“That’s messed up, you know that, right?” I cut him off. “We shouldn’t miss that life.”
“The way you’re throwing a ‘we’ has me shocked, bro. I thought you didn’t miss anything about New York.” He took a moment to drain his water bottle in a few deep gulps. “Well, aside from us. I mean, you miss us, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I miss you guys. But my being here and living a normal, so-called healthy life makes Mom and Izzy happy.”
“You’re Mom’s baby boy. Her favorite. She never pushed me to move from the city and start new.”
“Screw you, man,” I teased. “Mom just felt bad for me.”
“We all lost a sister, not just you,” Alessandro shot back, and yeah, of course I knew that, but it was different for me in a way that I couldn’t explain. A twin thing, I supposed.
“Anyway,” he said, realizing we both needed a subject change before our moods went dark. “Tell me about the whole you-playing-the-role-of-Mrs.-Doubtfire thing.”
I stood and went to the window and opened the blinds, allowing the morning sun to wash the room in natural light.
“Because it sounds like you’re the one needing to get laid, brother.”
“Oh, really? And meaningless sex is doing wonders at fixing your life, I see,” I punched back, eyes still on the window.
Alessandro waited for me to look back at the camera before responding, “Pretty sure it wouldn’t be meaningless for you.”
Yeah, he was right about that.
“So tell me. Is her date still alive? Need help taking care of him? I can bail on the meeting with Constantine later and hop down there for an assist if you need one.”
My brother really did miss the hunt, didn’t he? And part of me did, too. I just didn’t want to admit it, and certainly not to him on this call.
“Well?” he prompted when I’d yet to reply.
I thought back to last night when I’d done some digging on Maria’s date, and the man had been boring but safe. “He’s no longer in the picture, but only because she wasn’t interested.”
“Because she wants you. And you want her.”
I turned away from the window, remembering my conversation with Maria before and after Thomas’s untimely arrival. “Even if I tell her everything, I’ll screw up at some point. I don’t know how to be who she needs,” I admitted. “And I don’t want to hurt her.” Plus, who’s to say she’ll even want me now that she knows I’m a killer?
“First of all,” Alessandro began, his brows snapping together, “like, ‘tell her everything’ as in everything?” The best I could do was nod, so he continued. “Second, you’d never hurt her. That’s a nonissue.”
“Not physically. You know damn well what I’m talking about. Just because you act like you don’t have a heart doesn’t mean—”
“Sorry, man. Constantine is beeping in. I should take this.”
“Yeah, sure. You hanging up with me to get your ass chewed out by him? Likely story.” We all had our hard limits when it came to topics of conversation, and Alessandro discussing his own personal demons was never up for discussion.
The man didn’t think he had a heart. My problem? I only had half of one.
Alessandro mumbled something too low to hear, then added, “Just do us all a favor and shit or get off the pot. It’s now or never, man. Either be with her or go find someone new to distract yourself with. At the very least, you need a blow job before you blow up.”
“Great advice, asshole. Fuck you very much.” I waved my hand at the screen, motioning for him to go. “Later.” I ended the call and chucked the phone onto my bed.
Alessandro was right about one thing. I was hanging on the edge of my sanity.
My thoughts drifted back to Maria and the way her body had quickly responded to my touch, with her coming hard on my fingers as they were buried deep inside her pussy.
Fuck. My cock went hard at the memory, and I adjusted myself, realizing I’d never survive the day without relief. I needed to get off before I lost all self-control.
But Maria deserved to know the truth before deciding if she could truly love a man like me. And I needed time to be sure there wasn’t a chance I’d break her heart.
SIX
Enzo
“WHAT WAS HER NUMBER?” I remembered roaring, demanding to know how many lives the bastard had taken.
His eyes had been cold and dead as he’d blankly stared at me, refusing to answer. I’d wrapped my hand tighter around his throat. “What was her fucking number?” I’d seethed, dragging the knife in my other hand down his sternum.