Daydream (Maple Hills, #3)(117)
Henry rolls off me, pulling up his sweatpants and immediately helping me pull my panties back up. It’s dirty and emotional, and yet neither of us is saying anything when we stare up at the ceiling of his living room. We’re both breathing heavily, but it’s the only sound.
“I need you to tell me what he said. Please, Henry. I’m going to create my own answers if you don’t tell me, and it’ll probably be far worse than the actual truth.”
“Even though it’s disgusting and will hurt you?” he asks quietly.
“If something is so bad you’ll risk the thing you’ve been working hard for all year, then I feel like I need to know what it was. I know adjusting has been hard, but you’re such a great leader. You can’t throw it away. I’ll only make you say it once, I promise.”
He takes a breath and tells me as calmly as he can. My stomach twists as I hear how Will talked about my body. Henry pauses, which gives me a chance to apologize. “I’m so sorry, Henry. I know how hard you’ve been working to beat him fairly.”
“He asked me if I liked the things he’d taught you,” Henry adds, and everything that comes after makes tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.
Will Ellington isn’t worth crying over, and he never has been.
Henry is right, it is disgusting, and it’s a weird moment where the anger and the upset fight against each other in my body. But as horrible as Will is, as embarrassed as I feel, I would never want Henry to lose something over me. “You should tell your coach what he said. I can drive you back to the rink right now, and you can tell him and all of this can be fixed so you can play tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Now isn’t the time to be stubborn, Henry. We can fix this. I’m not worth getting in trouble over. I’ll get over the embarrassment. Please let me help you. Don’t make me watch you spiral.”
“I felt relieved, Halle. When he said I might not get to be captain anymore, for the first time all year I was happy about hockey. And I don’t know what to do with that information. I feel really lost about the things I have and the things I want. I think I might need a bit of time to sort my head and my feelings out.”
I find his hand on the floor beside me and hold it tight. I make up my mind about what I’m going to say, then change it, then decide again. A lifetime passes before I speak. “I broke a rule, Henry. It’s a big one; number four. Anastasia was right.”
He brings the hand clutching his to his mouth, kissing my skin gently. “I know. When I feel better, I’ll ask the board to forgive me for not doing number five.” He isn’t going to break my heart. “Can you give me time? I’m worried that if you’re around when this all hits me that I’ll push you away. I promise you and Joy can have me back when I feel better. I just don’t deal with things well when everyone is around me. I feel a bit numb now, but I don’t think that will last, so I’m going to go to my parents’ house.”
I want to beg him to let me help him, but he clearly doesn’t want my help. As hard as it is to accept, especially when it comes to someone I love, I can’t fix everything. “Yes.”
“This is the one thing you’re allowed to say no to me about,” he says, voice soft.
“I can give you time to get your head straight, Henry. As much time as you need. Just promise you’ll come back to me as soon as you feel better.”
“I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven HALLE
THERE’S A PART OF ME that hopes that when I answer the knocking at my front door that it will be Henry with his shit together, but deep down I know that it isn’t.
I don’t get many visitors, so it’s a surprise when I open my front door and find a woman I don’t immediately recognize standing on the other side of it. I say don’t recognize, but as she smiles at me and holds up her hand to wave awkwardly, I realize of course I know who she is.
“I’m so sorry to turn up like this, Halle,” she says. “I’m Anastasia. Henry might have, well I hope he has, mentioned me before. He’s talked about you so much I feel like I already know you.”
“Oh my God, yes. Hi.” I feel a little starstruck. Henry talks about Anastasia so much I feel like she’s famous, but I’ve never met her in person because she’s always so busy. Then my stomach drops, because why is she here?
“Everything is fine,” she says quickly. “Sorry, you just looked panicked. I’m just looking for Henry. He isn’t at home, and I guess I was just hoping he was with you. He hasn’t been answering my calls, and I’m just worried about him.”
“He isn’t here. He told me he was going to his parents’ house,” I say, quickly putting her out of her misery. “We haven’t talked, either. He said he wanted time to himself.”
Anastasia nods, folding her arms to hug herself. “I’ve been really wrapped up in myself this year. I have a lot on my plate and my boyfriend moved to Vancouver, and I guess what I’m trying to say in a really long-winded way is I’m sorry I haven’t found the time to meet you until now. I know you mean a lot to Henry. I’m really happy he has you, and I’d tell him that again if he would stop shutting me out.”