Shame burned his cheeks but he stayed silent, letting me speak my truth.
“And then you left me. Threw me away like trash!” I screamed in his face, retracting my hand. “And now every man that has come after you has gotten a shadow of me because there’s nothing left!” I beat on my chest hard, as my wolf rose to the surface and Axil did something I didn’t expect.
He covered his face with his hands and burst into sobs.
The raw heartfelt emotion shook me to my core and I didn’t know what to do with it. Axil Moon, the king wolven, didn’t cry. He wasn’t weak. He didn’t break down in sobs over a woman.
Or did he? And was it a weakness?
I stared at him in shock as he broke down and part of me wanted to pull him into my arms and squeeze him so tight until he stopped, but the bigger part wanted him to hurt. So I turned, and hopped out of the room, slamming the door and leaving my past behind me.
Hurt me once. Lesson learned. Hurt me twice … never gonna happen, because I’m not that stupid.
Axil Moon was dead to me.
SPECIAL_IMAGE-images/svgimg0003.svg-REPLACE_ME
I rushed right outside, through the network of hallways and found my brother.
He started to lay into me about making Eliza pack but when he saw the look on my face he stopped. He handed me a large piece of flatbread with butter on it and my mouth instantly watered. I yanked it from his grasp and then slipped past him and into my hammock without saying another word. I wanted to be alone, just me and my yummy flatbread and my stupid feelings. Sometime later I fell asleep and then woke up early the next morning. The campfire was dying and the sun was barely out.
I stepped out of the tent to find that my ankle could now support all of my weight.
Cyrus didn’t look up at me as he added another log to the fire. “Ivanna and one other made it back late last night. They looked half-starved but not severely injured.”
I nodded, handing him a second log without speaking. I knew Ivanna would survive but I didn’t care right now. I hadn’t been able to get Axil’s words out of my head all night.
I’ve spent all these years loving you and you hate me?
Did he really believe he loved me all these years? The sound of his sobbing haunted my soul. Maybe he did.
I’d never seen a man break down like that. Hades, none of the women I knew cried like that. Unless they were submissive or had just lost a relative in battle. He cried like I’d died. Maybe I’d mourned him all those years ago and for some stupid reason he’d held on to hope? So he’d only just lost me last night.
It didn’t make sense.
I didn’t see how he could be so delusional but alas, men were stupid sometimes.
My brother finally spoke. “You made her pack? Zara, are you insane?”
Eliza. I needed to check on her. “Maybe,” I told him and he finally looked up at me with a little compassion.
“You okay? Was it rough out there?”
I sighed, “If killing two wolves, while fighting off another two, and then being mauled by a bearin, only to walk Eliza out on a broken ankle is rough … then yeah it was.”
He stood then, shifting on the balls of his feet before pulling me into an awkward stiff hug.
My brother didn’t hug. Clearly. He was horrible at it. It actually hurt, he was squeezing my back so hard, but I said nothing. It would probably be another ten years before he hugged me again so I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him back.
“I was so damn proud of you when you stepped out of those woods, Zar,” he said, pulling back. “Mom and Dad would have been too.”
Did his eyes look wet?
“Are you crying?” I teased him. Something was in the air. All these men crying over me.
“No!” he snapped, wiping at his eyes and then punching my shoulder hard for good measure.
I grinned. “I had help. Eliza kept me safe. We have an alliance.”
His face fell. “That will only work until the final round and then, if she’s still alive, you’re going to have to kill her.”
My body physically clenched at the thought. “Cyrus, she’s pack. I claimed her.”
His fists clenched. “I know. I can feel her,” he argued. “We all can.” He gestured to my packmates who were stepping out of the tent and yawning with sleep.
They nodded.
Of course they could, she was family now. Mud Flat pack.
I shrugged. “I owe her my life. She stood over me and protected me when I was unconscious as Ivanna came for me with a sharp rock.”
Cyrus looked disappointed. “Zara, two people can’t win this.”
“I know that!” I snapped. I didn’t want to talk about this, I didn’t want to think about killing my new friend and packmate. I couldn’t hear this anymore. “Let’s just focus on taking out Ivanna. That bitch has it in for me and I want her gone.”
Cyrus nodded and then I told him I was going to get some fresh air and food. The piece of flatbread I’d had last night wasn’t cutting it.
I knew that Eliza wouldn’t sleep outside in tents so I walked to the castle and when the guard at the front saw me, he bowed deeply.
“Zara Swiftwater. It’s an honor,” he said.
I froze. He knew my name? “Uh thanks.”
He seemed to read my shocked expression. “Eliza is Death Mountain pack. You didn’t have to bring her home on your shoulders like that. You have all of our respect.”
I smiled. “Yes, I did. She saved my life. Speaking of which, do you know which room is hers?”
He gestured down a long hallway. “Make a left and then it’s the last one on the right.”
I entered the stone castle and walked down the lengthy corridor, making a left at the fork until I came to the last door. Reaching out, I rapped my knuckles on the door he’d spoken of. I sensed her. She was inside full of nervous energy. The door opened and then she stood before me with a bandaged ribcage and wearing a cropped top. There were black circles under her eyes and she smelled of raw meat but she was alive. We both took one look at each other and then rushed into the other’s arms. I held her gently, knowing she was still injured, and she did the same.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “You saved my life.”
I pulled back from her. “You saved mine first. Ivanna would have bashed my head open with that rock.”
She smiled, waving me into the room.
I stepped inside, taking in the luxurious digs. “Wait, why did I say no to this in order to sleep in a tent?” I asked.
She laughed. “I have no idea.”
It wasn’t a room, it was a house! Or as big as one anyway. There was a large great room with a small kitchen and what looked like two bedrooms. The floors were a rich brown-stained wood and the walls were painted a light yellow.
My joke had lightened the mood but I could tell by the look on her face, she was about to say something that would bring me back down.
“You’ll make an amazing queen,” she told me and I froze.
“Stop it,” I said.
She shook her head. “Zara, how do you think this ends? I just heard the next round is paired fighting. You and me against Ivanna and Charlize. The winning team then fights each other.”
I gasped. I didn’t know that. Did Cyrus? Maybe that’s what he was trying to say at the fire.