“Well… he’s a kind soul.”
That’s the first kind thing I’ve heard anyone say about him in a while. Lev doesn’t meet new people anymore. I made that decision early on after the accident. Or rather, Lev had made the decision for me. Each of the few instances we did manage to get him out of the estate ended in disaster. Something would happen, Lev would react, and then other people would react to him. They’d point and stare; some would laugh; others would yell.
Strangers can muster up patience and compassion for a child, but Lev is not that in their eyes. He is the grown, unhinged man who snatched a stuffed rabbit toy from a toddler and refused to give it back. He is the hulking brute who started sobbing hysterically because someone popped a balloon ten feet away. He is the scarred, hunched, frightened twenty–two-year-old who starts screaming in fear when a random stranger brushes too close past him.
No one sees the broken child inside that huge, tortured body.
And even if they could…
They wouldn’t understand the first fucking thing about him.
Eventually, I realized that our outings were doing more harm than good. He took days to recover from them and, even after the dust settled, he’d walk a little slower, talk a little quieter—as though he was the one who had something to be ashamed of.
“He’s a kind soul,” I echo gruffly. “Yeah. Not everyone sees that.”
She chews on her bottom lip. “He was really agitated when he first saw me.”
I nod. “He’s not used to people he doesn’t know. And when he has been exposed to them… well, they haven’t been very nice to him.”
Alyssa blinks away sudden tears. “That’s horrible.”
“He doesn’t usually take to anyone as fast as he did with you. Especially when there’s no familiar buffer around to mediate the situation.”
She smiles with just a tint of pride. “We played video games.” Then, as if remembering who she’s talking to, her eyebrows arrow downward. “But I’m sure you already knew that.”
“It was going well. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
She shakes her head. “Such a creep.”
“It’s my job to look after my brother.”
Her eyes pique up with realization as she glances around the upper corners of the basement. “The cameras… You installed them for Lev?”
I nod. “After he has an episode, he doesn’t talk. He recedes into himself and stays down here for days until he’s worked the trauma of the experience out of his system.”
She’s back to chewing on her lip. Her voice, when it comes out, is tentative and wary. “Uri… what happened?”
I wince. It’s a fair question. But the thing is, I don’t talk about Lev with strangers. The necessary staff and security and Bratva personnel have a dry account of his condition, but it lacks details and emotion. If they have any affection for him at all, it comes from a place of professionalism. He’s a job first, a person second.
Which has worked all these years.
But here she is, this blonde bombshell who has no freaking clue that that’s exactly what she is, and she’s asking me to tell her one of my most protected secrets?
My first instinct is to lie. It’s just easier that way, especially since I’m not planning on having her here for very much longer.
But I can’t get the image of her and Lev out of my head. Every time I blink, I see them on the floor, peeking at each other from between their parted fingers. It’s not a connection he has made often.
Or at all.
And it feels selfish, even cruel, to lie to her now. Perhaps, in order to get her to trust me, I need to show her that I trust her.
It begs the question; when was the last time I trusted anyone outside of my inner circle? Am I making a huge mistake by trusting her?
Am I going to look back at this moment one day and think, That’s where it all went wrong?
Only one way to find out.
25
ALYSSA
Uri’s usually unreadable mask cracks for a split second. His eyes darken, his brow furrows, and his right hand clenches into a fist.
For the first time, I stop thinking about the politics. I forget about the fact that I’m his captive and he’s my jailer. I choose to ignore the complicated, irreparably fucked-up dynamics between us.
Instead, I speak from the heart.
“Uri… I know I’ve only just met Lev, but I do care about him. And I would never do or say anything to hurt him.”
His gaze meets mine. If he chooses not to tell me Lev’s story, I won’t push him. Because I get it. I understand the need to want to protect someone you love at any cost.