I opened my mouth again, but Raihn’s words came faster now, stronger, like he was pulling them from somewhere deep within.
“I never apologized to you the way I should have. Because everything you’ve ever said about me has been right. Because you’ve always seen the Goddess-damned truth, even when I was ashamed of it. What I did to you was—it was unforgivable.” He spat the word, as if disgusted by himself. His fingertips brushed his chest, right where my blade had once pierced his skin. Because I knew, exactly, where that mark had been. “So I won’t ask for your forgiveness. I’m not going to stand here and tell you how sorry I am. What fucking good does that do for you? I don’t want to ask you for anything. I want to give you what you should have had a long time ago. Because you…”
The air seemed to have left the room—left my body, leaving me standing there, frozen, not breathing, not speaking, as he stepped closer. Closer. My chin tipped up to maintain our eye contact.
Mother, those eyes. They looked like fire now, glistening, wet with tears that didn’t quite overflow.
“You are everything,” he choked out, voice ragged. “Everything. So go, Oraya. Go.”
My throat was thick. I swallowed past the lump, my jaw tight.
All I could think was: Fucking fool.
If he had the House of Shadow as allies, that would be one thing. But Raihn had no allies anymore. Not the Bloodborn. Not even the Rishan. He needed the power I could give him more than ever, now. It was his only chance at making it back to the throne, and certainly his only chance at keeping it.
He needed me more than he ever had.
“You have nothing but me,” I said. “And yet, you’d let me go?”
“I have nothing but you,” he murmured. “So I am letting you go.”
The words left me dizzy, like the entire world had shifted in a direction my body didn’t know what to do with. Raihn was so close to me that I could feel his body heat, a sensation that now felt as familiar to me as my own skin. And I could see the way his jaw worked and muscles strained, as if uniting against a primal force that begged to close the distance between us.
How did I recognize that so easily?
Why did it feel so familiar?
I was silent for a long moment.
Then I reached around him, snatched the pouch of coins from the bed, and thrust it against his chest, hard enough to make him let out a surprised oof.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” I snarled.
His face shifted in the beginnings of surprise.
“Everything has just gotten interesting,” I said, “and you think I’m just going to run away? When there’s a fight to fight? When that piece of shit has my crown?” I stepped closer, even though it was dangerous, even though that put us so close that our bodies were nearly aligned, my head tipped up to hold his stare, a sneer over my nose.
“Fuck you, Raihn,” I whispered. “Fuck you.”
He took me in for a long moment, unblinking.
And we broke that suspended silence at the same time.
I didn’t know who moved first. The kiss was like a thunderstorm over the summer desert—a torrent that swept in all at once, obliterating the heat, so all-consuming that suddenly you remember nothing but the rain.
All at once, he was everywhere.
44
ORAYA
The bag of coins made a distant THUMP as it fell to the floor, Raihn’s hands abandoning it for my body.
He kissed me like he was starving. Kissed me the way he had fed from me in a cave once, many months ago—desperate and deep and full of hunger, like I was the only thing tethering him to the world. And Mother, I felt that way, too, like I was grasping hold of something solid for the first time in so long.
Like I had come home.
I had told myself I’d forgotten what it was like to kiss Raihn.
That was a lie. A body doesn’t forget a thing like this—it was carved into my muscle memory, a piece of myself that had awakened from some dormant state. He kissed me with not just his mouth, but his whole body—just like he fought, with every muscle rearranged to the task, centered around me alone.
This dress was so fucking thin.
The silk let me feel everything. His hands, large and rough, trailing down my body like he wanted to memorize every muscle, drink up every curve. The warmth of him, so close I could’ve sworn I felt the throb of his heartbeat beneath his skin. His cock—Goddess, his cock, hard and thick and straining between us already.
Yes, the silk let me feel everything. It let me feel how much Raihn had wanted this, for so long.