Her hand flexes against my chest. It’s all she can do with how tight I’m holding her.
“A part of me knew it. I knew she was miserable, and no matter what I did, she’d always be miserable. But it was still hard, ya know? Because she set those there for me to find.” I feel her shake her head. “I’d been used to being on my own, but once she died… I really was.”
“I hate her,” I repeat.
Val’s exhale tickles my chest hair. “The second funeral I ever went to was my mom’s. And it turns out everyone else that knew her hated her, too. Because it was just me and the priest. Or, well, funeral director, I think.”
“You had a funeral?” I furrow my brows. “Should’ve just fed her to the alligators.”
Valentine snorts. “First, gross. Second, I was a stupid nineteen-year-old. I thought you had to have a funeral.”
“You planned it?” I can’t hide the shock in my voice. But I don’t know why I’m surprised. Like she said, there was no one else in her mom’s life that would’ve done it.
“Unintentionally. I called 9-1-1 when I found her, and the ball just kinda started rolling on its own. Her body was brought to a funeral home. The director called me and asked what I wanted to do with the remains and if I wanted to do the service in their hall. I just kept answering questions, and before I knew it, there was a funeral.” I make a mental note to look up this funeral director because if he’s still alive, I’m putting him in his own incinerator. “And then her landlord was demanding payment for rent she was behind on and that I deal with moving all her stuff out.” I add landlord to my list.
“You paid for all that, didn’t you?”
“It was the second thing I spent my money on,” she admits, and I curse again. “I was worried I’d get in trouble with King over spending it on my mom. But he never said anything, so I figured he didn’t know.”
“Wait.” I pull back a little. “What do you mean?”
She leans her head back to look up at me. “What do you mean what do I mean?”
“You said you were at the funeral alone. Why wasn’t King there?”
Val tries to lift a shoulder, but I’m holding her too tightly. “Why would he be? I didn’t expect him and Aspen to actually come when I invited them. Their family didn’t exactly like my mom.”
“So fucking what? He’s your brother!”
She shakes her head. “No, Dominic, it’s okay.”
“It’s not fucking okay. Don’t make excuses for him. You told him your mom fucking died, and he left you to deal with her suicide alone.” I’m mad. I’m so fucking mad. My sweet, precious little Valentine didn’t have a single person to count on.
“Dom.” Her tone is soft as she tries to comfort me. “It wasn’t like that. I don’t even think he knew how she died.”
“You didn’t tell him when you told him about the funeral?”
“Well.” She dips her chin so she’s back to looking at my chest. “I left a message.”
“Say that again,” I growl.
“I only had his office number. I left a message with his assistant.”
“And he never called you back.” I don’t ask it. She, at nineteen, left a message for her brother telling him her final living parent had died, and he never even called her back.
He’s going to pay for that.
“Don’t be mad at him.” She tries to defend her piece-of-shit brother.
“None of that is okay, Valentine.” I don’t care if he has the power of the free world at his back. I’m going to hurt him.
“It’s in the past. We’re okay now.”
“If you were okay, tonight wouldn’t have been your first birthday party.” I stroke a hand up her back. “What happened after the funeral?”
“I came home and went back to school. And that next summer, King invited me over to have dinner with him and Aspen.”
“And you went?”
“I went.”
“Why?” I can’t imagine letting all that go.
“Because I wanted a family.”
My eyes close.
I fucking hate them all.
Valentine deserves a life full of gold, and all she got was ashes.
“Ask me about the third funeral I went to,” she whispers.
“I don’t want to,” I say truthfully.
Val moves her arm from between us so she can wrap it around my waist, hugging me back. “The third funeral I ever went to was for your cousin.”