Older Axil reads.
Just as I was about to flip the book open and see what it was about, the door opened behind me. I startled a little, clasping the book to my chest as my heart jumped.
Axil strode into the room, took one look at me and smiled. “Seeing you after the day I’ve had is about the best thing I can think of.”
It was sweet, but I hadn’t fully forgiven him yet, so I ignored his comment. “What’s the book about? A war manual?”
Wasn’t that what all kings read about?
He chuckled. “No. It’s a fantasy tale of a young woman who carries both light and dark magic. She reminds me of you.”
My heart stopped beating then and I set the book down on the couch before standing tall again.
“Oh? What darkness do I carry?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest in a protective gesture.
He looked regretful at saying that but stepped closer until he was only a few inches away from me. Just he and I standing in front of the fire. In his room. Adults. Alone.
“Well, when we were fifteen it was the loss of your parents.” He reached out and stroked my cheek and it sent a zap of energy down my spine, causing me to swallow hard. “And now … it’s …” His face fell. “My leaving you.”
He was right about all of it. I did carry that darkness with me even to this day.
“Axil, I can believe your brother forced you magically to walk away from me that day … but the day after? And the day after that? I’m sorry but I’m not stupid. I can’t believe that.”
He nodded and then reached down and grabbed the hem of his tunic. I stopped breathing when he started to pull it up over his head.
What the Hades was he—
A whimper lodged in my throat when I saw the network of scars across his abdomen. I was forced to blink rapidly lest I fall into a puddle of tears. Reaching up, I traced a few of the thick jagged lines across his chest. “These weren’t here before,” I couldn’t help but say. I’d stroked his bare chest under the moonlight many times. That summer we would shift from wolf form into human and put on the most basic of coverings. He was topless nearly the entire summer.
“I was imprisoned for two years after I walked away from you that day,” he said, his voice growly and low.
Shock ripped through me. Was this common knowledge? Because I’d heard nothing of it. Two years?
“Why?”
“My brother had just become king and my instructors at the training camp said that I was perfect at everything and if he didn’t watch out, I could overthrow him.”
I placed my hand over my mouth in anticipation of what he would say next.
Axil looked pained then, like he didn’t want to go back to that place in his memories and I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to explain himself, but it would be a lie. I had to know. If I were ever going to trust him, I had to know everything.
“He beat me into submission every single day until he was sure I would never challenge him. I barely ate, he forced me to be scrawny and weak,” Axil said and my wolf rose to the surface.
I wanted to hunt Ansel down right now and skin him alive. I instinctively stepped closer. Without thinking, I threaded my fingers through Axil’s, and his face relaxed.
“When he finally let me go, I had to play it safe. I didn’t bulk up too much at first, didn’t lead any hunts. I acted like a mid-pack dominant.”
I nodded. It’s what I would do. Survive.
“It was at that time, a few months after he let me out of chains, that I got a letter to you.”
I frowned, shaking my head. “No letter ever got to me.”
He sighed. “Dorian read it first. He sent it back to me.”
My whole body broke out into chills. No. He wouldn’t, not after hearing me cry myself to sleep for months. He was a good alpha, he wouldn’t.
“No. I don’t believe you.” I dropped Axil’s hand.
Axil nodded and then walked into the bedroom. I watched in horror as he went to a nightstand and opened a drawer.
No. As much as I wanted Axil to pull a note out of there, I also didn’t want him to. Knowing Axil tried to reach me would heal something inside of me but knowing Dorian betrayed me would break me all over again.
Axil pulled a white folded note out and I suddenly felt sick. He walked towards me and I couldn’t look away from all of the scars on his chest.
“He’s a good alpha. A good alpha knows what’s best for their wolf and I respected that,” Axil said before giving me the note. “I wanted what was best for you too, for us,” he whispered as our fingers touched while I was retrieving the note from him.
I growled at that; a good alpha didn’t let me cry myself to sleep and think I was worthless trash. I had a feeling I was going to need to sit down for this. Dropping onto the sofa, I opened the note quickly and started to scan Axil’s messy script.
Zara,
Where do I begin?
Firstly, I hope you don’t think I would ever just walk away from you like that. But I fear from the sobs I heard as I was forced to follow my brother home, that you did. My brother used his king’s power over me, forcing my lips shut and my head down. When we got back to Death Mountain, he imprisoned me for two years.
For seven hundred and thirty days I dreamt only of you.
I had to stop reading and cover my mouth as a sob erupted from my throat. Reading this letter in front of Axil was both rewarding and torture at the same time.
The sofa dipped and then Axil’s firm hand was on my lower back, rubbing small circles there. I continued reading the last few lines.
You might not still want me, and that’s okay, because I’m not ready to give you the life I promised you. I need some time to do that. But I wanted you to know I’m working on it and I promise one day I will send for you.
My mate.
My future wife.
I love you, Zara.
Now. Forever. Always.
Axil
I whimpered, biting the inside of my cheeks to keep from crying. Then I flipped the note over, recognizing Dorian’s handwriting immediately.
Axil,
You nearly broke her last time and it’s been two years, she’s finally over you. Don’t write again unless it’s to make her your wife. Don’t show up unless it’s to offer courtship. I’ll tear you apart if I see you on my land without a lifelong promise for that girl.
She’s too good for you right now.
Dorian
I smiled at Dorian’s note and all the anger I thought I would feel for my alpha fled. At the two-year mark I was finally doing okay. I had started dating again and was no longer sulking and hating my life. Dorian was right, seeing this letter only to read that Axil could do nothing to be with me, would have sent me over the edge at the time.
“Can you believe he said that to me? That he would tear me apart? A prince in line to the throne!” Axil chuckled beside me.
I’d forgotten he was here. Setting the note on my lap, I folded and tucked it into my pocket. “I’m keeping it. It’s mine,” I declared.
He said nothing, only nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a prince?”
He sighed. “Because I had no intention of taking the throne. I didn’t want you to see me as someone I wasn’t. I wanted nothing to do with this role. I wanted you, and a small house in a village somewhere with a dozen kids.”