouldn’t be as confident as I am, and that is truly appreciated.