“Maybe.” I yawn. “I might need to work up to that.”
“Maybe you can start by telling me.”
“Fiona Nelson.” I scratch the top of Harriet’s head. “Nelson was Ozzie and Harriet’s last name on The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. And Fiona, well, you know where that comes from.”
“She would’ve appreciated the nod.”
“I think so.”
“You know, I’ve never understood why you named the dogs after that old TV show.”
“My parents used to watch reruns of it all the time. Nana Rosie too.” I smile at the memory. “Ozzie and Harriet was the first television portrayal of the American family. They were this perfect real-life family of four, with the kinds of problems that could be solved in under thirty minutes. They laughed together and at one another, but they always worked everything out. I think my parents wanted us to be like the Nelsons. I think, to some degree, I wanted that for you and me too.”
I’ve never said anything like that about my marriage out loud. Not to Chelsey or Jackie. Not even to my therapist. What’s even more surprising than making the admission is how relatively calm I feel about having said it. No instant wave of regret. No anxiety gripping my throat. Just me. Me and Smith in his parents’ house, back where we started.
“I’m sorry we weren’t like the Nelsons,” he says softly.
“That’s OK. The Nelsons weren’t even like the TV version of their family.” I sigh. “I watched a documentary in middle school where the family talked about how hard it was to keep up the perfect family image that everyone expected from them. So in a way, it’s a good thing we didn’t end up like them.”
My phone buzzes in the pocket of my cardigan. I want to ignore it. I want to stay in this little muddy bubble for as long as humanly possible because I know I’ll never get it back. Smith and I will never be alone in his parents’ house again. Next week, this place will continue to morph into a vacation rental, and eventually, it will be sold to a new family. A small piece of my childhood will be lost again forever, and I’m just not ready to let it go.
“You going to get that?” Smith asks.
I’m about to tell him no when the front door swings open. Heels click against the marble floor, and instantly I know exactly who it is and exactly how not well this is going to go.
“Sarah.” Smith starts to get up.
Her face is red, like she’s been crying. God, I hate making people cry, unless they deserve it. She, unfortunately, doesn’t deserve it. She gawks at me, which could possibly be because I’m covered in manure and not just that I’m sitting on the kitchen floor next to her boyfriend with an engagement ring.
“Your dad just collapsed.” Sarah gasps for air. “He’s on his way to the hospital.”
“Oh my god. What happened?” I jump to my feet.
“We were waiting for you both to come back for dessert, and everyone was arguing again. You guys fight a lot. Like, way more than what’s probably normal. Nobody could decide whether to eat or wait, and then he just sort of collapsed.”
“Oh my god.” My heart freezes in my chest.
“Wait, what do you mean, He’s on his way to the hospital?” Smith asks. “I never heard an ambulance.”
“He wouldn’t let us call one.” She covers her face with her hands. “Silvia drove him. Everyone except for Martin left. He and I stayed to find you two, and honestly, I kind of wish he was the one that found you both.”
“I can call us a car,” Smith says. “Penny, go get changed.”
I’m out the door before he’s finished giving me the direction. For the second time tonight, I race across the street. My feet thud against the pavement so hard it makes my teeth rattle. Just as I make it to my parents’ driveway, my phone buzzes, and this time I answer it.
“Penny.” Phoebe’s voice is frantic. “Penny, oh my god, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Where the hell have you been?”
“What’s wrong with Dad?”
“I don’t know.” She sobs into the phone. “We’re at the ER and some nurses just took him back. He wasn’t breathing right, and his skin was all gray and clammy. Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I just need to change and I’ll be there. OK?”
“Penny, I need you now.” She gasps. “I’m in the bathroom having a complete fucking breakdown. I can’t be the one to hold everything together right now.”