“Wow, that’s quite the scientific reasoning.”
“Well, you try walking with a bra,” I say right before I reach in front of me, snap open the front clasp of my bra, and then pull the whole thing off. I toss the bra at Breaker and say, “You try.”
He glances up at me as he holds my bra in his hand, and then his eyes travel down my neck, past my collarbone, and right to my breasts, where my nipples press hard against the white of my shirt fabric.
“That was hot, Lia.” He wets his lips and then examines my bra. “Really hot.”
His eyes fall to my breasts again, and I can feel all inhibitions fall away as I stick my chest out and say, “Trying to get a good look?”
“Yeah,” he answers with a shameless smirk.
“Well, cut it out.” I kick my foot toward him. “This is serious business.” I take a deep breath and hold my arms out to the side. “Watch me walk with beauty and grace.”
“Let’s see it.” Although, when I sneak another look at him, he’s still looking at my braless breasts.
I place one foot in front of the other and glide, not missing a step and proving that in fact I’m not drunk.
“Ha,” I say when I finish. “Told you it was the bra.”
“Puh-lease,” he says while he stands. “That was all luck. Bet you I can walk straight with this bra on.”
“Oh, you think so?”
“I know so.” He sets the bra down on the arm of the couch, pulls his shirt over his head, and tosses it to the side.
Hello, pecs.
“Uh, what are you doing?”
“Putting the bra on,” he says as he reaches for it and attempts to fit his arms through the loops. “Fuck, why is this so tight?”
“Uh, maybe because you are much larger than me.”
He has one arm strung through a strap but is turning in circles, trying to grab the other strap. After a few turns, he props one hand on his hip and turns toward me. “Can you fucking help me instead of just watching me run in circles like a dog trying to catch his tail?”
“I’m actually good just watching.”
He grumbles, takes the bra off, and then fits it on backward so the back of the bra runs across his nipples. Since I’m so much smaller than his broad shoulders, his arms turn in, being pulled by the straps of the bra.
He glances down at himself and then back up at me. “You know, I don’t really think this is a good look for me.”
I let out a roar of a laugh while I shake my head. “I’ve seen better.”
“Then let’s just get this over before I lose all sense of myself and start matching your lipstick with my nipple color.”
“What?” I chuckle. “Why would you match it with your nipple color?”
“I saw this girl talk about it on Tik Tok. How the perfect shade of lip would match your nipple. That not true?”
“Why are you watching makeup tutorials on Tik Tok?”
“I don’t search them out. They just pop up. The girl had a Boston accent. I think her name was Mikayla. Really fucking entertaining that I watched a few of her Tik Toks. No shame. She’s actually really inspirational. Lives her life the way she wants. And hey, now you know to match your lipstick to your nipples. You’re welcome.” He then holds his arms out and walks in a straight line, holding steady the whole time.
“You know this doesn’t count, right?” I ask. “You’re not wearing the bra correctly.”
“Uh, because it’s not big enough.”
I shrug. “Not my problem.”
“Then what the hell is this? What am I doing?”
“You tell me, you’re the one who whipped the bra on.”
“Ridiculous,” he says as he takes it off and then sling-shots it right at my face.
The fabric slaps me across the cheek, and I gasp in shock. “Oh my God, you could have taken my eye out.”
“Dramatic much?”
“I bet I have a red mark.” I grip my cheek and play it up.
“Death by bra, that’s a first.”
“Uh, excuse me, sir. I have no doubt in my mind that many a woman have met their creator because of a poorly manufactured brassiere, most likely designed by a man who has zero concept of the kind of damage a destructive underwire can have on an unsuspecting soul.”
“You do realize a bra is a choice, right?” His smirk tells me he’s only teasing, but that doesn’t stop me.
“Oh sure, right, a bra is a choice, so if I started walking around with my tits out, you think I won’t have complaints about erect nipples or showing too much?”