ALYSSA: youre right.
LIAM: duh. But I also know what it’s like to be in the throes of something new and exciting. And if anyone deserves a torrid, whirlwind romance, it’s you!
LIAM: Which is why I will forgive you for missing my bridal shower.
ALYSSA: Bless you.
LIAM: BUT—I need you at my wedding, Alyssa. I can’t get married without my maid of honor.
I feel horrible, especially because I’m pretty sure the next words I type are gonna be a lie. But I type them anyway.
ALYSSA: Wouldn’t dream of it.
LIAM: Don’t fall off the face of the planet again, k? I get worried when I don’t hear from you.
ALYSSA: ill message again soon. Thanks Elle.
LIAM: And remember—you deserve a real, full, loving relationship. Anything less and you need to walk away. No matter how hot the guy. No matter how great the sex.
ALYSSA: ill keep that in mind. Love you.
LIAM: Love you too. Xoxoxo.
It’s good advice. Great advice, in fact.
I just hope I’m strong enough to take it.
44
URI
“I can drive you myself.”
Polly smiles. “So you keep saying. But it’s a two-hour drive there and a two-hour drive back. You’ve got more important things to do.”
I narrow my eyes. “There is nothing more important than you.”
“What about Lev?” It might almost be misconstrued as a snotty question if she didn’t sound so sincere. She seems to realize that a moment later, because she rushes to explain herself. “What I mean is, Lev needs you more than I do. I’m not resentful or anything. It’s just a matter of fact.”
She’s right—but I still hate that she’s had to sacrifice so much to accommodate him. “Polly, you’re just as important to me as Lev is.”
“That is so not what I meant.”
“I know that,” I say quickly, putting my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry.”
She takes a little breath but I’m not sure it steadies her the way she was hoping. “I really don’t resent Lev, you know,” she mumbles.
I meet her eyes. “It’s okay if you did, though.” She opens her mouth to say something but I keep going. “And that doesn’t mean you don’t love him. It just means you’re fourteen and you’re human and you’re allowed to want things to be about you from time to time. That’s permitted, Pol.”
She looks at me uncertainly for a moment. Then she exhales noisily. “Thanks for that.”
I smile. “Have I told you lately that you’re an amazing sister?”
She blushes. “I don’t really do anything.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t complain. You don’t create trouble for me. You don’t argue and you don’t make everything about you.”
Her smile gets a little wider as I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. She’s thin and gangly but I can see in her face the outlines of the woman she’s well on her way to becoming.
“You’re a great big brother, ya know?”
“Oh, I know.”
She laughs and mock-punches me in the chest. I walk her to the door where her bag is being loaded into the back of the bulletproof SUV that’s designated exclusively for her use.
“Why isn’t Lev allowed down to the basements during weekends?” Polly asks abruptly. She raises one eyebrow. “Or is it just the weekends I’m here? He told me about it. He wasn’t happy.”
Fucking hell. Just when I choose to place my bets that Lev doesn’t open up about much, he goes and proves me wrong in the most inconvenient way possible. “It’s not every weekend. It’s just on days when he gets really anxious.”
“I would have thought being out of the basement would make him more anxious, not less.”
The girl is too smart by half. I’m going to have to think of another plan soon. Summer is just around the corner and that means Polly’s going to be here for months. There’s no way I’ll be able to keep Alyssa from her for that long unless I make alternate arrangements for my problematic little prisoner.
“He’s been having nightmares lately. It helps to have him sleep close to me just in case he needs me in the night.”
“Oh.” Her face drops. “What kind of nightmares?”
I feel like an asshole for lying to her about this. But it’s a necessary evil, a sin that I have to commit in order to protect her from… all the rest of it.
“Nightmares about the accident, as far as I can tell. He doesn’t like to talk about it.”