Goodbye Earl(38)

*



Before the sun came up the next day, Kasey called Devon and told him about Silas. Told him he was her first everything important and that being back in Goldie and seeing him was overwhelming, and not entirely in a bad way. In a way that left her feeling exhausted and confused, and she’d be even more confused if she weren’t flying back tomorrow, but she was. Thank God she was.

Devon wasn’t mad, but he kept asking Kasey why she hadn’t told him about Silas earlier. What was the big secret? He had exes too. As a matter of fact, he saw his ex in the park recently and she was walking four dogs. Devon laughed because he thought she was allergic.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I wanted to tell you now, while the feelings are fresh. I barely got any sleep last night,” Kasey said.

“Look. Just come home. Goldie’s got you in a fugue state, that’s all,” he said. “I love you.” His voice was confident and relaxed. So Devon. She’d done the right thing by coming clean, and he reassured her of it.

Goldie’s got me in a fugue state, she said to herself as she snatched open the hotel curtains. She closed her eyes and interrupted her bad memories of Goldie by instead remembering Silas’s nose touching hers last night and Rosemarie singing those songs as the rest of the stars came out, slow, slow, and quick. When she opened her eyes again, she stared out at the dark hills without blinking until everything went blurry. She wanted coffee.



While she drank her dark roast, she scrolled through some work emails, not feeling the least bit guilty for ignoring them since she was on vacation. She wrote in the group chat she had with her girlfriends from the city, saying hi and that she was stoked to see them soon for drinks next week. She was interrupted by an incoming surprise text from Silas.

Your earring’s in my pocket.



It’s not even six yet. What are you

doing up?



Early shift. Filling in for someone at

the station. An outlaw never sleeps.



Why is my earring in your pocket?



Ada said she found it on the

kitchen counter and I took it because

I told her I’d see you before

you left town. Was I right?



Were you?



I hope so, Fritz. I hope so.



Now why would I choose to hang

out with an unrepentant thief?



Because ladies love cowboys and

outlaws. Like Quick Draw McGraw.

Do you need me to keep rhyming?

Because I will.



Please don’t! :P



Okay, but only for you. See you soon?



Yes, please.



Kasey sat by the window and held her mug with both hands in the dark, anxious for the first hint of morning light.





2004


10





Kasey and Angie were at the kitchen table with the last college loan application in front of them. Angie clicked her pen with one hand and dug into the cookie dough with the other.

“Mama, come on,” Kasey said. She’d spent most of the afternoon tutoring and had been waiting all evening for her mom to get off work.

“I’m sorry! Okay. One last lick,” Angie said, putting her finger in her mouth. She hopped up to get a dish towel so she could wipe her hand clean.

Roy hadn’t been home for two days, so the farmhouse was like a whole new world. The music was on; the windows were open. The short kitchen curtains were blowing up and out, making the soft evening sunlight dance around the room. Yesterday, Kasey found out she’d gotten the market analyst research internship in New York City that she’d been stressing over for months. That, on top of getting into Greenlee—the Ivy League she wanted—had made both of Kasey’s wildest college dreams come true already. The third step was making sure everylittlebit was covered financially, since her mom hadn’t been able to save up much and Kasey was hoping to focus on school instead of having to worry about finding a job too.

The internship paid a little, not a lot, but being selected was priceless. She and her mom had gotten their favorite Thai takeout from the fancy place in Adora Springs and a dark green bottle of sparkling grape juice to celebrate. Angie brought home five different kinds of boxed cakes for them to decide on and three tubs of frosting to mix and match. Yellow cake with chocolate was usually their favorite, but last week when Roy was gone, they’d made a lemon-Sprite cake and slathered it with fluffs of vanilla cream. Angie nabbed the best cookie dough too, but so far, it hadn’t made it into the oven. Kasey gave in and scooped some of it off the package with her finger, echoing her mom’s one last lick after she ate it.

“Praise the Lord this is the last form we need to fill out. These things are hell,” Angie said, clicking the pen again and beginning to write.

“At least we’re on the good side of it.”

“Yes we are, Kaseybaby, and I’m so proud of you I can’t stand it. I could hardly sleep last night.”

“I know. You were keeping me up with your wiggling and turning the light on!” Kasey said. They’d slept together in her mom’s king-sized bed like they did so often when Roy was gone. Kasey didn’t care where Roy had run off to and didn’t ask.