Goodbye Earl(37)

Kasey walked across the yard closer to the tent when the song ended; she clapped and whooped and Rosemarie found her in the crowd. Kasey blew her a kiss through the air. Pretty buzzed from the champagne, she walked up to the stage and told Rosemarie how lovely she sounded.

“You too, Leo Bell,” Kasey said to him.

“Thank you, Miss Fritz,” Leo said in the old-timey style that had always endeared him to Kasey. Leo Bell was a good one, through and through. There wasn’t one thing she didn’t like about him. His sisters opened Bell Books a few years ago and ran it together. Yesterday, Kasey stopped in to browse, and Leo lit up when he saw her face. This was who he was—a complete and total weirdo in the fact that he seemed like one of the last few decent men on earth.

Leo strummed his guitar again, playing the opening chords to “Cowboy Take Me Away” by The Chicks, and Kasey’s heart beat faster. Her face got hot as a lot of couples who were sitting and eating and chatting stood to gather on the dance floor.

“Dance with me, Fritz? Please? Don’t make me stand here by my lonesome,” Silas’s voice said from behind her. She was warmer than she wanted to be. She took Silas’s hand and led him out of the tent so they could get some more air. She put her arms around his neck as they swayed in the cool grass.

“Look at us dancing to our song,” she said. The first song they kissed to. The song that played again on prom night. The song that would forever remind Kasey of Silas and everything they were together. Devon was her fiancé and she adored him; Silas was the cowboy from her past, the cowboy she dreamt of taking her away, only he hadn’t. He couldn’t. Here they were now, fifteen years later, holding each other. The smoke of memory and their unfinished business so thick Kasey had to focus on her breathing so she wouldn’t choke.

“Wasn’t going to let the chance pass me by. Just don’t tell your fiancé if he’s the jealous type.”

“He’s not,” Kasey said, thinking of Devon in New York, wondering what he was doing. “What about Miss Green Dress over there? Y’all were looking mighty cozy a few minutes ago.” Kasey tilted her head toward where Ada and Grayson were standing. Miss Green Dress had a little girl on her hip now, and all four of Ada’s boys were leading a short line of kids holding glow sticks and running quick through the tables until Grayson reminded them to slow it down.

Silas turned to look when he heard his brother’s voice.

“That’s my little girl she’s holding,” Silas said.

Kasey’s stomach sank like a capsized boat. She opened her mouth to say something, anything.

“I’m messing with you, Fritz! Wow, you look mad. I made you mad. You don’t like me teasing you too much, I remember,” Silas said, smiling down at her.

“She’s pretty. The little girl’s pretty too,” Kasey said after scrunching up her nose at him. Rosemarie’s voice lifted and met the stars. Kasey looked up at them and felt so small again. Invisible. Thinking about her mom. Are You There God? It’s Me, Angie. Thinking about her dad. Are You There God? It’s Me, Isaiah.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Kasey.

“I don’t know her very well. She works at the courthouse,” Silas said.

Kasey closed her eyes and put her head on his chest, only looking up at him again when the song was almost over.

“Thanks again for the other day at the farmhouse,” she said.

“Stop thanking me for that. I’ve missed you,” Silas said softly. “Devon’s living the dream right now.”

Kasey felt untethered hearing Devon’s name come out of Silas’s mouth for the first time, and her face was so close to his.

“I’m so sorry everything happened like it did back then. I didn’t mean—” she said. Silas pulled her closer. “No, I’m serious. You would’ve never done that to me and I know that.” Kasey shook her head. His hand stayed at the small of her back.

“Ah, I’m just glad to be here now.”

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him really bad. She wanted to stop time and return to those nights when it was just the two of them, away from the world. Those nights up late in his truck, those nights he’d sneak out and wait at the end of the driveway for her to climb out of her bathroom window. Those spring nights that stretched on forever and ever and ever until life ran through her like an EF5 tornado.

Kasey and Silas let their noses touch, and Silas moved his up and down, snuggling closer.

“Can we talk more now, though? I mean, when you go home, you won’t disappear completely again? We can be friends?” Silas asked.

“Of course, Silas. We’ll always be friends. You know I love you, right?”

“You know I love you.”

When “Cowboy Take Me Away” ended, Rosemarie started singing “Strawberry Wine” by Deana Carter, and Kasey and Silas kept holding on. Kasey loved that song too much. They’d danced to it at prom, and it was one of RACK’s permanent BFF songs. The lyrics were too much, the champagne was too much, everything was too much. Kasey couldn’t help but cry. Silas held her tighter and asked if she was okay.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you,” she said, the two of them tied together with a mile-long ribbon of words they wouldn’t say.



When Rosemarie was finished singing, Silas put his hand on the back of Kasey’s head and, softly in her ear, thanked her for the dance.