I can’t be mad at her for not knowing who the Spice Girls are. Not when I’m wearing her dress—a dress that happens to be from Target, not Forever 21—and her shoes.
“It means I don’t want to steal your boyfriend.” I glance over my shoulder at Martin. “I’ve already got a pretty decent one.”
Even if he isn’t real.
She moves aside and holds the door open for me. “For the record, I didn’t undress in front of him.”
“You’re a solid chick, Sarah,” I say. “I’ll bring your clothes back to you ASAP.”
Phoebe and Falon are still visiting with Dad when I make my way back into the lobby. Martin and Smith swap places as lookout, and Martin offers to find me a cup of coffee. I want to go with him. I want to thank him for coordinating all this, but he’s in the elevator heading toward the cafeteria before I have a chance to say anything at all. Maybe I’m reading too much into things, but it almost felt like he didn’t want to talk to me. Like getting coffee was as much of an excuse for him to have some space as it was to get me some caffeine. Not that I need any caffeine at this point. My body is buzzing with adrenaline.
I take a seat next to Nana Rosie in the lobby. She’s sipping a cup of tea that smells a lot like bathwater and socks. “How are you holding up, Nana?”
“I’m all right, all things considered. Your father is a tough old bird. He’s going to be OK.” She squeezes my hand. “How are you holding up? You smell a hell of a lot better.”
“Thanks to you guys,” I say.
“Thanks to Martin.”
“Right.”
“You know, I’m no romance writer, but there’s something terribly romantic about a man who’s not afraid to bend the rules or look like a fool for the people he cares about.”
“Yeah.” A crooked smile takes shape on my face. “Though I’m not sure how much is Martin caring for me and how much is Martin being a genuinely great guy.”
“Maybe it’s both.”
Maybe.
“Penny, Nana,” Phoebe calls from across the lobby. “You’re up.” She nods toward the hallway where my father’s room is. “They’re taking him back in fifteen minutes.”
“Come on, Nana.” I hold my hand out for her to take, but she shakes her head no. “What’s wrong?”
“You go on your own, dear,” she says. “I’ll see him when he gets out of surgery.”
“But Nana, what if something happens?”
“It won’t.”
“But—”
“Penelope, I’ve had seventy-six years to tell your father that I love him, and he’s had just as long to tell me.” She pauses. “I’ve said everything I could ever need to say. The two of you have not.”
I don’t argue the point with her. She’s right. There’s enough unsaid between my father and me to fill the pages of an anthology. I can’t possibly say all of it now, but at least I can make a start.
“I’ll let him know you’ll see him after surgery, Nana,” I say. “Do you want me to tell him anything else?”
“No more doughnuts,” she says, before turning her attention to an old copy of People magazine. “I’d add no more cigars, but I don’t want to destroy his will to live.”
“No more doughnuts it is.”
My father doesn’t look like a man who just had a heart attack. He looks like he’s napping on the chaise in the den on Sunday morning after brunch. There should be copies of the Sunday New York Times and Wall Street Journal draped over his chest, rustling with the rise and fall of his breath. The crossword from the local paper should be on the end table next to him, perfectly completed in black ink.
I lean over his bedside and kiss the top of his balding head. A smirk spreads across my face as I think about how he’d say his hairline is receding, not balding. Old men and action heroes bald, Penelope, he’d always say. My hair is simply adjusting to its current market conditions. I watch his breathing while a nurse takes note of the numbers on his monitors.
“Can he hear me?” I ask her.
“Sure. He’s not in a coma,” she replies. “But he is heavily sedated.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t expected for him to not be alert. “Do you know if he’ll remember anything that I say to him?”
“I’m not sure.” The nurse’s voice is as soft as velvet. “In my experience, most people don’t remember what their loved ones said, but they can tell that they were here. You can see it in their vitals.” She points to the monitors next to him. “Since you came in, his heart rate is steadier than when his last visitors left.”