“You’re in love.”
“I really am. But why do you sound sad?”
“Do I?” She perked up and I recognized her everything is fine face. “I’m not sad in the least. I’m thrilled for you.”
I believed her, but I also sensed that something else was on her mind. “Are you sure?”
“Of course. All a mother wants is to see her child happy.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that—at least not coming from her—but I let it go. “I’m definitely happy with Josiah. Very happy.”
“Good.”
The water came to a boil. She chose jasmine tea and I made a cup of the same for myself. I put a few cookies on a plate and set them on the table, then we each took a seat.
“So,” Mom said, “how is life here in Tilikum? I’ve always liked this town.”
“It’s nice. I like it here a lot, actually. I didn’t think I would, but it’s grown on me.”
“I dated a boy from Tilikum when I was younger.”
“Did you really?” I knew next to nothing about my mom’s life before she was married to my dad. Nothing specific, at least, particularly about her dating life. “Who was he?”
“A young man named Daniel. I was in high school at the time. We didn’t see each other for very long. Just a few dates, really.”
“What happened?”
Her expression shifted, becoming neutral, like she was trying to hide her emotions. “Your father happened.”
“Oh. I guess the other one wasn’t meant to be.”
“No.” She patted my hand. “And we had you, so it was worth it.”
The implications of that statement were intriguing. This was the most in-depth conversation I’d ever had with her about my father or their marriage. I honestly had no idea how she’d really felt about him. Had she truly loved him? Did she miss him now?
I had so many questions, I hardly knew where to begin.
“Did you love him?”
“Who?” she asked. “Your father or Daniel?”
“Dad.”
She looked down, as if the answer were on the surface of her tea. “Yes.”
“Is that a qualified yes, or a straightforward yes?”
“I did love him. Even when I shouldn’t have.”
This was getting stranger by the minute. She got up, taking her tea with her, and wandered to the sliding glass door at the back.
“It really is pretty here, isn’t it? Is there anything on the other side of that hill?”
“No, just woods.”
“What kind of flowers are those?” She pointed to something outside. “I don’t think I’ve seen those before. Did you plant them?”
“No, they just grew.”
“Such a pretty color. You would have loved picking those when you were little.”
“You’re very nostalgic today. What’s going on?”
She paused, still looking outside. “I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“The past.”
“Are you okay? You’re not about to tell me you have a terminal illness, are you?”
She shook her head and turned to face me. “No. I’m not sick.”
“Then what’s going on? You decide to come visit out of the blue and then you’re talking about things we’ve literally never talked about as if it’s no big deal. I had no idea you dated anyone before dad. For all I knew, he was your first love.”
“Oh, he was. I didn’t love anyone before him.”
“Okay. That’s sweet, but I still feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“There are many things you don’t know, Audrey. Things I had to keep from you. It was always for your own good. You must understand that.”
The sudden urgency in her voice made me nervous. “What things did you have to keep from me?”
She started pacing, although slowly. “Your father wasn’t a bad man. He was good at heart. He loved his community. I’m sure every politician has a certain love of power, and he was no exception. But he did care about the people of Pinecrest.”
I wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “Okay?”
“I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I married him. He was older than me, and so sure of himself. Such big dreams. It was all very attractive. Even before he was in politics, he was very popular. Everyone loved him.”
“That’s not a surprise.”