Daydream (Maple Hills, #3)(118)
In a way, hearing Henry isn’t answering her calls makes me feel marginally better, even though I recognize that’s a horrible way to feel. I think hearing that Henry is doing what he said he was going to do gives me the smallest bit of hope that things will work out.
“We kind of almost met last year. We were at the same party, and I saw you were talking to Henry, but we didn’t really know each other then, so I thought you were his girlfriend.”
Anastasia laughs in a way that would be better described as a cackle. “Girlfriend? He’d rather be celibate for the rest of his life. Henry only likes tall girls like, well, you. You’re Henry’s perfect type. He once told me I didn’t have enough ass to be able to justify my attitude, and that he was going to invoice me for physiotherapy since he was getting a bad neck from always looking at the ground when he’s forced to talk to me. So, definitely not girlfriend material.”
“That’s so harsh!” I say, but I can’t help but laugh because I can hear him saying it. Aurora once said that Henry talks to me differently compared to how he talks to everyone else, but I didn’t quite believe her until right now. “But to be fair, not unexpected. He told Lola she needed to finish growing if she wanted to be able to talk down to him, so it checks out.”
“He once had a very serious conversation with Kris about the medical logistics of height enhancements. When I told them they were ridiculous, he asked me hypothetically, if it guaranteed I stopped falling on my ass during practice, would I do it? Because he counted, and he thinks I’m above average on the ass-to-ice ratio. Not gonna lie, thought about it for a hot second.”
“That is… so random. Why would Kris be doing medical experiments?”
“Because he’s premed,” she says, looking at me funny. “Didn’t you know? I’m not judging you. The idea of human life being in Kris’s hands terrifies me. I thought everyone was pranking me when they first told me. I forced Kris to show me his class schedule.”
“That is terrifying.” Joy circles my feet, so I immediately pick her up to prevent her from escaping. “Sorry, do you want to come in?”
“I’m good. I’m sorry to randomly drop in on you. I’m just worried about him and I could trade ridiculous stories about all of them all day. I think I’m projecting, because I feel guilty about not spending a lot of time with people this year,” she says. “If you speak to him could you get him to return my calls? I just want to know that he isn’t spiraling.”
“If you text him and tell him you’re about to show up at his parents’ house I’m sure he’ll text you back.”
Her hands go to her waist, her demeanor switching into something more awkward. “He’ll know I’m lying. I’ve never been and I don’t even know where it is. Do you have the address?”
I shake my head. “I only went once, and I slept in the car because I was sick. I’m sorry. Should I be more worried? Honestly? He promised me he’d get in touch with me when he felt better, and I’ve just kinda told myself that I’m not going to have a total emotional breakdown over a man who says he’s coming back. Mainly because if he turns up here and I’m crying over him he’ll call me dramatic. Has he done this before?”
She shakes her head frantically. “No, please don’t stress yourself out because of me. Do you have siblings?”
“Yeah, I have three.”
“I’m an only child, but Henry feels like what I imagine having a brother is like. He isn’t great at working out when he’s on a downward spiral, but he’s learned that if he removes himself from the situation he can basically, like, process it all better. I’m still going to stress about him. I can’t help it. But like I said, it’s mostly guilt.”
“I get the sister guilt, so I know exactly what you mean. I struggled with it a lot the first year living away from home. I’ll make sure he checks in when I next hear from him.”
“I really hope we get more chances to hang out properly before I graduate. I really want to know you, Halle.”
I watch as Anastasia climbs into her car and drives off, leaving me analyzing if she meant what she said because she thinks I’ll still be around, or if she was just being polite.
* * *
WHEN I WAS LEAVING HENRY’S house after agreeing to give him as much time as he needs, I told him there was no pressure to keep me updated.
I know that the simplest of tasks can feel like a heavy weight to him, and he will ruminate for hours over completing it when he isn’t in a great frame of mind. I told him I’d rather he concentrates on feeling better than trying to keep me up to date with how he feels when he might not be able to explain it.
It was the right thing for me to say, but I still miss him. I’m wondering if Anastasia found him, and if I should have been the one trying to track him down instead of sticking to what I said.
I feel foolish more than anything. Maybe his other friends are what he needs right now and I’m not. I’m ashamed to admit that the idea that he could be out with his friends having dinner or something while I’m at home worrying makes me sad. Especially because I’m not supposed to be worrying.
Not sad because I don’t want him to feel better, and a genuine part of that might be to get out with his hockey friends, but because Will’s arrogant voice is playing on a loop in my head, and I can’t get it to stop.