Polly’s words float back to me unbidden. You need something of your own. Something that feeds your soul.
What if Alyssa is what I need?
With my eyes fixated on her, I start touching myself, imagining how incredible it would feel to storm in that basement right now, throw that book to the side so I can thrust inside her. Fuck her until her breasts bounce right out of that silver slip she’s wearing.
Every time I see her, I feel the need to unleash some deep-held part of myself. I want to mark her with my teeth, my cock, my gaze, until she can’t even think of moving on. Until she’s as convinced of the fact that she’s mine as I seem to be.
Blyat’。
She turns onto her stomach and I’m offered a perfect view of her ass. Her slip slides up just enough that I can see the juicy curves of her cheeks. From this vantage point, it doesn’t look like she’s wearing underwear.
I start pumping my cock harder, all the time, resisting the urge to just go down there and get the real thing. My hand is nowhere near as soft, wet, or tight as she is. I’m missing her warmth, her scent, her soft skin sliding over my own.
Somewhere in the midst of my frantic jerking, I let myself consider the possibility of having her stay for good. The only question is… would she want to?
She turns a page and her slip rides up even higher. She has the most beautiful ass I’ve ever seen. It’s just begging to be ridden, slapped, kissed, and licked. I can imagine how she’d moan if I pushed inside her. Those lips parting to let loose the softest, meekest mewl that’s ever been—
Fuuuck.
I come in my hand, my heart galloping hard inside my chest. The moment I wipe away the cum, the cold reality of my fantasies hit me.
Of course she can’t stay.
Of course I can’t fucking keep her.
It’s ridiculous to even go there. I need to get a grip and focus on what’s really important. My Bratva. My family. My responsibilities.
But even as I shut down the camera feed, I can’t help thinking that Polina might just be onto something. If I’m going to be everything for everyone all the time, I need something to feed my soul.
And she just might be it.
45
ALYSSA
I never thought I’d look forward to a Monday morning so much.
Yet here I am, waiting by the door for the inevitable bolt that will release me from my dark prison. I keep checking the clock on the wall. He’s late today.
It’s half past eight now and there’s still no sign of anyone. I don’t even hear footsteps when I press my ear to the door.
He’s just caught up with something. He’ll be here. He’ll let me out.
But when ten o’clock rolls around, my hope starts to dwindle. Where is Uri? Or Svetlana? Or Lev?
I end up banging my fists against the door and yelling to no one in particular, “Hey! Can anyone hear me? Let me outta here!”
Nothing.
I eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast and snack on some fruit until around midday. I’m in the bathroom when I hear the bolt being released.
Fucking finally.
I’m so relieved I could cry. But when I wash up and get out there, there’s no one around. What the hell? And then I see the tray sitting just in front of the door. It’s a full tray of lunch… and the door is still locked.
Which means I’m not getting out of this basement today.
“No,” I breathe in a panic. “No, no, no…”
I jump over the tray and try to yank the door open. It doesn’t budge an inch. A desperate sob escapes me and I slide to the floor as my tears come loose.
Why isn’t he letting me out? The weekend is over. This was never part of the deal. Did it have something to do with the last time he came in here?
He was clearly upset, looking for something. I didn’t push him for answers or explanations, though; I just got down on my knees and gave him what I thought he needed. Did I completely misread the situation? Had I gotten too close and he’s pulling the classic fuckboy maneuver of keeping his distance now?
I’m still shaking even after I stop crying. The disappointment is so deep that it takes a while before I can even stand. I ignore the tray of food and start pacing the basement, looking for something, anything, that might give me some direction and help me to re-focus.
My eyes pass over the gaming console but I don’t want to have to deal with another drawn-out typing conversation with Elle. I need to be able to hear her voice. Which is how I end up rifling through Lev’s gaming boxes, hoping to find a pair of headphones I can use.
I hit the jackpot in the third drawer. The headphones look like they’ve been through the wringer but I’m hoping to God they work for me now. I switch the screen on and type in my username and password.