He hesitates. “You can talk to me about that stuff, you know.”
My nails dig into my palms. “You’ve made it pretty clear that you’d rather…keep it all separate.”
“And that’s okay with you?”
I swallow as I meet his eye. “Obviously, it isn’t a situation that will work long term for my kids. We’ll just see what happens.”
He leans forward, staring at his clasped hands. His jaw clenches. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Normally, I’d try to finesse this, but I’m too numb. I bury my face in my hands. “Caleb, my kids come first. That isn’t going to change. If what I’m doing isn’t in their best interest, I’ll stop doing it, no matter how much I don’t want to.”
His eyes fall closed briefly before he stands. “Okay. We’ll talk later.”
I nod mutely as he walks away. It sure doesn’t seem like this talk will involve any kind of change on his part. So what happens to us when he admits it?
I GET the twins a little earlier than normal and we do all the things there’s not usually time for in the afternoon: we stop by the park, I help Henry with Snap Circuits and play diner with Sophie （I’m the customer, she’s the waitress. She informs me that everything I try to order is ‘not very healthy’ and suggests a different option instead. I don’t see a lot of work in the service industry in her future.）
And the whole time, my stomach is a boiling cauldron of worry. Are Caleb and I done? I regret being as blunt as I was, but that doesn’t mean what I said wasn’t true.
Over dinner, there’s a knock on the door and all three of us startle. Jeremy’s the only person who ever comes here when the kids are awake. Sophie races ahead of me. By the time I come around the corner, the door’s been flung open wide.
Caleb’s eyes meet mine. “I was thinking of taking my boat out. I wondered if you guys might want to come.” His uncertain half-smile breaks my heart.
He isn’t ending things. He’s trying.
“You’re still in your suit.”
He laughs. “Yeah…I was gonna change. I just thought I’d ask first.”
“Yes, we want to go,” Sophie says in her most polite voice. She glances up at me. “Thank you for extending the invitation.”
I have no idea where she got that from, but I think I’d better make sure my aunt’s books are hidden away.
“Yes,” I say with a smile. “Thank you for extending the invitation.”
Caleb turns to Henry. “I understand you’ve got something you want to build?”
My heart flutters as Henry nods, serious but hopeful.
“Should we start on it tomorrow?”
Henry nods again. A shadow of a smile graces the corners of his mouth. I’m pretty sure my heart is going to burst.
31
LUCIE
The next evening, Henry and Caleb start to build the robotic arm. I didn’t think it was possible for Caleb to become more attractive to me, but watching him work with my son so patiently is an unbelievable aphrodisiac.
“If you keep looking at me like that,” he says quietly, when the kids run down to the water, “I’m going to yank you off that chair and turn this into an uncomfortable evening for everyone.”
I laugh, pressing my palms to my suddenly warm face.
He gives a low groan. “Don’t blush either. You have no idea what it does to me when you blush like that.”
“I’m not sure I can control the blushing.”
“For the love of God,” he begs, “try.” The desperation and command in his voice has me clenching my thighs together…and wishing we didn’t have to wait for the weekend to be alone. I want to put the kids to bed tonight and pull him into my room seconds later. I want to wake up with him. I want everything, and I’ve wanted everything from him…since we began, but it’s too early to say it aloud. He hasn’t spent two decades daydreaming about me the way I have him. He’s barely had two months.
He and Henry make good progress on the arm, and Henry starts putting the unfinished sections back in the box.
“Can you come to my show?” he asks Caleb.
I swallow a lump in my throat. I can’t think of another time in my life when I’ve heard Henry ask someone other than me and Sophie for anything. He refuses to speak up when he’s hungry, when he’s thirsty, when another kid cuts in line.
But now, with Caleb, he’s asking.
Caleb bites his lip as he looks at me. “When is it?”