“I know you feel like you always need to do everything by yourself. And tomorrow I’m going to be so pissed at you. But for right now”—he cleared his throat—“I’m glad you’re okay. And Jake is suspicious, by the way. I think he wanted to pass this off as your grief over Gigi, but he knows something is up. I’m in no position to give advice, but I think you should tell him what’s going on. But don’t worry about that now. Just rest, okay?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, and it seemed a hollow sort of sentiment for what she really wanted to convey.
She closed her eyes, but the tears came anyway, silent and painful.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, taking her hand.
And she slipped into sleep.
Awhile later, after Seth had woken her twice, she heard the front door open and the family filter in, noisy but trying to be quiet as they saw Sadie asleep on the couch. She kept her eyes closed and listened as Seth told them in hushed tones that she had drunk too much and was sleeping it off. A moment later she felt a cool hand brush the hair off her face.
It wasn’t a familiar hand, which meant it was her mother’s, and the tears began to sting again. Her mother had changed the course of her life to make her children proud, and Sadie finally wondered if she was the type of person her mother could be proud of. The hand vanished, and aunts and uncle and mother dispersed.
“I only told Raquel,” Seth said quietly. “You can tell the others if you want.” He shrugged in the near darkness. “But I didn’t think it was my place.”
“Thank you,” Sadie croaked out. “For everything.”
He returned to the chair by the fireplace and promptly fell back asleep.
Sadie felt something zinging along her veins. It felt like purpose. Or hope. Or maybe a little of both. The Jerusalem cherry tea had worked its way completely out of her system and she was wired.
She was tired of life happening to her. There was a hollow space in her soul that ached with Gigi’s absence, but she couldn’t use that as an excuse. What would it be like to trust herself? To trust the woman Gigi had raised her to be? She thought of Jake, how it would hurt him to follow his heart. If he could do the right thing, so could she. Because one thing she knew, now that her life was staring her in the face again and some of the feeling had returned to her, was that she wanted him in her life, even if only as a friend. She decided right then to invite Bethany over and get to know her.
The sharp fear of throwing away her life, losing her brother, her magic, made everything clearer. Her fingers itched by her sides. She tossed and turned on the couch until the sun filtered in through the curtains. A new day. A new promise. A new hope.
Athena’s Tea
Wisdom of the head is useless without wisdom of the heart. Drink this tea to bring both in balance. This is a caffeine free tea meant to be sipped before bed to sweeten your dreams.
Ingredients
2 spoons of Rooibos tea
1–2 tsp dried apple
1 inch of cinnamon stick
? inch vanilla pod
squeeze of honey （optional）
Directions
Steep in hot water 7 minutes, strain, and drink while it’s still piping hot for full effects.
??15??
AS THE SUN HAD risen, Sadie had finally fallen back asleep, and was woken by a bone-crushing hug and voices filtering in from the kitchen.
“I could cheerfully murder you!” Raquel whispered fearfully in her ear.
“I’m okay,” Sadie promised.
“What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t, obviously,” Sadie answered. “Or I don’t know. Maybe I was. I thought I could be the solution. Gigi’s letter said that if I sacrificed myself, Seth would be safe. It just—it made some kind of sense. At the time, anyway.”
“Gigi would never say that.” Raquel frowned.
Sadie pulled the letter out of her back pocket. She’d been carrying it around with her for days. The paper was worn soft and the creases smoothed.
Sadie watched as Raquel’s eyes scanned the letter and then started at the top again, narrowing as they neared the end.
“This is like a riddle.”
“Seems pretty clear to me.”
“No, it’s not. Because if you actually used the brain in that pretty little head of yours, you’d know Gigi would never, ever, and I mean ever, tell you to off yourself.”
Sadie was silent, her brows pulled down. She had known that, surely. Realized it but not wanted to stare that truth in the face because it was easier to take it at face value. Her head still felt foggy and ached if she moved too fast.