Lies and Weddings(110)

Francis beamed in relief at the sight of them. “Ah, here they are! Luis Felipe, may I present my wife, Arabella, and my daughters, Augie and Bea.”

“Countess Arabella, the Princess Maximillian, and the Lady Beatrice,” Arabella icily corrected her husband, before giving Luis Felipe the once-over. What a ghastly common face. And look at the cut of his dinner jacket—must have been made by Italians.

I’m gonna fuck with this snotty bitch, Luis Felipe thought as he bowed ceremoniously at the ladies. “Cuntess Arabella, which part of China are you from?”

Arabella gave Luis Felipe a withering look. “I’m from Hong Kong.”

“Really? My dad was born in Hong Kong.”

“I thought he was Filipino.”

“Nope. Moved to the Philippines in his twenties, but he grew up in Wan Chai. Isn’t that where you’re from?” Like all the prostitutes.

“No, I grew up in Kowloon Tong. Was your mother from Wan Chai?” Arabella shot back.

“She was from Shenyang, but she met my dad in the Philippines. I was born in Forbes Park.” In a house much bigger than this old dump and with three times the servants.

“I don’t know the Philippines. I believe some of the maids we had growing up came from Cebu.”

Thomas, not wanting the exchange to degrade any further, quickly cut in. “Lady Arabella, Luis Felipe and I were just discussing the superb artwork over the mantel. The Judy Chicago.”

“Yeah, is that thing spinning? I swear to god it’s spinning,” Luis Felipe said.

Arabella rolled her eyes. It’s spinning because you’re drunk as a skunk. “That lithograph is not spinning.”

“Perhaps you could give Luis Felipe a tour of the art collection? He’s quite the collector,” Francis merrily suggested.

“Oh, he won’t be impressed by our collection,” Arabella said. Not enough big-dick art for you, I’m sure.

“Here, let me show you some of my favorite artworks…,” Rufus politely offered.

“Hold your horses, Sad Keanu, I’d rather your daddy show me his famous wine cellar,” said Luis Felipe.

“Yes, show him the wine cellar, Francis,” Arabella said. And drown him in one of the barrels while you’re at it.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Thomas turned to Arabella with an imploring look. “I realize he’s a handful, but for your own sake, will you please try to be gracious to him?”

“Oh, am I not being gracious enough? Should I do a little lap dance like one of those nice ladies in Wan Chai? Do a trick with Ping-Pong balls?” Arabella said mockingly.

“Arabella—”

“Don’t Arabella me—he was being an offensive little prick and he bloody knew it!”

Rufus stepped in. “For once I have to agree with Mum. If he wasn’t too pissed to feel it, I’d smack him in the face.”

Thomas sighed in resignation.

Francis and Luis Felipe returned from the wine cellar and everyone adjourned to the dining room, where footmen awaited behind each chair around the banquet table. With a subtle nod from Hemsworth, the footmen began to fill every guest’s wine goblet simultaneously. “Fill it to the brim,” Luis Felipe said to his footman as he glanced around the table. “Wait a minute, someone’s missing. Where’s your daughter?”

“Both my daughters are right here,” Francis said.

“No, I meant Tong’s girl. Where’s the disapproving Eden?”

Everyone at the table remained silent, so it fell on Thomas to respond, “Eden could not be here tonight.”

“She had better plans?”

“Working late, I believe,” Rufus said.

“I just saw her walking up the hill,” Gopal Das said, unaware of the fatwa against Eden at Greshamsbury Hall.

“So she’s home!” Luis Felipe said.

“I would think so,” Gopal Das continued, puzzled as to why Augie kept pinching his thigh.

“Don’t you guys live next door?” Luis Felipe asked.

“We do,” Thomas replied.

A mischievous look came over Luis Felipe’s face. “She’s avoiding me, isn’t she?”

“Not at all.”

“Then tell her to come join us now.”

Thomas looked beseechingly to Francis. “Oh yes, of course. Hemsworth, could you get someone to run over to the cottage and ask Eden to join us?” Francis said, deliberately avoiding his wife’s furious stare.

“Yes, my lord,” Hemsworth replied.

Fifteen minutes later, just as the asparagus bisque was being served out of the Puiforcat tureens, a rather mystified-looking Eden entered the dining room in the same flowing black floral dress she had worn to Augie’s wedding ceremony, her just-showered hair hastily slicked back and bold red lipstick quickly applied. Sensing the awkwardness in the room, she quickly greeted everyone as if nothing had ever happened.

Luis Felipe whistled as he looked Eden up and down. “Wowza! You clean up gooooood! Where was this girl in LA?”

Eden smiled wanly, taking a seat that had been hurriedly added at the far end of the table.

“Wait, come sit next to me. Cuntess Arabella, why don’t you switch with her?”

Arabella took a sharp breath, too incensed to speak.