But I’m close, Claire. You’ve seen me at some low points these last few weeks, and I’ve shared things with you I’ve never told anyone. And while I realize much of it has been here, rather than spoken in person, it’s a step closer than I’ve ever taken. Taking you to my hometown, introducing you to my parents, and showing you where I grew up is the most significant of it all.
I can’t help but wonder if that will be the final piece that puts my heart back together. If so, know that it will be all yours, whether I can tell you or not.
I hope you want it as much as I want you to have it.
Graham
21
Claire spent the next morning vegging out in front of the television with Gertrude and Graham’s dad while Graham hung out with his mom.
His dad made a damn good cup of coffee, and it was a lovely morning. Exactly how she loved spending Sundays.
Graham came out of his mom’s room at one point and seemed to stop for a few seconds to take in the scene: she and Gertrude lounging on the love seat while his dad stretched out on the recliner beside her. The corners of his mouth tipped up and the expression on his face just looked so…full.
That look made her heart ache, and she wasn’t sure if it was from pleasure or pain. Coming here had been a conscious decision and one she knew was a big deal. But she’d also told herself to tread carefully. Getting too attached to Graham would be a mistake of epic proportions.
Last night, against her better judgment, she’d thrown that viewpoint out the window. After the run-in with Angela the rest of the night had felt very date-ish, and instead of pulling back she’d leaned into it hard.
She’d loved how Graham was attentive in a way he wasn’t on the regular. Or maybe he always had been and she just hadn’t thought about it in a romantic sense.
After dinner they’d stopped at an ice cream shop and shared a cone while sitting on a bench, stealing sugar-laden kisses under the stars. They drove to his old high school and walked around while he told her more memories from his teenage years and paused to make out under the bleachers. After they got back to his parents’ house and slid into bed, they met in the middle, and the way he kissed her had felt different. He’d held her face and traced her cheeks and lips with his fingers in a way that felt reverent, like she meant more to him than he let on. As if she was precious and adored.
In the darkness, she’d let go of her fear and hesitation. She’d given in and let herself feel him, soaking up each kiss, each touch, as if he was the oxygen to her fire. It had felt as if they’d laid down their swords and lowered their barriers to let each other in completely.
It had been their most incredible night together yet, and in the light of the morning she realized how comfortable she was becoming with this whole situation. She could get used to the regular attention of a man as incredible as Graham, and therein lay the problem. That wasn’t the deal.
The deal: companionship and sex.
She wanted children someday, with a father who would be around and committed to staying that way.
She’d fallen off course in her search for that, just like she’d told Mia she feared might happen. She had to remember she and Graham were friends who had hooked up and nothing more. Being here with him in Santa Fe with his family and away from their day-to-day lives had made it easy to forget.
Just as she promised herself she’d send Matt the dentist a message when they got back, Graham’s dad interrupted her thoughts.
“So you and Graham are roommates, right?”
She pushed thoughts of the dating app out of her mind and focused on the kind man next to her with salt-and-pepper hair and laugh lines around his eyes. If this was how Graham would look in twenty years…well, she wouldn’t be mad about it. “Yep. It’s been about a year, now. He wanted a place with lower rent and we were looking for a new roommate. Worked out perfectly.”
“Ah.” His dad pressed his lips together in a small, knowing smile that somehow still seemed sad. “That’s when Nancy started her new injection. Insurance pays for some of it, but it’s still several hundred dollars a month out of pocket. Graham insists on paying for it.”
Claire’s heart squeezed with affection. What was he doing to her? “Wow. That’s…really sweet of him.”
“We’re lucky to have him as a son.”
“He is pretty great. However, I feel it’s my duty to inform you he’s not the perfect roommate.”
His dad chuckled. “Wasn’t so great when he lived here, either. The shoes?”