Between Tides Thunder(109)
But as I trudge deeper, a hush ripples through the room like a sudden, silencing breeze. Conversations falter, movements slow. Even the ragtag group of musicians in the corner stops playing when they see me.
Sura coughs loudly, hand on her hip. That’s all it takes for the room to find its rhythm again. She drags me through the crowd and introduces me to her friends—the new life she’s created.
“This is Mona.” Sura slings her arm around the shoulders of a petite girl with chin-length blond hair. “She works with me in the childcare area. You should see her with the munchkins. She blends right in.” Mona elbows Sura in the ribs, rolling her eyes.
Sura introduces me to a few more people, though I’m embarrassed to admit I forget their names almost immediately. One of the men works in the kitchens, another in the armory. I smile brightly, offering pleasantries, but my gaze keeps returning to the door.
I don’t recognize anyone who walks through. Disappointment wells in my chest, but I keep my smile frozen on my face.
Back turned to the door, I’m nursing a mug of ale as I listen to one of the women prattle on about how handsome Tumaas is.
“Bleurgh.” Sura pretends to vomit. “I don’t know what you lot see in him. Besides, he’s spoken for. Right, Mayah-bear?”
I don’t respond. There’s a sudden shift in the air. It vibrates through me until every molecule in my body thrums. My fingers tighten around my glass.
If conversations faltered when I entered, the room goes deathly still now. With stark clarity, I realize why Tairna wants me to lead. The people fear Zev—despise him, even.
Zev.
His gaze burns into my back. Slowly, I pivot and face my husband. He hasn’t changed out of his clothes, still wearing the same dark shirt and trousers we’d arrived in.
His stormy gaze rakes over me, lingering on the dark, loose curls around my shoulders, my rouge-tinted lips, the bare skin above the sweetheart neckline of my borrowed blue dress.
When his eyes meet mine again, they’re as dark as night, their heat searing into me from clear across the room. A ripple of anticipation skitters down my spine, and for a brief, foolish second, I think he’ll approach me.
Nothing prepares me for the jarring plummet in my stomach when he strides to the bar instead, flagging down the barkeep.
A glass shatters somewhere behind me, followed by a loud whoop, and the room resumes its joy.
“Mayah?” Sura nudges my shoulder.
“W-what?” I stammer, turning to her.
Her deep blue eyes narrow as she studies my face, glancing toward the bar. “I asked if you want to dance.”
“Oh. Um, no. I’m all right. You go ahead.”
“I’ll check in on you soon,” she promises with a quick kiss to my cheek, then joins the crowd on the floor. The dance is nothing like the Tundrayni drum dance or even the ballroom dance of Arbinj—it’s something else entirely, all loose limbs, swaying hips, and wide smiles as partners twirl each other, never releasing their joined hands.
I watch Sura for a while. She moves with a carefree energy that I almost envy, her head thrown back in joy. She’s been happy—she must have been to laugh so freely. My heart swells at the thought, but there’s also an undercurrent of grief I can’t ignore.
“You should ask him to dance,” a warm voice says in my ear.
I startle. It’s Zev’s mother, leaning on the table beside me. I hadn’t heard her approach in the raucous room. Her eyes are ringed in red, as if she cried long after we left her office. Still, she manages to smile as she adds, “He can’t keep his eyes off you.”
My cheeks heat.
If he wanted to dance with me, he would have asked. The bitter words bounce around my head, but I can’t exactly voice them to my mother-in-law. Instead, I gesture to the table, and we sit.
I fidget with my hands, and after a beat, ask the question that’s lingered on my tongue since I learned she knew Mama.
“What do you remember about my mother?”
The lines around Tairna’s mouth tighten. “She was brave. Kind. We both arrived within weeks of each other. Not this camp, of course. Everyone fled after Tormik discovered it. Those who survived, anyway.” She sighs, tapping her fingers on the worn table. “Meerah kept her identity a secret, but I could tell from her mannerisms that she was noble. I’d been around enough highborn ladies by then. Eventually, I asked her point-blank, and she told me who she was. We were fast friends after that.”
Tairna’s eyes glisten, and when she smiles, it’s grief that hugs the curve of her lips. “I tried to convince her to send you back, Mayah. I-I don’t know if that was right of me. But I knew a king would never tolerate losing his heir. But she wouldn’t listen. She loved you. More than her own life. She couldn’t bear to be parted from you.” Tairna reaches across the table and brushes a tear from my cheek. I’m not sure when I began crying.
My mother-in-law takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “She would have been proud of the woman you’ve become.” Her hand covers mine over the table, and I’m surprised to find I welcome her comfort.
Tairna bites her lip, her dark gaze fixed over my shoulder. “I didn’t want to leave him, Mayah. But I had no other choice. It killed me bit by bit every day, knowing he was still there. Alone. And it’s killing me now to see the pain I caused him. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me.” A lone tear slides down her cheek, quickly wiped away. “But just being near him is enough.”