“Oh, I bet they do,” I blurted, forgetting myself for a second, and she bit her lip at my suggestive words. Shit. Fucking. Hell.
Maria innocently tipped one shoulder as she shared, “I love being a mother, you know that. And running Natalia’s catering business is great. But I feel like there’s this void inside me still. I’ve been searching for my thing for years, and I haven’t found it.”
“A ‘thing,’ huh?” I poked back in a teasing tone. “Tell me more about this thing you need.”
Maria rolled her eyes. “Be serious.”
“I am.” Now I am, at least. Because if finding a new man was going to be her “thing,” I’d more than likely lose my mind.
“In the meantime, while I figure myself out, why not have some fun, you know?” There went her other shoulder. A not-so-innocent lift this time because she’d followed it with the word fun in relation to dating. “I need to get back on the horse, as the saying goes.”
The blood drained from my face. “I don’t want to think about you on any horses. Literal or metaphorical.”
“No?” Her lips twitched as if fighting a smile.
Did she find me funny? I was serious, dammit. I crowded her personal space even more, but she didn’t back away. “You could break your neck riding a real horse.”
“And the other kind?” Oh, she was trying to get a rise out of me.
My little fireball. “Someone else’s neck will get broken,” I shared in a steady voice, letting her know I wasn’t joking.
“And you promised you’d behave when I started dating.”
She still thought I was joking. I hadn’t made myself clear, had I? But she didn’t know about my past, so why would she take me seriously? “I promised I wouldn’t”—I looked at her sweet daughter, not wanting to discuss murder in front of her—“put your date six feet under.” I said nothing about breaking bones.
“You’d never really hurt anyone. You’re all talk. You might look like some tough guy, but I see how you are with my daughter. You’re a softy.”
I stepped back and pointed to Chiara in her arms, my heart pounding. “For her, I’m who she needs me to be.”
“And who is that, exactly?” She lifted her chin, not backing down from her stubbornness to always press my buttons. She’d been relentless in pushing me to my limits since her birthday, ever since I opened my big mouth and admitted the truth, that I wanted her.
“Her friend. Her protector,” I said in a hoarse voice, dying to add father to that list.
“And tonight, her babysitter?”
This is a test, isn’t it? And if I failed, she’d move out in November. If I didn’t prove I could handle this, I’d lose her for good, I could feel it in my bones. But my dumb ass blurted, “So you can get laid?”
“Baby ears,” she snapped out. “And it’s just dinner.”
My gaze fell to her chest, partially hidden by her squirmy daughter playing with her bracelets. “Then why the sexy bra if no one will see it?”
“You saw it,” she remarked, and when I looked at her, I saw the stain of embarrassment on her cheeks, as if she hadn’t meant to verbalize that thought.
“Dah-dah.” Chiara extended her arms for me, and Maria hesitantly handed her back.
“Who is he?” I asked, doing my best to maintain my control, knowing it was becoming increasingly impossible to do.
She fixed her bracelets in place, keeping her eyes away from me as she answered, “I met him at a catering job last week. It was for his company. We were talking while I was there, and he asked me for my number. We’ve been texting this past week, and tonight we’re going to dinner. And since I don’t have another night off until next weekend, I don’t want to cancel at the last minute, and I—”
“This man ate my food? And you’ve been texting?” My stomach dropped, all the way down to the seventh circle of hell where the soul of Bianca’s murderer lived for all of eternity.
“Enzo, you wanted to just be my friend, so be my friend. Okay? Prove to me we really can make this work.”
Friend. I repeated the word a few more times in my head, trying to digest it. My idea or not, I hated the thought of just being her friend.
My chin went to the top of Chiara’s head as I mulled over how to communicate my desire for her to stay home and never date again. Had I really boxed myself into a new kind of hell, one where I watched her fall in love with someone else?