“What . . .” I keep my eyes closed, thinking. “What exactly was he searching?”
“Um, I don’t know . . . Alpha traits, alpha horror stories, alpha regulations in the workforce . . .”
I have to really focus, something that doesn’t come easily to me right now, but I take a deep breath to try anyway—some memory floating at the edge of my mind just begging to be remembered. It’s . . . it’s only been a little more than a month. Since someone turned Noah in. If Dennis truly was jealous of Noah . . . why would he have been searching about alphas for months? I think back even harder, desperately reaching for whatever it is that my brain wants me to remember, feeling like my fingertips are just there, brushing along the edge of it.
And then it hits me.
That day. The day I had gone into heat. The conversation that Parker and I had been having, the one that I had convinced myself Dennis couldn’t have overheard. How could I have forgotten about it?
I snort under my breath. I know the answer to that. Three days of sex like Noah and I had is enough to make you forget a lot of things. I think back to the way Parker and I had practically been yelling, how Dennis had popped up just after, only seconds between what we’d said and his presence, and could he have overheard?
If Dennis . . . if Dennis is the one who turned Noah in . . . If he wanted Noah’s job that badly—what would he do if he found out that Noah’s and my relationship was fake?
I blink, and then I gasp, warring with the possibility of hope and the fear of learning it’s all for naught. I stare blankly at the wall as I consider what to do, if I should do anything at all, because what if I’m wrong? What if the thing between Noah and me had really just run its course, and he doesn’t feel anything for me?
What if Noah actually had just wanted out?
I think that deep down, there’s really only one choice for me, no matter what the outcome.
“Parker,” I say, coming to a decision.
He pauses with his drink halfway to his mouth. “Hm?”
“How hard would it be to remote-access someone’s computer?”
He frowns, not catching on. “Not hard? Why would you—”
I’m already slipping off my stool, slapping my cheeks to help collect myself before grabbing for my coat. “Come on,” I tell him. “We’re leaving.”
Parker looks dumbfounded, watching me shove my arms through my coat sleeves and start toward the door. “Where are we going?”
“Back to the hospital,” I toss over my shoulder.
“Are you sticking me with the tab? Hey!”
I’m sure he’ll be griping about that for a while, but I can’t stop.
Not until I know for sure.
26
Noah
“—and another thing,” my mother is saying. “I am so tired of hearing about your life from Regina, of all people. It’s embarrassing, Noah. If it weren’t for that daughter of hers being as gossipy as her mother, I wouldn’t know anything! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you put in your resignation. Were you just going to hop over to New Mexico without even saying good-bye?”
Given the way that my mother has been grilling me for the last ten minutes, I decide it’s probably a bad idea to tell her that, yes, that’s likely what I was going to do. Mostly to avoid a conversation like this while I’m still nursing my Mackenzie-related wounds.
“It all happened very fast,” I tell her, trying to placate her a little. “It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.”
“You still could have made time to pick up the phone,” she tuts. “We could have thrown you a going-away party.”
Definitely not in the mood for a party right now.
“It’s fine, Mom. Really. You can come visit when I’m settled.”
“You’re damn right, I will,” she snorts.
“Language,” I remind her, earning myself another curse.
“And what about Mackenzie? What happened to trying for more?”
I wonder if there will ever be a time when thinking about her doesn’t make my chest hurt. I pause from folding my shirts, taking a deep breath. “It didn’t work out.”
“？‘It didn’t work out,’？” she echoes blandly. “That sounds like a crock of shit to me.”
I shut my eyes, sighing. “It wasn’t a real relationship, Mom.”
Will I have to have this conversation with everyone in my life?
I’m suddenly very grateful that my personal circle is very small.