I dart a look at Dom and take the drink. Lucky settles himself back in front of his game, only partially turned our way. His own drink is precariously balanced on a raised coaster beside him. With his long dark-blond hair escaping down his back, I can’t decide if he looks ludicrous or completely right.
After a moment of strained silence, Lucky laughs and adds more quietly, “He’ll cover all the bases with you. First, second . . . ”
Beau throws a pillow at him.
Looking for any distraction, I take a sip of my drink and immediately wrinkle my nose. It’s cloyingly sweet, almost a syrup, and obviously devastatingly alcoholic. I’m running on an empty stomach too, but I don’t want to seem as though I’m complaining. I’ll just go easy on the booze.
“How many men have you slept with?” Dominic asks bluntly, drawing my attention from the frosty glass.
“Is this really necessary?” I reply, a prim press to my lips.
To my surprise, Jasper answers from where he’s perched beside Dom. Not a hair is out of place around that breathtaking face. “We need to understand who we’re dealing with, what kind of experience you have. We’re not going to treat a virgin the same way we would someone who has been in the lifestyle for years.”
“The lifestyle?” I tilt my head, confused.
Beau reaches up and plucks at the tie in my still-damp hair. “Kink, darlin’。 Someone experienced with BDSM.”
I move to pull my hair out of his grip, but it only tightens. His lips tilt in an entertained smile, and I sigh, deciding it isn’t worth the struggle. As soon as I relax, he resumes pulling the tie out of my hair until the locks tumble down my back. Looking at Beau seems like the safest option at the moment, now I’m cradled on his lap—at least while Lucky is only half paying attention.
Or pretending like he is, anyway.
I lick my lips. “So are you . . . ah, all into that kind of . . . ?”
His hand trails down my back, then down my hip until he goes back to making those slow, shivery strokes along my inner thigh. “Mm-hmm. To different extents, and in different ways. We were all in a private kink club off base when the first strikes went down—a couple of us used to go there to blow off steam whenever we had leave. We hauled ass to get back to base, but it was blown to shreds by the time we got there. We stuck around for a bit to see if there was anything we could do, but it was chaos. We couldn’t find the rest of our platoon. Not . . . not much of them, anyway.”
His face grows grimmer as he speaks. I can almost see the memories scarred in his eyes. Without thinking, I lift my hand to brush my fingers over his cheek, wishing I could brush away the hurt as easily.
Beau leans into my touch for a moment, and continues roughly, “Jasper guessed his retreat might be safe—he was our shrink, and our friend, before he retired. Dominic and I’d been out here a few times and agreed it was our best option.”
“You know I don’t like that term, Beau,” Jasper says, disapproval sharp in his tone. The way his chin lowers makes the angles of his face seem sharper, pooling darkness in the hollows.
Lucky mock gasps. “Yeah, we’re not friends.”
“Don’t test me, Lucien.” Jasper isn’t warm and bookish now. “I do not find derogatory remarks amusing.”
Lucky glances up from his game at Jasper and color floods his cheeks when he takes in his expression.
“Our psychologist,” Beau corrects, inclining his head apologetically.
“Sorry, Jasper,” Lucky mumbles.
I’m grateful for the brief reprieve, because my mind is still caught back at “kink club” and “BDSM.” Burying my face in my drink, I take a long sip to try and collect myself. Okay. Not only am I agreeing to a crazy sex pact with five strangers, but they’re five strangers into the kind of kink I don’t even have the experience to imagine.
Right.
No problem at all.
I mean, sure, I’ve delved into the racier sections of the romance shelves before, but my memories of the brief pages I was able to bring myself to read in no way make me more comfortable right now. Darn it!
Dominic clears his throat, his annoyance far less measured than Jasper’s. “If you’re done getting off topic, she still hasn’t answered the question.”
I scowl.
“Are you a virgin?” he demands.
“One,” I mutter, realizing I’m not going to be able to escape his questioning. No torture devices needed, apparently. I have the backbone of a kitchen sponge. “I’ve slept with one person.”
There’s a momentary silence. Jasper leans forward, concern creasing his brow. “Please tell me I misheard that.”
I sigh, cheeks pink, and my gaze drops back to my drink. How can I possibly still be considered a dud in these circumstances? The quiet rejection stings worse, in its own way, than Jaykob’s harsh judgment. “My husband is the only man I ever slept with. We met when we were teenagers.”
When I was so desperate for a friend. When he was so desperate to be someone’s hero. Back before he lost everything and realized I wasn’t worth the cost.
“Sorry you lost him, beautiful,” Lucky says, turning from his game to look at me seriously.
I give him a stiff smile and shrug awkwardly. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, not really, but it’s . . . well, it’s been a long time now.”
In the end, while his passing during the strikes was certainly sad, I hadn’t been heartbroken. But I’m hardly going to get into that now.
“Anal.”
My head snaps toward Dominic.
“I beg your pardon?” Ice chills my voice.
He rolls his eyes upward, for all the world like he’s praying for strength.
“Have you had anal sex before?” He runs a hand over his jaw. “Never mind, I can see that’s a no. Something easier, then.
Has anyone ever gone down on you? Can you give a blow job?”
My mouth drops open, and his sinful lips curve, though amusement is scarce in his eyes. “Yes, that’s the general idea, but I would prefer a verbal response.”
My jaw clicks shut, and my eyes narrow. My one experience attempting a grand oral seduction had ended after all of five seconds, with Henry pulling my mouth off him and telling me I was prettier when I acted like a lady.
I hadn’t exactly protested, though. The clinging odor of urine had turned my stomach and left me wondering if I would embarrass myself further by vomiting all over his crotch.
That probably wouldn’t have been ladylike either.
“No,” I mumble, deciding not to share that detail with the class. I take another deep draw of my sugary drink and the syrupy flavor of Skittles slides over my tongue. Oddly, it’s growing on me.
“Maybe it would be quicker to cover what you have done. How many times did you have sex, ballpark? Did you do anything other than missionary?”
He sounds frustrated. Bah. Kings don’t usually need to sleep with silly, inexperienced women. He’s used to having his pick. How disappointed must he be?
Jasper has settled back into the chair, but the crease in his brow deepens with my every response.
I clear my throat.
“He . . . I mean, we did it from behind. Once.” At the silence, I moisten my lips and huff. “He was deployed a year after we were married, and I left him about two years after that. But, well, we weren’t . . . together . . . all that many times. He was out of the country so much . . . Things were so intense overseas. And I think, I mean I know, he didn’t really— I wasn’t what he—”