“My dad is getting married,” I whisper, almost choking on the words, “and he only wants me there for the magazine exclusive, so we don’t look like we’re a family at war.”
“Fuck your dad.” His hands cup my face as he leans back to look right at me. “You don’t have to let him keep burning you, sweetheart.”
My bottom lip wobbles. “I just want to be wanted.”
“You are. Let’s both stay. Let me show you how wanted you are.”
“I like who I am when I’m with you, but what if you leave too? Who am I going to be then?”
“Do you trust me?” he asks, still cupping my face gently.
Even with the tears still running down my face, I nod. I do trust him. I’m also scared.
“I’m not going anywhere, but you don’t need me, Aurora. You’re strong and sweet and funny. You’re smart and affectionate and you’re all those things without me. You don’t need anyone but yourself, but you can have me anyway. I worry I’m going to fuck this up, too, but we have to trust ourselves as much as we trust each other.”
“I can’t fold my shorts like you can.”
“Exactly,” he says, resting his forehead against mine. “So don’t go. Don’t run away from the place that makes you feel at home. From the family you chose.”
Russ’s lips meet mine, soft and gentle, like I might break if he’s too rough with me. His fingers dance up my spine and, notch by notch, the tension eases out of my body. I wrap my arms around his neck, sinking into him, rolling my hips against where we’re joined.
“Please show me how much you want me,” I whisper. “I need to replace all the bad feelings. You make me feel good.”
If I wasn’t so distracted by my crumbling life, I’d have more time to be impressed by how easily Russ stands from the floor with me around him. My suitcase crashes against the floor as he knocks it off the bed, lowering me carefully onto the mattress, climbing on top of me.
The weight of his body on mine does more to kill the anxiety rolling through me like waves than anything else. He tugs off his t-shirt and waits while I run my hands down his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath my palms. Mine comes off next, followed by my shorts and his. There are layers of fabric between us, but the pressure of him between my legs makes goosebumps spread down my body.
He kisses my forehead. “I want everything about you, Aurora.” My nose is next. “I want your smiles.” Then my jaw. “Your laughs.” My collarbone. “I want the way you ramble when you’re nervous.” The top of my breast. “I want your big reactions and your little ones.” The center of my stomach. “I want to watch you get frustrated at origami but carry on anyway because it makes you so happy.” My naval. “I want to protect you from possums and sharks and, sometimes, when you need it, yourself.” Finally, my hipbone. “And I want to want you because you’re worth it, sweetheart. And you make me feel good too.”
He sits up when I do, letting me smash my mouth into his, pouring as much into it as I can. His hands grip my neck, keeping me in place.
And that’s when Jenna shouts my name from outside of my cabin.
And the door begins to open before I can shout wait.
Chapter Thirty-One
AURORA
There have been many times in my life when I’ve been caught doing something that I shouldn’t.
When I was seven at my grandparents’ house when I pushed Elsa into the pool for telling me I was left behind by aliens.
When I was twelve and I was supposed to be in detention for punching the kid punching other kids, but I went to hang out at the mall because it felt like an unfair punishment. That one was double bad because I wasn’t allowed to go to the mall yet either.
When I was fifteen and got high for the first time in the pool house, a very poor choice of location, especially as Mom was home and found me immediately.
When I was seventeen and the paparazzi took pictures of me stumbling out of a nightclub I was too young to be in, totally wasted, with Connor James, the son of Dad’s work nemesis.
Basically anything I did with Connor James, I shouldn’t have been doing. Yacht crashing excluded, because I still maintain that one wasn’t my fault.
As bad as those times were, nothing really happened. Eyes were rolled, disparaging looks were given and maybe a short lecture on personal safety, but I knew nothing would happen and that’s why I did it and why I continued to do it.
Jenna’s eyes widen as she fills the doorway.