Between Tides Thunder(114)

“If you ‘care’ for him,” she asks when my tears subside, “why are you in my bed?”

I shake my head. “He discovered the Equinox plan before I could tell him,” I whisper, my voice ragged. “Then he … caught me with Daak.”

A shuddering breath.

One more confession.

“And then … he killed Daak.”

Sura gasps, eyes wide.

“Tides drown you, Mayah. He killed Daak? And even still?”

“Even still,” I repeat, covering my face with my hands. “I—I attacked him after it happened. I was so distraught. I wasn’t thinking clearly. That’s when he learned about my waterwielding. He took me captive. I was certain he meant to kill me.” I swallow hard. “His men attacked me. They were going to … He killed them all for me. I ran. Sorka’s camp was nearby, and they captured him.” Fresh tears drip down my cheeks. “They beat him for days. I couldn’t bear the sight of him hurt. I think—I think that’s when I knew for sure. How I felt about him.” My voice drops lower, as if that might hide my shame. “Daak’s death gutted me, Sura. But now, the pain of hurting Zev, betraying him, guts me more,” I whisper.

I am ashamed. I am wretched. I am a monster.

But it’s a truth I can no longer deny.

“Wow,” Sura whispers. “I just—wow.”

“It doesn’t matter. Sometimes I think he still cares, but then he’ll make it clear he hates me. How can he not? After everything I’ve done.”

“Hates you?” Sura snorts. “The man is smitten with you. I know when you’ve entered a room just from the change in his posture.” She sighs dramatically. “I suppose I’ll have to stop telling Tumaas to hug you when he’s around.”

“What?” I sputter. “Why have you been doing that?”

She shrugs, a sly smile on her full lips. “I like watching him unravel. Sometimes, his jaw clenches so hard, I pretend his teeth have cracked. Yesterday, I swear he bit his tongue. It made my week.”

I burst into laughter, until tears leak from my crinkled eyes. Sura watches me, her lips quirked.

“Have you told him how you feel?” she asks.

I nod slowly, the memory of that night together in the tent still a lingering wound. “After we left the Tundrayni camp, I told him. He didn’t believe me. He was … he was cruel.”

Sura’s lips twist into a scowl.

“Tairna’s plan—you as queen. Would he rule beside you?”

“I don’t think so. He wants to leave the realm.”

“You could go with him.”

“What about the plan?”

Sura waves a dismissive hand. “As long as both tyrants are deposed, Tairna will figure something out. Even idiot Tumaas would make a better king. I want you to be happy.”

I don’t have the words to express my heart.

Sura sees me—accepts me. Despite everything, she still loves me.

“We’ll figure this out, Mayah.”





CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE




SUNLIGHT STREAMS THROUGH THE unfamiliar window, leaving me disoriented as I blink away sleep. The bed beside me is empty, sheets rumpled. Did Zev actually sleep beside me last night? Deep inhale. I scrunch my nose—honeysuckle. Not the smoky scent I was expecting.

“Still a heavy sleeper, I see,” a lilting feminine voice calls out.

Sura. I’m in Sura’s room.

I sit up as she emerges from behind her closet door, a large box clutched in her slender arms. The mattress dips as she settles beside me and unceremoniously plops the box in my lap.

“A gift,” she explains at my inquisitive glance. “I was planning to surprise you on your birthday, but after last night…”

I think you could use it now is what she doesn’t say.

“Sura, I—”

“Open it.” Her face is bright and beautiful and happy, and I’m in awe of her unbroken spirit. Her soul radiates enough light to brighten the darkness in mine.

The lid slides off the box easily, and Tides, inside is—

“Try it on!” she squeals.

I oblige her and return minutes later dressed in the most breathtaking fighting leathers I’ve ever seen. Smooth, supple leather in the palest shade of ice blue molds to my body like a second skin, hugging my thighs and chest. Brown, knee-high boots and fingerless gloves complete the set. Even a long cape, pinned at my shoulder, drapes down my back.

A fitted vest overlays the tunic, its pockets ready for knives and hidden blades. A wide, brown belt cinches my waist, weighted by a large canteen—not for drinking, but for wielding.

For the first time in my life, the mirror doesn’t reflect a delicate princess—a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A warrior stares back. The fighter I’ve always been beneath the silk and smiles.

“Thank you,” I whisper, my throat tight with emotion.

She only waves me off and pulls me into a fierce embrace. “It suits you,” she murmurs, brushing away my tears.

I manage a watery smile. “Breakfast?”

Sura shakes her head. “I have something to take care of. I’ll catch up with you later.”


I turned heads the entire morning in my new, form-fitting outfit.