“Hooooly shit,” Jake says. “Tess, do you have a thing going with Langley? Isn’t he like ten years younger than you?”
“Age is just a number,” Caleb replies. “He’s hot and she’s horny.”
“And you can go drown in the shower,” I snap at him.
“They’ve had a thing since beach day, way back before you and I were even a thing,” Rachel says at Mars, still petting his hair.
He just makes a grunt sound, curling in closer to her.
“Wait, now I’m confused,” says Jake. “What does Shelbs have to do with any of this?”
I groan, giving Rachel a sheepish look.
Her smile falls, replaced with resignation. “Oh, seriously, what the fuck did you do?”
“Nothing…too terribly bad,” I hedge. “I just need to know if you’ll ask Shelby a favor for me.”
“Tess, just spit it out,” she replies.
“Yeah, I’m losing interest in this fast,” Jake mutters.
“We could already be fucking,” Caleb says at him. “You have no one to blame but yourself.”
“Fine,” Jake huffs. “Tess, tell us what you did last night, or I’m gonna give Cay a handy right here on the bed.”
Taking a deep breath, I look to Rachel and try to get it all out in one go. “I need you to ask Shelby if the camera in the nursery records, or if it’s just live action. And if it is recording, I need you to ask her to just go ahead and erase everything from last night without watching any of it. Okay? Cool. Bye.”
I try to launch off the side of the bed, but Rachel throws herself over Ilmari, snatching at my arm. “Oh, no you don’t,” she cries, jerking me back.
“Ouch—shit—”
Beneath us, Ilmari grunts.
“In the nursery, Tess?” Jake says, his tone laced with disappointment. “Where Baby Josh sleeps?”
“Hey, he wasn’t in there,” I huff. “And it was either that or we do it in the little girl’s room where Drunk Cleopatra was already passed out, or in the guest room where two of your teammates were Eiffel towering your—” My words stop as I realize I was about to give away one of their colleagues.
Jake looks shocked. “How did I miss all this?”
“Because you were too busy outside playing with your hook,” Caleb deadpans from his side.
“Oh, right.”
“Who did you say was Eiffel towering whom?” Caleb asks, moderately curious now.
But Rachel sits forward, saving me from answering. “Wait…Tess,” she says in warning. “Langley? You really went there with him?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I think we were kind of inevitable, you know? Our chemistry is great—”
“Tess,” Rachel says again. “Have you at least told him everything? Does he know about Troy and the pictures and all of it?”
“He knows everything,” I reply with a solemn nod. “I couldn’t lie to him, Rach. I couldn’t hide it. He deserved to know.”
“And he’s…okay with it all?” she asks, one dark brow raised.
“Langers is cool,” Caleb replies for me. “He’s not the kind of guy to let a little psycho ex drama stand in his way.”
“Yeah, he may be a forward, but he’s got the heart of a defenseman,” Jake adds. “In fact, I think he played D for a while in Junior League.”
“If you came here expecting me to play the Tess card, I’m not gonna do it,” Rachel says, crossing her arms in defiance.
“Wait, what’s the Tess card?” Jake asks, glancing between us.
“It’s where Tess makes me channel all her nastiest thoughts and spit them out at her like some kind of mean, painfully poignant truth-teller,” she replies.
“Rach, you’re my mirror,” I beg. “I need you to give me the hard truths. It’s the only way I can keep perspective.”
“No, it’s the only way you keep yourself locked into this delusion that you only deserve shitty things,” she counters. “And I’m not doing it.”
“I feel like I’m missing so much right now,” says Jake, his gaze darting between us.
“Tess’s brain is at war with her heart, which has been hijacked by her vagina,” Caleb summarizes for him. “She wants Rachel to dunk her heart and her vagina in an ice bath so her brain can take charge again.”
Rachel snorts. “Honestly, I think I prefer his way. We’ve got bags of ice and a tub big enough to dunk you. Wanna try that?”