A hangover pounded through my skull and made me regret ever trying to find a will to live.
Fingers tangled in my curls and pulled as Malum whispered fiercely, “It’s crucial to the war effort that we master our powers. Every day we waste could be another soldier’s death. The High Court is waiting for us to be able to perform.”
I rolled my eyes. “You just want to force me to mate. Don’t act like it’s any other reason.”
There was an awkward pause.
Malum dragged his hands over his face like he was tired. “I don’t care about that—”
“Please,” I said sarcastically.
Who did he think he was fooling?
He sighed loudly and, sounding defeated, said, “I just want you to be safe and…well. If that means you won’t bond—so be it. But we still need to try to master our powers. One thing I won’t do is put you in needless danger.”
I took a moment to let his words sink in.
Then I shrugged.
“If it’s just about training, then let the soldiers die,” I mumbled. “I hope the ungodly win.” I squeezed my eyes tight and wished everyone around me would stop trying so hard to save everyone else.
Every man for themself was my life motto.
I’d always said this.
“You don’t mean that.” Malum’s voice was rough from sleep, and I shivered.
“I really do.”
The covers were ripped away, and I shrieked with horror as the cold became crippling.
“Shut the fuck up,” Vegar shouted sleepily from across the room.
I whispered, “Sorry,” as I grabbed the covers back from his hands. Frost marks covered the fabric where I grabbed, and I repositioned the blankets so the ice wouldn’t touch my skin.
The warmth from the bed was a harsh contrast to the freezing air.
I shivered miserably.
Malum whispered back angrily, “So you’re fine with the ungodly murdering our soldiers because you wanted to sleep? Or you’re fine with us unleashing our powers and killing them anyway?”
“Both,” I mumbled.
“Just wake up,” Scorpius said tiredly, like he didn’t want to have this conversation. “Please.”
I buried my face in the warm body laying beneath me. “I hate you three so much,” I mumbled. “But especially Malum.”
“I know,” Malum said darkly. “Let’s go.”
I groaned.
Once again, I wished I weren’t such a good person, because it was hard being so sun-god-damned magnanimous. I should get an award for how much I gave to others. It was exhausting being the backbone of society.
Also why was everyone so obsessed with me?
With a hangover pounding in my skull, I pushed myself out of John’s warm embrace and stumbled over Luka’s sleeping figure sprawled partially on the floor and leaning against the lower bunk so he could be close to us.
The twins mumbled in their sleep.
“I’ll be back.” I ruffled their messy hair and gave them both a smacking kiss on the forehead. Icy blue outlines of my lips lingered on their foreheads, and I admired my work.
“Bye, love,” Luka murmured, and my heart hurt because he was just so adorable all rumpled on the floor with his arms wrapped around his twin.
Cuteness aggression made me want to bite him.
Malum swore, and I was 99 percent sure he purposely tripped over Luka and kicked him in the stomach.
“Don’t hurt him,” I snarled. Normal aggression made me want to stab him.
The kings made noises of annoyance.
I scoffed back at them as I fumbled through my drawer and got dressed.
So much for them prostrating themselves before me and swearing to be my hounds. Watching them pretend to be remorseful was giving me whiplash.
So much for Malum crawling.
It was like they could only pretend to be meek and repentant for a few hours before they overloaded with aggression.
I zipped up my jacket and shivered as I followed the harbingers of doom out into the chilly morning where an ice storm raged. Another gray day.
Being mated to them was proof that sexuality was not a choice.
As we left the sleeping barracks, instead of walking ahead of me like I expected, Malum fell into step behind me. Scorpius and Orion flanked my sides.
“With all due respect,” I whispered to them, “which by the way, is none—why do we have to train at the ass crack of dawn?”
They didn’t respond.
As we walked through the snowy forest further away from the camp, Orion kept looking down at me with a strange expression.