I glared at him. “Name one time my head hasn’t been in the game. We’re not at the crime scene yet. Get off my back.”
Lawson snapped his mouth closed, his hands tightening on the wheel. “I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Because I’ve never cared about anyone like this before,” I muttered.
He glanced at me before returning his focus to the road. “You’re going to have to figure out how to deal with all the stuff coming up. I don’t know if it’s about what happened around the shooting or—”
“Don’t,” I said quietly. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” Lawson argued. “I can see you winding tighter and tighter. I know it’s new for you, having feelings like this, but I don’t want it setting you back.”
“How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Your person being attacked. People spreading vicious lies about her that could lead to anyone acting out. Would you just shrug and turn it off?”
It killed that they’d seen me do that before. When shit hit the fan for all my siblings, I’d been able to keep going. But Aspen had unlocked something in me, and I couldn’t put things back in the bottle.
A muscle under Lawson’s eye fluttered. “Well, I don’t have a person, do I?”
Shit.
“That’s not how I meant it.”
He huffed out a breath, his fingers stretching around the wheel. “I know you didn’t. But if I’m honest, it’s one of the reasons I don’t. Having three kids I love more than life is hard enough—knowing what’s out there, all the things that could hurt them. I can’t add more to that plate.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. Lawson’s ex had messed with his head in ways I wasn’t sure he’d recover from. And he blamed himself for a lot of the shit that was hers and hers alone. But he wouldn’t be able to hear that now. He never could.
“Sometimes, it’s worth the risk,” I said quietly.
As twisted up as I was currently, I’d never give up a single moment with Aspen and Cady.
Lawson’s jaw clenched, making that muscle twitch again. “Not for everyone.”
He pulled into a spot at the trailhead and shut off the engine. The parking lot was already teeming with vehicles and various forms of law enforcement. There was a presence from CRPD, Harrison County, and Fish and Wildlife.
I slid out of the SUV and shut the door. Whoever this was had been impatient this time. The body was right in front of the map and welcome sign.
My gut roiled at the sight. The body wouldn’t be identifiable by facial features.
This was pure rage.
Nash grimaced as we approached. “Never seen anything like it, and I hope I never have to again.”
“I take it we don’t have an ID?” Lawson asked.
He shook his head. “Luisa and the techs are working now, but we’ll have to confirm with dental records if he isn’t in the system.”
He. That was all we knew.
Lawson jerked his head in a nod. “I’ve got the print scanner in my SUV if you want to grab it.” He handed Nash the keys.
“Male. That’s a hell of a different type,” I muttered.
“Also, they didn’t drag him up the trail. Either it was heat-of-the-moment, or the unsub was too angry.”
“He was definitely angry,” I said, inclining my head toward the decimated body.
Lawson’s hands clenched and flexed. “Understatement. Hopefully, he was pissed enough to leave some evidence behind.”
“Got it,” Nash called as he jogged back.
As we approached the body, Luisa looked up and shook her head. “Gotta stop meeting like this, Chief.”
“I don’t disagree. Any idea on time of death?”
“I’m guessing sometime late morning,” she answered.
“Same knife?” I asked.
Luisa glanced my way and grimaced. “There’s too much damage to the body for me to know from visuals alone. I need to get him back to the morgue.”
Hell. This was beyond bad.
“Can I run a print?” Nash asked.
Luisa nodded, motioning him over. He made a conscious effort not to look at the worst of the gore, and I didn’t blame him. This would give everyone who saw it nightmares for weeks.
Luisa lifted a single finger and pressed it to the electronic pad. Nash repositioned the scanner a few times to guarantee a complete image, then pulled it back.
One of the techs offered him an alcohol wipe.
Nash thanked him and cleaned the screen. “Let’s see if we can connect to cellular.”