Alex and I had been hanging out a decent amount, and the fact that none of my normal crew were available was good for my bank account. Caryn was always talking me into the clothes I didn’t need, Megan into the restaurants I couldn’t afford, and Becca into the carryout more nights than we should.
And it wasn’t like the blog was earning me any real money yet. Dress shopping may have been over, but Caryn’s ridiculous email missives （and the follow-ups from Caroline and her minions） had continued to provide excellent fodder. As had my mother and sister’s running discussion about every wedding decision, which they felt the inexplicable need to conduct through three-way calls and group chats with me. But growing an audience was a slow process, and I was only making a few dollars per post so far.
Then again, this latest email was so out of the realm of realistic that my readers might think I was just making things up. I wondered if Caryn had always been this nuts and I somehow just hadn’t seen it.
“Knock, knock,” Caryn said, pushing the door open.
My eyes went to the notifications on my computer screen. Eighteen replies. I blinked heavily. “Hey.”
“Everything okay? I didn’t hear from you.”
“Yeah, was just on a phone call.” Unlike the rest of your bridesmaids, I work, I wanted to tell her. A thought dawned on me. “Are you still going to work after you get married?”
She looked taken aback. “I—well—at first, yes.”
“At first?”
“Well, not when I have kids, of course.”
My mother worked up until last year, when the last of her children finished college and she finally retired. My father would happily work until he was a hundred and twenty, if he lived that long, both because he loved his job and because he wouldn’t last long without an excuse to leave the house. So the idea of becoming a stay-at-home mom, especially one who would probably also have a nanny, was foreign to me.
“Are you planning on kids soon?”
“Well not immediately. But probably in a year or so. I’m not getting any younger and egg quality deteriorates after thirty-five.”
Was I a terrible person for debating how worthwhile it was to stay in her wedding? When we would only work together for another year or two at most? And apparently have nothing in common by then?
She shook her head. “Why do you ask, anyway?”
I tried to banish the disloyal thoughts. “No reason. Just curious.”
“So, dates are okay?”
“Yeah, should be fine,” I said absently. Then I thought about it. “Wait. Bachelorette might be a problem, depending on the weekend.”
Her eyebrows didn’t move, something I hadn’t really realized before, but her eyes narrowed slightly. “Why?”
“My brother’s wedding in Mexico is the second weekend in May.” I grimaced. “Actually, the shower could be an issue too. It depends on when my brother’s and sister’s showers and bachelorette parties are.”
“Well, if they haven’t planned them yet, doesn’t mine take priority?”
I set my jaw. “Imagine if it were Olivia’s wedding versus mine. You have to go to the family events.”
“But you’re not getting married.”
“I didn’t mean that literally. I might be flying to Chicago with my mom and sister for my sister-in-law’s shower, and I have to be at the events for my sister.”
“But I asked you to be a bridesmaid first.”
I mentally contrasted the reactions of Caryn and Megan, who would have said family absolutely came first （after saying that there was still a zero percent chance of Amy actually getting married）。
But it wasn’t worth fighting this fight when I didn’t even know if there was a conflict yet. “Hopefully it’ll all be fine.”
She seemed mildly placated by that. “You’ll need to work with the other girls to figure out shower and bachelorette. Don’t let Caroline shut you out. She did that to a girl in Deanna’s wedding and it wasn’t pretty.”
“Got it.” I turned back to my computer screen, preparing to read the now twenty-two emails.
She started to say something else, but stopped herself and walked out. I breathed a sigh of relief. Where had my friend gone, and who was this psycho walking around in her skin?
The first several emails were benign enough, but then, of course, Caroline responded.
Do you have a requirement on eyelash length? And what about hair color? I was planning to get my balayage refreshed the week before the wedding, so I need to know what color you want us to have.