Between Tides Thunder(110)

Her words slice through me in a way I don’t expect.

I know exactly how she feels.

“Will you tell me about him?” she requests softly. There’s hesitation in her eyes, but also hope.

“He thought you were dead. It’s haunted him.” I resist the urge to turn and look at him. “It’s been difficult for Zev with Faramir and his father. But even through all that grief, all the evil around him, he managed to turn out good. And, I think, it’s because of you.”

Another tear slides down her cheek as she shakes her head. “That’s kind of you to say. But Vayru made himself into who he is.” She sniffles, wiping her tears. “What about his relationship with his father?” Her fingers absently rub her wrist.

I press my lips into a grim line. At the palace, I had viewed everything Varad did through a lens of hatred. Now, I’m not sure.

“I think Varad loves him in his own way.” Tairna’s lips tighten into a scowl. “He wasn’t a good father by any means. But he tolerated more disrespect from Zev than my father would’ve ever allowed from me.” I cut my gaze to hers. “The marriage proposal to his ‘second son’ was just an excuse. Varad intended to ransom me—he told me as much. I think he only agreed to the marriage because he could see that Zev—” The words don’t want to pass through my lips. “Zev cared about me.” My voice cracks.

Tairna doesn’t say anything for several heartbeats, just swirls the amber liquid in her glass. “Has Zev been happy?”

I don’t want to tell her the truth.

“I think he’s been alone for a long time. He doesn’t trust anyone. Doesn’t let anyone in.”

She gives me a soft smile. “Until you.”

I take a deep swig of ale to mask the trembling of my lips. When I don’t return Tairna’s smile, hers slowly fades. “Were you disappointed to have married him? Instead of Faramir?”

“No. Not at all.” My words ring with truth. “I was relieved, actually. Zev and I had gotten to know each other better during the journey. I knew he was a good man. That he wouldn’t hurt me. That … I could trust him.” Fresh tears well in my eyes. I take a shaky breath, forcing my heart to slow.

“And are you happy with my son?” she asks softly.

“I-I don’t think Zev would like it if he knew I’d discussed our marriage this way.”

“Fair enough.” Tairna rests her chin on her hand. “I’ll tell you what I’ve observed so far. You don’t have to respond or even react.” She tucks a lock of snow-streaked hair behind her ear. “There’s tension between you. Mountains of it. Perhaps trust that has been broken? You’re afraid of being hurt. So is he. There’s also a lot of anger in him. At me. At you.” My lips part in surprise, and she gives me a knowing smile. “But there’s also the good kind of tension. Flames, I thought we’d have to pry his hand off your arm with a metal bar back in the woods. Vayru is fiercely protective of you. And you let him be. You don’t strike me as someone who allows others to stand in front of her. He’s been watching you since he arrived tonight, and I just know he’s only here because you are.”

“How can you possibly know that?” I whisper.

“Call it mother’s intuition,” Tairna says with a watery smile. “I haven’t seen him in years—but I know his heart, Mayah.” She swishes the ale in her mug. “He’s done horrible things. Committed atrocities. But haven’t we all? Sometimes we’re forced to do terrible things—relish them, even—because of lies we’ve been told. Out of a twisted sense of duty. I know my Vayru took no pleasure in what he’s been made to do.”

She’s right. I can barely stomach what I’ve done out of a misplaced desire for revenge over my mother’s death, when the culprit had called me daughter all along.

Tairna squeezes my hand. “Now, please, by the Flames, ask my Vayru to dance before he gives himself a stroke.”

I wipe my tears and manage a weak smile. My chair scrapes against the floor as I rise, though the sound is muffled by the loud music. Tairna was right—Zev is watching me. I almost buckle beneath his fierce gaze. He tracks the moisture on my cheeks, hand flexing at his side, before his stony gaze flits to his mother and morphs into an accusatory glare.

I take a deep breath.

With sure steps, I stride across the hall.

Zev’s eyes never leave me.

I can do this.

He’s only cold and cruel because he’s hurt.

Tides, I hope Tairna is right.

A muscular arm drops over my shoulders, halting my steps.

“Mayah!”

Tumaas spins me around, then locks me against his body with a hand splayed over my lower back. He brings my hand to his shoulder, rocking me in time with the upbeat music.

“Dance with me.” He smiles wide, until his dimple winks at me. I stumble, stepping on his foot, but he only laughs. Tumaas twirls me, my dress flaring out, before spinning me back into his arms.

I peer over his shoulder and find Zev. He’s still at the bar, face pinched and dark. His glass hits the counter with a dull thud, stormy gaze locked on the space where Tumaas’s hand rests on my lower back.

I wish he’d come storming across the floor, rip me from Tumaas’s arms, and claim me.