Goodbye Earl(41)

He’d never known tenderness.

He’d never had it shown to him growing up.

How could a man learn to give away something he never had?

“I’m gonna go dance with Kase since she’s leaving Monday,” Caro said, standing.

“Okay. Then we’ll head out,” Trey said, leaning back and drinking his water. Trey was bone-dry tonight and Caro’s legs got light and wobbly as she walked, thinking about what was surely going to happen again when they got home.





2004


12





Caroline and Beau were sitting outside the diner sharing a cigarette. She’d already told him about prom and what a dud Will Brody turned out to be.

“Something’s wrong with that whole family, Muffin Mix. That boy ain’t right. I thought you knew that! I thought maybe that was why you wanted to go with him!” Beau said.

“Beau, why in the hell would I want to go to prom with a boy who ain’t right in the head? Why? Please tell me why!” Caro said, smacking his arm. “I hate you; I truly do.” She laughed with him and took the cigarette back. She French inhaled flawlessly and he bragged about it, told her that he taught her everything she knew.

“Speaking of teaching, you’re sure it’s pastry school in Adora Springs for you? You’re not tempted to run off and leave Goldie in the dust?” Beau asked.

“I don’t know how I’ll be able to afford it. My parents…well, you know they’re no help. My grandma has some money, but it’s not enough. And she’s done too much for me anyway,” Caroline said.

“What about a loan? I’m assuming pastry schools have financial aid and all that?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I keep playing wait and see, hoping I have a fairy godmother out there or someone who’s gonna float down and tell me exactly what to do and how to do it,” she said.

“If anyone was ever gonna have a fairy godmother, it’d be you. I’d bet on it.” Beau’s witchy hazel eyes sparkled in the sunset light. Caro pictured herself writing about his eyes in the margins of her baking journal. She was putting together a new recipe for Beau Bramford Pie. Something with supergooey dark chocolate and marshmallow cream. Cayenne pepper and chili flakes on top.

She was so hungry. For Beau, for dinner.

“I’m starving,” she said, getting up.

“If you want me to make you a grilled cheese, just ask. Don’t be all passive-aggressive about it.”

“Beau, will you pretty please make me a grilled cheese?” She held up her hand to high-five him. He slapped it.

“Yes, ma’am.”

*



That night, Kasey and her trying-not-to-cry face appeared at Caro’s bedroom window. Caro slid the glass up.

“I can stay tonight?” Kasey asked.

“Of course, but girl, come around to the front door. You don’t have to sneak,” Caro said. She walked out of her bedroom, past her grandma on the couch knitting and watching the news with a pencil behind her ear. “Kasey’s spending the night.”

“All right, Ladybug,” Mimi said. “Do y’all have homework or is that done now since school’s almost over anyway?” she asked. RACK had a bad case of senioritis, but Caro had been studying for finals even when she half-assed it, and Kasey actually liked doing extra math homework, which never ceased to blow Caro’s mind.

“A little studying. We’ll do it—I promise. Right after I make this pie,” Caro said.

Mimi nodded and took the cloth measuring tape from around her neck, held it against the yarn, counted her stitches.

“Hi, Miss Mimi,” Kasey said when she walked in.

“Hi, Kasey Jo. That dumbass being a dumbass again?” Mimi asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kasey said softly.

“Well, I love your mama and I wish she knew she deserves better. Remember I got that shotgun back there if you ever need to use it,” Mimi said, looking at Kasey over her glasses.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kasey said again.



The girls got to work in the kitchen. Caro pulled the pie crust she’d made earlier out of the freezer and told Kasey to get a knife so she could chop pecans.

“Do you ever think about how Roses and Ada have these, like, perfect lives and you and I—” Kasey stopped and shook her head like she was attempting to process the enormity of it. “I mean, duh—Grandma Mimi is obviously amazing, but—”

“Yeah, I think about it,” Caro said. She thought about it a lot. She had no choice. An easy, unstoppable jealousy ran through her like a hot current when she saw Ada with her daddy. Mr. Plum was crazy about his kids, and not only was Rosemarie’s dad so cool with Caro, but he was also cool with all of them. He never seemed to tire of them hanging at their house after school or eating everything they could find in the fridge, and although Ada’s mom could be uptight, she was hella fun once she had her wine for the night. She let the girls get away with everything without a peep. And Angie. Kasey’s mom, Angie, was, like, one of the nicest women Caro had ever met, so no, it didn’t make a lick of sense that she’d tied herself to Roy, who was probably the meanest man on earth. Caro’s parents didn’t care about her, and she’d known that her whole life, but yes, she had her grandma, and Kasey didn’t have much, but she had Angie.