“Fine. I acknowledge it’s possible. But I don’t think Colin is capable of that kind of madness.”
“Mom, I think he would have cheated on Lorelei with me if I’d been willing.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s stalking you. Besides, Lorelei is cheating on him. Everyone knows that.”
The burn of bile hit the back of my throat and I almost gagged. “How can you be so nonchalant about that?”
“Because he cheats on her. Everyone knows that too.”
My stomach churned and I moved toward the sink in case I did vomit. This was all too much for one afternoon, especially in the wake of the I hate you note on my car. “I can’t take all this. They’re cheating on each other and everyone knows it? And this is not a big deal to you?”
“There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“But you keep implying that I should have married him. Why would you imply I should have married a cheater?”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t have cheated on you.”
“Mom.” I stared at her in disbelief. “Are you really that na?ve?”
She took a resigned breath. “No. You’re probably right. It’s for the best you didn’t marry him.”
“Wow, did it hurt to admit that?”
“Don’t blame me for all this. I did the best with the cards I was dealt. We were an important family in Pinecrest and your father left it to me to hold our image together. When it came to you, he had expectations. And he expected me to make sure they came true.”
“You mean Dad wanted me to marry Colin so he put pressure on you to make it happen.”
“And blame when it didn’t.”
I shook my head. “This is all nuts. You realize that? Dad had an affair, resulting in a child I didn’t know existed until five minutes ago. And now you think he’s the one stalking me– because reasons?”
“Because he hates your father.”
“Dad isn’t here. Why would he be stalking me? He just decided to transfer his hatred to his next of kin? Like a crappy inheritance?”
“Yes,” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“All right, fine. Maybe you’re onto something. But you’ve talked to the police. Why didn’t you tell them before?” As soon as the question left my lips, I knew the answer. Because no one knew. And now they would. “Your friends don’t even know, do they?”
“Of course not.” She seemed shocked at the very notion. “How could I possibly tell anyone such a thing? What would have become of us?”
It would have caused a scandal and who knows how much damage to Dad’s career. Not to mention, their pristine reputation in town would never have recovered.
But what a horrible secret to keep. And for what? Image?
It was so sad, I couldn’t even be angry at her. What an awful way to live.
I’d tasted that life myself. I’d been so ashamed of coming home, when I’d thought I was meant for bigger things. And what had that been? Just vanity. The desire to look successful in other people’s eyes.
The apple hadn’t fallen as far from the tree as I would have liked to think.
But at least I could see it now.
“I wanted you to hear it from me,” she said. “I don’t know how much anyone will care at this point, since it’s been so long, but it could cause gossip. Probably not here, but certainly in Pinecrest.”
I moved closer to my mom and took her hands. “I’m so sorry you have to relive this. It must be painful.”
She sniffed a little and straightened her shoulders. “I’ll be all right. I’ve persevered this far.”
“Of course you have. But, you know you don’t have to just persevere through everything. It’s okay to admit that you’re hurt.”
“Well, now I have admitted it.” She slipped her hands out of my grip and smoothed down her blouse. “I should have gone to the police with this immediately, but I didn’t want to face it. I admit that and I apologize. I know I’ve made mistakes, but I love you. I truly do want what’s best for you.”
“I know you do.”
“I should go.” Just like that, she’d transformed into the poised, businesslike woman I knew so well. “I have things to do this afternoon and I’m sure you do as well.”
I didn’t argue with her. She needed space to gather her courage to talk to the police. Whether her theory was right or wrong, I appreciated that she’d finally told me the truth. I’d grapple with the reality that she’d kept this from me for my entire life later.