Let me know your ideas—I’m happy to put in as much manpower as we need!
The reply took longer than I expected—nearly half an hour passed before Caroline’s email came in.
Lily,
The rest of the bridesmaids and I just had a phone conference, because frankly, we’re SHOCKED that you would spoil the surprise to Caryn within minutes of the plan being hatched. What kind of person does that?
We then called Caryn, who was ecstatic over the idea of a trip to New Orleans—it’s her favorite place in the country, after all, so I don’t know what kind of trip you told her about, but she DEFINITELY loves the idea—even though it’s not a surprise anymore, thanks to you.
As for the shower, no. My club does not allow for outside food vendors or personal catering. And unless you’re a professional florist or cookie designer, then no, the flowers or favors will not be an option either.
We’re sorry that you won’t be able to attend with us. You can Venmo me your share of the money to this email address. It will only be $1,750 for the accommodations with you not coming, but send $2,000 to cover your share of food, drink, spa, and incidentals for Caryn. And an additional $1,000 for the shower.
And in the future, please talk to us before you go running to Caryn.
Thanks,
Caroline （and the rest of the bridesmaids）
Welp. That went about how I expected. Except there was a zero percent chance that I was Venmoing Caroline three thousand dollars. And not just because I didn’t have it.
I cracked my knuckles and hit “Reply All” again. I didn’t work in PR for nothing. I knew how to talk to horrible people.
Dear Caroline et al,
I’m afraid I will not be paying for the party that I will not be attending. I’ll make my own apologies to Caryn on that front.
As for the shower, please keep in mind that I am working on a fixed budget. I will do my best to chip in my share, but we may hit a point at which I cannot go higher. I will try to rework my budget to cover my share of the costs that you’ve outlined so far.
Thank you for your understanding.
—Lily
I marched back to Caryn’s office but didn’t sit down this time.
She looked up warily. “Am I about to get another angry phone call over this?”
“Possibly. But I’m here to tell you that I will be unable to attend your bachelorette party. It’s the weekend of my brother’s wedding. And just so you hear it from me, not them, I’m also not paying two thousand dollars for a trip that I’m not going on.”
“I’m sure they don’t expect you to pay that.”
I shrugged. “Okay. Whatever. Just be aware that when they call you, that’s where I’m at.” Her cell phone started buzzing on her desk. “Right on cue.” I looked at it pointedly.
She sighed. “I really don’t have time for all of this right now. Can’t you just try to get along with them? For my sake?”
The phone stopped ringing, then began again. Caryn picked it up. “Hi Caroline.” She nodded. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Actually, she’s here with me right now. No, she told me that. I mean, it is a lot of—” She paused as Caroline cut her off. “Oh. I mean—well—let me ask her, hang on.”
“If we do it the next weekend, will you come to New Orleans then?”
“No. That’s my best friend’s bachelorette party, and I still don’t have the money.”
She pursed her lips. “She said she still can’t come,” she said into the phone. “Look, do you want her phone number so you two can talk about this directly?”
I shook my head frantically and mouthed, “No!”
“Well, you need to figure it out. I’m not getting in the middle here. I can pay my own way if I have to. No, I wasn’t implying that. Caroline, I’m grateful for everything you do. Yes. I know, you just want to make sure everything is perfect and I appreciate you so much for that. Lily just didn’t grow up like us. It’s different for her.” Long pause. “Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you too.”
She hung up the phone and turned back to me, still standing in her doorway. “Okay, I explained,” she said. I didn’t hear anything that sounded like an actual explanation, unless it was the implication that I grew up poor, but okay. “But Caroline has a point too that it’s not fair to ask everyone else to pay for my trip and for you to not help. So maybe if you can chip in some, it’ll smooth things over. It doesn’t have to be the full amount.”