Mische shrugged and said casually, “Maybe I just like her better than you.”
I touched my chest and made an exaggerated expression of pain. Such a casual, fatal shot.
She laughed, and I was so grateful for the sound I didn’t even care about the insult. Hell, I was glad she felt comfortable talking to Oraya, if she wasn’t going to be comfortable talking to me.
But her laughter faded. “It was just… easier,” she admitted. “It’s just… It’s you and me, you know?”
I did know. I understood exactly. Sometimes she and I were so close we couldn’t really see or understand each other.
“And,” she added, “I just didn’t want to see you make that face. That sad face.”
The sad face?
“Did I make it?” I asked.
“Yes. It was heartbreaking.”
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
“Listen, Mische… I will always support you going where you want to go and doing what you want to do with your life. And yes, I’ll miss the hell out of you.”
Ix’s tits, I really would miss her.
“But if this is what you really want, then who am I to question that? You said this place isn’t your home. But it can be. A home is somewhere you come back to. And if you really feel like you need to leave, that’s fine. But this place—us—we will always be here for you to come back to.”
Her eyes, big and round, gleamed in the moonlight. Her lip wobbled slightly.
The sad face. Goddess damn it.
“None of that bullshit,” I grumbled. “You said a few more weeks. We can do this then.”
But before the words were out of my mouth, she threw herself against me in a hug. I grumbled, but folded my arms around her anyway, squeezing her tight.
A few weeks, I reminded myself.
Hell if I wasn’t grateful for them.
Saying goodbye to Mische would be like saying goodbye to an entire version of myself. Wasn’t sure I was ready to do it tonight.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
For everything.
I knew exactly what she meant.
I knew it, because I felt it, too.
“It’s nothing,” I said. Even though we both knew it wasn’t true.
That was enough uncomfortably blatant emotion for Mische and me. We’d said all there was to say, and Mische wandered off, significantly lighter, to go find more food, leaving me alone to wander the gardens. I took a few minutes of solitude, collecting myself.
I hadn’t had much quiet time, lately. It was actually nice. Even if it was occasionally punctuated by the vocal moans of one couple or another from the shrubs.
Eventually, I decided to go find Oraya. I wondered if she was still trapped in conversations with nobles, or if she’d finally managed to extract herself, too.
Just as this thought crossed my mind, I turned a corner to see her standing at one of the garden walls, looking out over the festivities below.
I stopped short.
I couldn’t help it. I needed to just take a minute to look at her. Her wings were out now, the red shockingly vibrant even under the moonlight. Her gown glittered like the night sky itself. And her posture—she held herself like such a queen.
Sometimes, I found it impossible to imagine how Oraya had ever thought of herself as helpless. She was the most powerful person I’d ever met.
I approached her. She turned before I made it to her side, and the little smile she gave me eased the remaining lingering tension in my chest.
“You escaped,” I said.
“So did you.”
“In a way. I found Mische instead.”
Maybe it was the bond that told Oraya what that meant, or maybe it was my face, or maybe both, because she cringed slightly.
“Oh.”
“Mhm.”
“Are you alright?”
I shrugged. “She’s her own person. If that’s what she needs to do, that’s what she needs to do.”
Oraya stared hard at me in a way that told me she knew I wasn’t feeling quite so nonchalant about the whole thing. I sighed.
“A few weeks is a few weeks. We’ll deal with it then.”
I took a drink of my wine, and then frowned down at it, wishing it was something more satisfying.
Oraya followed my gaze.
“I think this party is hosting itself at this point,” she remarked, looking out over the crowd. Then she met my eye with a playful, knowing glint. “Do you want to go somewhere more fun?”
No hesitation.
“Fuck, yes.”
80
ORAYA
I’d admit it. I now thoroughly enjoyed the taste of piss beer. Raihn and I sat on a rooftop in the human districts, trailing our fine clothing all over the dirty clay roof, and watched the sky over the blocky buildings, the party reduced to a sparkling smear of light in the distance.