After all, love is just an illusion made up by empty people who crave companionship.
In reality, it doesn’t exist.
My skin prickles and the feeling of being watched stabs me in the chest.
I lift my head, and for the first time in weeks, my eyes lock with the violent twat who has no business looking at me with…a challenge.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
The way I saw it, you got hard when you had your eyes on me. Not her.
Those are the words that sent me into an epic loss of control, and for some reason, that foreign feeling is returning again.
My muscles tighten and I snatch a shot, then down it in one go and suppress a wince against the burn.
Nikolai’s eyes explode in a myriad of violent intensity, and rage radiates from him in waves.
It’s suddenly hard to swallow and I have to force down the need to clear my throat.
Unfamiliar anger ripples through me as he continues glaring.
What the hell did he expect?
Why the fuck is he even expecting anything from me?
Glyn raises a shot, but before she can drink it, Killian takes it for her and says, “You’re drunk. I’ll take your shots.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“Swoon.” Annika fawns over them, a stupid grin plastering all over her face.
She’s seventeen and skipped a school year to attend uni this young, right? I know Nikolai is only nineteen—seriously, he’s a kid—but he wouldn’t have done anything with her when she was/is underage, right?
I mean, the age of consent in the UK is sixteen, but they’re Americans. Isn’t it eighteen over there…？
Besides, he wouldn’t have done that to his best friend, right?
My throat constricts, and this time, I have to discreetly clear it against the influx of disgusting nausea.
Right?
“We need to take this game to the next level.” Nikolai holds out a shot and I stare at him, my heart pounding so hard, I think I’ll have a heart attack.
“Never have I ever fucked or experimented with someone of the same sex.” He steals a peek at me and then drinks his shot.
My heart thunders behind my rib cage and my fingers turn clammy around my glass. Breaths whoosh out of my lungs in fractured intervals.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Does a kiss count?” Ava asks him, and he nods. Eyes on me.
Stop looking at me.
Just stop.
I think I’m going to throw up in front of everyone and humiliate myself in the worst way possible.
“Well, screw it.” Ava takes the shot.
Remi gasps like a drama king. “This bitch is really looking to get herself killed tonight.”
Killian raises a shot and Glyn watches him with a questioning gaze.
“Don’t look like you’ll faint, little rabbit. Do you really believe all those kinks were done with only women? I used to experiment a lot.”
As he drinks, she also picks up a shot and takes it in one go.
What…？ My sister did what…？
“Don’t look surprised, Killer. I used to experiment a lot, too.”
I release a breath. Okay, so that was a lie to mess with Killian. She would’ve told me if that were the case. We’re close.
I think.
At least, I hope we are.
“No one else?” Nikolai toys with his empty shot glass, shooting a provocative look in my direction.
I stare at Remi and Ava bickering, then at my feet, and my focus stays there. Looking at the ink swallowing my shoes.
And yet I can feel his eyes on me, intense and unapologetic.
Tick.
You’re going to make a fool out of yourself.
Tick.
It’s game over, Bran. Everyone will see you for the fraud you are.
A low humming sound falls from him and I can’t help stealing a glimpse as he shoves a cigarette between his lips and stands. “Fucking bore. I’m out of here.”
I have to tighten my grip on the glass to stop it from shaking. My gaze tracks his nonchalant movements as he stalks to the exit, lighting his cigarette and releasing a cloud of smoke in the air.
Instead of the ink retreating from around my feet, it swallows them up, then shoots up my shins and strangles my knees until that’s all I can see and feel.
Black ink.
Fucking doom.
My heart simmers down almost lethargically, and I swallow another drink to numb it.
“Phew, that was intense,” Annika says. “Seriously, Kill. Don’t bring him next time. He’s scary.”
“Are you sure it’s not because he could snitch to your brother?”
She laughs awkwardly. “Don’t be ridiculous. I have nothing to hide from Jer.”