Axil released a shaky breath and then stared at me. “Your bond is too strong. I can’t take her back.”
Eliza had this resigned look on her face but I felt horrified by the whole thing. It was just proof that we were family now.
“Will you give us a moment?” I asked her.
She nodded, squeezing my shoulder as she passed. “I’ll go see my parents and sister one last time and then meet you in the ring.”
Bile rose in my throat at that and then she left. The second the door closed, I rushed into Axil’s space. “I can’t, Axil. I won’t. I love you but I can’t kill her.”
He swallowed hard, nodding. “She’s going to forfeit.”
I froze. “How did you know?”
“She came to me late last night and told me.” He looked sick as well. “And I haven’t slept since. I never expected her to make it this far to be honest. You made her stronger, you turned her into a tough contender.”
I did. I prolonged the inevitable. Stupid me.
“Can you … I don’t know, talk to the advisors? Axil, she’s my packmate, the trials are supposed to be one woman from each pack.”
He wouldn’t meet my gaze, he was staring at his plate of food. “I tried. An hour ago. They said the strongest woman must be queen and that’s why the trials were designed this way. The people will accept nothing less.”
I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck. “What if you call off the trial? Don’t get married.” I suddenly blurted out. “I don’t need to be queen, I can just be your lover, in secret—”
He pulled me into his arms then and my throat tightened. “They will not let me remain king without a queen and eventually an heir.”
Right. The bloodline must go on.
I let him hold me, releasing all the tension I was carrying since Eliza and I had killed Ivanna and Charlize. Either way, no matter how you sliced it, Eliza or I were going to die today.
“Can you make it a law that you can forfeit but still keep your life?”
Axil looked at me as if I were a small child. “That is the law. It’s the people who have taken it upon themselves to kill a pack member for forfeiting.”
I felt trapped.
Pulling back from him, I finally forced him to meet my gaze. “Tell me what to do,” I begged.
Let her forfeit? Should I forfeit? Try to run and let the guards kill me? I just needed someone else to make the decision for me, to take away the burden.
He frowned. “You really love her, don’t you? Like a sister?”
I nodded. “I never should have befriended her. But it’s too late now. And she saved my life out there in the dead lands. She’s so loyal and innocent—”
He reached up and traced my bottom lip, stopping my words. “I’m selfish. I want you as my wife and queen, so do not ask me what you should do. I will disappoint you.”
I frowned at that but appreciated the honesty.
Reaching out, he traced my jawline with his finger. “Do what you can live with and I will make sure we are together.”
I chewed my lip. How could he make sure we were together if I forfeited and then got ripped apart by my pack? He was daydreaming about a scenario that didn’t exist.
I knew I had to get out of there and yet I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Axil. I wished we’d had more time, more kisses, more everything.
Because as much as I loved Axil and wanted to be with him, there was no way in Hades I was letting Eliza die on my account. I would forfeit, the crowd would tear me apart and Eliza would be queen. Would Axil love her like he loved me? No. Not at first, but I hoped they could grow to love each other in their own way and offer companionship.
There were no words for this situation so I let my body do the talking. Reaching up, I grasped Axil’s chin and pulled his mouth to mine. His body immediately responded and his fingers clutched my hips, pressing me tightly to him. My mouth opened as his tongue slid across mine and my heart actually ached in this moment. Kissing Axil was like breathing and I didn’t know how I had gone so long without it, without him. My inner fifteen-year-old lovesick little teenager had secretly prayed for this moment. For our reunification, and now … it was over.
A single tear slipped down my cheek and landed on our locked lips, tracing our kiss and sealing it forever.
He stiffened then.
He knew.
He knew what my choice would be.
Pulling back, I kissed his nose and gave him a weak smile. “I love you, Axil Moon. Now. Forever. Always,” I said and then I stepped back, his hands falling away from me as his face went slack. I couldn’t look at him anymore and so I turned and left the room, walking away from him like he walked away from me when I was fifteen.
TEN
I wanted to cry, but that was a weakness I couldn’t afford right now. I needed to go out into this crowd and look as strong as possible. And so I sucked all of my storming emotions down and traversed the hallways, making my way outside. The second I approached my pack’s tent, I felt my knees go weak.
“Zara!” Oslo ran for me and then crashed into my stomach, wrapping his arms around my middle.
No. Not him. My gaze searched the crowd of people now in front of my tent to see that Dorian, Amara and nearly the entire pack had come.
No.
Oslo pulled back and looked up at me. “Are you surprised to see us?” he asked, giving me a huge smile.
I was in shock, my heart fluttering as I imagined my little brother watching Dorian rip out my throat.
I couldn’t speak.
Dorian saw me then and grinned. “When I heard you’d made it to the final fight, I had to be here.” He stepped over and lifted me into the air. Normally I would smile, or say something snarky but again, I was speechless.
Dorian sensed it then, something restless in my soul. He set me down, frowning, and met my gaze.
“All well, little wolf?”
I swallowed hard, glancing around at my packmates nervously.
“Let’s give them some space,” Amara said and the pack cleared the firepit area, clapping me on the back as they passed.
When it was just Cyrus and Dorian, I looked my alpha in the eyes and held his stare.
“You heard I brought one of the girls into Mud Flat pack to survive?” I asked him.
He nodded. “I felt it. Still do.” He tapped his chest.
I figured. “Axil tried to break the bond this morning and take her back. He couldn’t. It’s too strong.”
My brother let a curse word fly and rubbed the back of his neck in anxiety but Dorian just nodded. “I see.”
Did he? Did he know what I was about to do?
He opened his mouth to speak when I heard my name called and turned. One of the elder wolven advisors was standing behind me with two guards.
It was time and Dorian would find out my plan soon enough. Best not to worry him.
I turned back around and pulled the big alpha in for a hug. “You’re a good man, Dorian, and you were a great alpha,” I whispered into his ear as his arms tightened around me.
When I pulled back, he looked surprised at my words, his eyebrows knotted in the center of his forehead in confusion.
I walked over to my coach, my big brother, and pulled him in for a hug next. “Don’t let Oslo see. Keep him in the tent,” I told him and he nodded against my shoulder. Cyrus was clueless to my plan as well but he knew I was protective over my little brother and probably just thought I didn’t want him to see me get injured or kill Eliza.