It gives me peace to hand it over, and I start to drift off.
Until I wake up suddenly.
I know where she might be.
The night she stayed over with me, we walked to the beach by going down through town to pick up snacks. On the way, we passed the church and the bus, the paint Phoebe and Victor applied faded to almost nothing.
Did anyone check it? I fling the covers off and yank clothes on over my pajamas. I don’t have a car here, so I’ll have to walk, and it’s very dark. Pressing my lips together, I wonder if I should call Phoebe, but what if Jasmine isn’t there and it just gets her hopes up?
I should call Joel to go with me, but as absurd as it is, I don’t have his actual number. We haven’t made that connection yet.
It isn’t far, maybe two blocks down the hill, and then another two to the lot where the bus is. Maui is with me, and I have good boots and a flashlight. It’s pouring down rain, which will keep everybody but me inside.
I don’t have a leash for Maui, and I’m worried that he might take off after some little animal, so I tie a long scarf around his neck and he accepts it happily. “You’re such a good dog. Maybe I need a dog.”
His calm eyes agree with me. I have my phone in my pocket, an umbrella over both of us, and a flashlight in my leash hand.
It’s really dark. The road is awash in mud and puddles that make a mess of my hems. Maui doesn’t seem to mind, trotting out slightly ahead of me.
A sound behind me, cracking or a snap or something not quite right, makes me spin around, the flashlight creating an arc that catches on a figure, then swings by, and I try to swing back but my hands are shaking and I miss the first time, then center in on—
Joel.
“What are you doing?” I cry. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“What are you doing? I slept in the truck in case anyone bothered you.”
“Joel!” It shatters me. I close my eyes. “I would have let you stay.”
“It doesn’t matter. What the hell are you doing?”
I grab his arm. The more the merrier. “I might know where Jasmine is. Also, you need to give me your number.”
“Do you want to just drive? It would be a lot drier?”
I pause. “Yes. That would be much better.”
The old block is deeply creepy at night. I’ve never been out here except in the daytime. My old bedroom window is shattered, and the house is decrepit. “Why haven’t they torn all that down?” I ask as we pull up. “Turn off your lights so she doesn’t know we’re coming.”
“What difference does it make?”
“I want to scare the shit out of her, that’s what difference it makes.”
We creep up to the bus. “What if she’s not even here?” he asks.
“I can’t think about that.”
The door is broken and stands open. I tiptoe up the three stairs as quietly as possible, peeking over the edge of the half wall, holding my breath. Please be here please be here please be here.
A lump of blankets is pressed against the wall on one of the platforms. I tiptoe over and reach under. Just before I do, my LA mind kicks in and I’m afraid it might be a homeless person, but my hand closes around a small ankle.
She wakes up, yelling at the top of her lungs. “Go away! I’ll hit you with a rock!” Then she sees me. “Suze! You scared me half to death!”
“I scared you?” I snatch off the blankets and grab her, hugging her grasshopper body to me, her hair in my face. Tears spring into my eyes at the smell of her, the safeness of her, the physical reality of her when I thought we might not—
I squeeze my eyes tight. “Holy shit, kid, you scared the hell out of us!”
“Nobody was listening to me,” she says.
“Get your shoes on. Everybody is looking for you and your nana was half out of her mind worrying that a kidnapper had taken you or a moose gored you.”
“I left her a note so she wouldn’t worry!” She shoves her feet into the Crocs she wears constantly.
“Oh, is that right? A note! Well, I don’t know why we were freaked out, then. Oh, wait.” I grab her junk into a ball and point toward the door. “Because you’re ten! You’re not supposed to be out here by yourself.”
She turns around and stands her ground, arms crossed over her chest. “Nobody was listening to me. I don’t want to move to London. It’s my life, too, and I should have a say in this.”
Good for you, kid, I think. Tears well in my eyes. She has fire. She has moxie. She will need them both to live in a world that will try to devour her. I fall on my knees and hug her again, tears in my eyes. “Baby, I was so worried about you. I’m so glad you’re safe.”