“You planning to wipe her ass for her too?”
I grind my teeth. I didn’t even get a chance to see her last night before she ducked off to bed—and I’d wanted nothing more than to crawl in beside her. Instead, he had me out here at the ass crack of dawn like he can’t bear to be in the same house with her.
I sling my weapon over my shoulder before I’m tempted to use it on him. “You had no right to drag me out here on some useless exercise because you can’t bear that she makes you tingle in your happy places.”
Dom shoots me a warning look. “Don’t start on that shit with me, Beau. I need your head in this—so pull it out of your ass.
We have bigger things to worry about than some girl. Move west; the clearing was that way.”
He turns to stalk off, and I pick up the pace so I’m stalking beside him. We’re not going to avoid this conversation like we do all the others. It’s past time we talked through our shit.
“You’re keeping me away from Eden, so I’m gonna go ahead and say you started this one,” I bite back. “She’s most comfortable with me; it was a dick move to drag me off before she’s even settled.”
Dom doesn’t even look my way, every inch the stern CO, utterly unfazed by my irritation. He steps over a log, checks the compass on his kit and keeps moving. “We need to do recon. There are others still out here, I’m sure of it, and there could be trouble. I’m not compromising our security because you want to get your dick wet.”
Dick wet?
“You trying to piss me off?” I ask between gritted teeth. “Kiss my ass, Dom. You need someone out here, fine, maybe you’re even right about that, but there’s no reason that had to be me. I brought her in. I convinced her to stay. She’s—”
“Yours?” The calm breaks, and Dom snaps his own golden glare my way. “She’s not yours, Beau. She’s everyone’s. She’s no one. She’s just some girl we picked up. Two days ago. What is with this insta-love shit?”
“She’s ours, Dom,” I bite out. “Maybe you don’t remember what that’s like, but I sure do. And for the record, you don’t have to be in love with someone to show them a little good old-fashioned hospitality.”
“For the record, I don’t think your mama would agree with your idea of ‘old-fashioned hospitality.’” Dom rolls his eyes.
Rolls. His. Eyes.
Is he really trying to pretend this doesn’t even faze him?
“If she’s just some girl, then how come you can’t bear to be in the same room with her?” We pass the stream where I tended to Eden. Where she kissed me like she wanted to drown in my arms. I drag him to a stop at the lip of the forest. “If she’s just some girl, it should’ve been real easy for you to work her over with me yesterday, burn off some of that tension from the last three years.”
Dom snorts. “You’re not going to bait me into fucking her, idiot.”
“Like I need to. You might take your own sweet time about it, but you’ll snap sooner or later—you always do.”
He glowers at me, and I glare back, trying to figure out how to get through to him. I want to ask if this is about Heather, but if I do, this conversation will be over. I’d just about need to pull out the cuffs and catch him by surprise to get him to go there.
And anyway, I don’t want to be making this about her when it should be all about Eden.
“You got no interest whatsoever in pinning that girl between us and seeing how many times we can make her come? You don’t want to watch those pretty eyes beg for more? You really saying that you don’t miss waking up with a warm, pretty girl snuggled between us?” A muscle ticks in his jaw, and I press on. “You know how alone she’s been. You telling me you don’t want to give her a friend she can count on? You really want me to do this without you?”
“I don’t want a mouse for a pet!” he bursts out, eyes flashing with temper. “God damn it, I want—”
Dom’s mouth snaps shut, and my lips twist bitterly, choosing to ignore that he’s insulted Eden twice now.
I won’t let it slide a third.
“She’s gone, Dom.”
He shakes his head sharply, like that wasn’t where he was going, even though we both know it was.
“You just want her because she’s here,” he says softly. “It’s not a good enough reason. Not for this, not for us.”
Us. Yeah, right. Us has been on the rocks for a long time.
For a way longer damn time than that, though, Dom was my brother. In greens and out. We met in military school and got tight fast. We fumbled through learning how to top with some seriously patient subs together. We got our first girlfriend together. Got dumped by that same girlfriend, also together. We graduated together, did our Ranger training together. Even when I did my surgical training and he started working his way up the ranks, we stayed partners. And as soon as I graduated, we pulled every string we had to make sure we were in the same squad.
I always thought it’d be him and me, preferably with some pretty subbie between us, right up until we got dusted. That had always been The Plan.
Then Heather happened, and suddenly Dom was telling me good and clear that I didn’t feature in his new idea of Happy Ever After. That it wasn’t going to be me and him and our girl—it was just him and his girl, and maybe Beau as a little side piece whenever Heather was feeling adventurous. Like I was an extra man-shaped dildo they could pull out when I served a purpose. He loved her more than me, and so fifteen years of friendship and The Plan got nuked with one brutal conversation.
When Heather blindsided all of us and ran off with Thomas instead, I was there with him, despite it all. But this resentment won’t let me alone; I can’t push it far enough down this time. At the same time, I haven’t been able to bring it up, not when our friendship is this weak. It’s like it’s lacking its old foundation—a mis-healed bone that’s still too tender to take our full weight.
Since Heather left, we’ve been gentle with it, not pushing it too hard.
But it has to end.
Eden could be our last chance at happiness together. This time, I know I’ve got to tell it to him straight—he’s right on the
brink of fucking this up for the both of us.
“That ain’t it, Dom. It’s not just because she’s here. She’s more than just convenient; I want to know her better. And you don’t get to make the decision that I don’t, just because you’re scared I’ll choose her over you, the way you chose Heather over me.”
He stiffens. “I didn’t—”
“Don’t. Don’t lie to me,” I warn, chest tight.
Jasper’s been trying to get me to talk to Dom about this for years, but I haven’t been able to find the words.
“Dom—”
“For fuck’s sake, would you just—”
A bullet explodes into the tree beside my head. Chips of bark spray us both as Dom yanks me down under him, pulling us both behind a tree. He scans my face as bullets pepper the trees around us with brutal, bursting thuds, and I pull back to look him over, breathing easier when I don’t spot any blood.