He’d never forgive me.
It was too soon.
Carl grabbed my hands. “Is this not good news?”
Why did he sound so pleased?
Had the sound of his voice always irritated me?
“It’s not that. Of course, it’s not that. I’m thrilled. A part of me wondered if I’d ever be able to get pregnant. It’s just, Finn and I are so new to dating, and I don’t know if he’s ready for all of this. He’s leaving for Tokyo tomorrow. I-I just don’t know what he’ll think.”
“I’m here for you, Reese. I’d raise this baby with you if you asked me to.”
What?
That made me cry harder.
This was not how I ever imagined finding out I was pregnant would be. My ex-boyfriend delivering the news and then offering to raise the baby with me because I wasn’t certain that the man I loved would be ready for all of this.
“I’m in love with him, Carl.” I whimpered, and he held my hands from across the table, and I saw the tears streaming down his face.
My God, I’d made a mess of everything.
“Why are you crying?” I asked as I tried to pull myself together.
“Because I just realized right now that I’ve lost you forever.”
I pulled my hands away to swipe at my face, and I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to come here and tell me this. I’m sorry that I’m falling apart in front of you. This is just all wrong for so many reasons.”
“Don’t be silly. I would do anything for you.” He held his hands up and sniffed. “In a friendship type of way. I get it. Your heart belongs to him now. Hell, it probably always did. I just forced the situation by ending things with you. I guess it gave you the time to actually explore those feelings.”
“I guess so.” I nodded, reaching for the napkin and dabbing at my eyes.
“Well, I mean, at least we know you’re not sick. You just have a baby in your belly, which is why you’re so tired. You’ve always wanted to be a mom. And it sounds like you want to be with Finn, so maybe this isn’t so bad.”
“It’s not that it’s bad, Carl. Of course, I want to be a mom, and the idea of having a baby with Finn is amazing—” I looked away because this wasn’t fair to be talking about this with my ex-boyfriend, who was suddenly willing to raise another man’s baby with me after rejecting me for taking the job of my dreams. “It makes me happy to think about, but the timing is tough because we’re still figuring things out, you know?”
“Well, if it helps, I told you that I see the way he looks at you. Hell, I’ve always seen it. I was trying everything I could not to see it, long before you two got together. He’s in love with you, Reesey. I think he always has been.”
I nodded. “I know that he loves me. I don’t doubt that.”
“Then what is it? Just tell him.”
“I don’t want him to be with me for the wrong reasons, Carl. So, I’m asking you as a favor, as a man that I consider my friend after all the years we’ve been together. Please don’t tell anyone. I want Finn to know first, but I’m not ready to tell him. He needs to go on this trip with a clear mind. And we’ll see how he feels once we’ve spent some time apart.”
“Of course. I won’t say a word. And I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you so much,” I said as I pushed to my feet and swiped at my face one last time.
He stood and hugged me. “You’re going to be just fine.”
“I will be. Thank you so much for everything. I’ll see you soon.”
I had to pull myself together before I went home.
I wasn’t ready to tell Finn what was going on.
Because I knew Finn. He’d cancel the trip. He’d worry about me being alone.
I needed to give him this time to make sure that he came back to me because he missed me, not because we were having a child together.
We were having this baby, but I needed to know that he loved me either way.
The way I wanted to be loved.
The way I needed to be loved.
twenty-seven
Finn
I was fucking fuming. I’d left Cage’s house after saying goodbye to everyone, and I drove through downtown and saw Reese’s car parked outside of Cup of Cove. I was going to surprise her and stop in, but the fucking joke was on me.
I’d parked my car and didn’t even make it across the street because there she was, right in front of the window, holding hands and crying with Carl fucking Barley. After everything we’d talked about, this was where she went on my last day home?