Falling Like Leaves (Bramble Falls, #1)(78)

“You can’t be serious right now.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Then why didn’t you do it? Why didn’t you give up your career to raise me?”

Dad scoffs. “She worked at an art gallery, Ellis. She didn’t make enough money to support us. She barely made more than she did when she was selling her own artwork.”

“And let me guess, you made her give that up, too?”

“Again, I didn’t make her do anything. We both agreed that painting was more of a hobby, and it was important for her to get a real job. So she started working at the gallery—until we had you.”

I stare at him, suddenly feeling like a stranger to my own family. Like a spectator with a bird’s-eye view of my own life, seeing it from a whole new perspective, discovering the truth behind my parents’ dynamic.

I think I’m going to be sick.

“Okay, so to be clear,” I say, “you made her give up everything that was important to her, everything that made her happy; then you decided you didn’t like who she became while she dedicated her entire self to raising me and supporting our family because you told her to; and then you started having an affair with a younger woman with a career?”

The silence in our sterile apartment smothers me as the things I said to my mom swirl around in my head. I was awful to her.

“Ellie Belly…” Dad steps toward me.

“No. I’ve looked up to you my whole life, Dad. When you were too busy working when I was little, I became interested in what you were interested in so you’d acknowledge me. I’ve been desperate for your attention for as long as I can remember. Striving to make you proud of me. Trying to be just like you.” I let my tears fall because I’m tired of trying to not be emotional for his sake. “I’m your daughter, and yet as soon as we were gone, you treated me like a client. Hell, if I were a client, I probably would have gotten a phone call that was longer than three minutes. And the worst part is that I became nothing but a nuisance to you because you were so wrapped up in your girlfriend. I mean, she’s the reason you told me not to come the night I wanted to visit, right?”

Dad looks at the floor but says nothing.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” I walk over to the counter and grab my wallet and phone.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere that isn’t here.”

“Stay. I’ll cancel my plans with Catherine,” he says.

“No, don’t bother.”

Dad follows me as I head to the door. “Your mom told me she’s buying a house in Connecticut. I know you’re mad at me right now, Ell, but please don’t let that place derail you from the goals you’ve worked so hard toward.”

I stop at the door. With my back to him, I close my eyes, trying not to scream. “You blew up our family, and the only thing you’re worried about is whether I’m still going to get into Columbia?” I turn to face him, and for the first time, he doesn’t look like the confident, invincible man I’ve always known. He looks… pathetic. I feel like, for the first time, I’m finally seeing my dad for who he really is.

He takes a step toward me. “Ellis—”

“No, Dad. I’m not interested in your advice, not if it gets me to where you are now.” I shake my head as I turn the doorknob. “I hope you miss Mom and me now that you’ve lost us. But, then again, I’m not sure you can miss someone you never really knew.”

I walk out and slam the door closed, leaving behind the person I spent my life loving most in the whole world.





Chapter Thirty-Five




I wait outside Fern’s apartment for forty-five minutes. When she finally pops out of the elevator, she’s apologizing a mile a minute for taking so long to grab us food. As soon as I see the containers from the Nervous Donkey in her hands, I start crying.

“Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” she asks, kneeling next to me.

“I’m so hungry,” I say. “You brought me takeout.”

She smiles softly. “I remembered you said you wanted to try this place. Judging by your panicked texts, I figured there was no time like the present.”

“Thank you,” I say through sniffles, climbing off the floor while Fern unlocks the door.

Inside, we collapse onto her black velvet couch, and she sets the food on the coffee table. A strangled sob escapes me as she lights a fall-scented candle and I’m reminded of Bramble Falls and everything I blew up there when I ran home to New York.

“Oh no,” she says with wide eyes. She hurries to wrap me in a hug. “Whatever happened, it’ll be okay,” she murmurs into my hair. I nod, though I’m unconvinced, and she lets go and looks at me. “It will. I promise.” She grabs a box of tissues from her end table and hands it to me. “We’ll eat this delicious food and bake cookies. Then we can—”

Cookies. I bury my face in my hands as I turn into a blubbering mess thinking of Cooper.

“Ellis,” Fern says, rubbing my back. “You’re scaring me. Tell me what’s going on.”

I blow my nose and take a few deep breaths while my best friend waits patiently, her eyes filled with concern.

I choke out an overview of the disaster that happened between Cooper, Jake, and me. I cry as I tell her about my fight with Cooper, about him ending things. I tell her about Mom buying a house and all the horrible things I said to her. Then I tell her about Dad—about him banishing me and how I’ve become nonexistent to him these last two months, about his affair, about him asking Mom to give up a huge part of herself.