Nobody in Particular(89)

“No,” I say. “I’m not straight.”

There.

It’s done.

My head swims so badly I almost miss the next question.

“What about Edmund?”

What the hell do I say to that? I should’ve taken more time to prepare. I know they can see how guilty I am. I know my face is bright red, and my eyes are glassy, and they’ve got it all on camera, as I say, “No comment.”

“Danni, there have been rumors that you’re in a romantic relationship with Princess Rosemary. Can you comment on that?”

I force my face to relax. I need to look like they’ve stopped asking serious questions and started on the really ridiculous shit. And for god’s sake, for once, I can’t cry.

“Rose is my friend,” I say, concentrating as hard as I can on being casual. “And that’s all. She’s now aware I’m not straight, and she’s handled the information with the respect that I’ve come to expect from her. I’m very lucky to have someone so supportive as a friend of mine.”

“How close are you with Harriet?”

Of course they know her name. They’ve been speaking to our classmates all morning. Still, the question takes me by surprise, and my lip curls. “I’m not,” I spit. “Thank you for your … questions.” Is that how you end an interview? It is now.

The crowd starts to move. The journalists have what they wanted. Now it’s a competition to see who can break the story first.

If I’m lucky, I’ll get the chance to tell Mom before they can.

Gripping onto the sides of her skirt, Rose stands alone to my left, breathing heavily. Farther away from us, Molly and Eleanor have found each other.

I make it to Rose. “How’d yours go?” I ask in a low voice, trying to look as platonic as possible.

“It hurt. More than I expected.”

“I know,” I agree.

It kind of feels like I’ve been fed to the lions in the Colosseum with my classmates as the spectators. Molly and Eleanor join us and block us from the view of the other students. “You know what,” Molly says. “It’s lunchtime.”

“Right,” Eleanor agrees hastily. “Let’s go eat. We’re done out here.”

Rose and I give each other dark glances. It’s not done by a long shot. But lunch does sound nice. Too bad I don’t have time to eat if I want any shot of being the one to share today’s breaking news with Mom. So, I let the others go off to lunch and head to my room to call her. When I check my call log, though, I realize I have two missed calls. One from Rachel, and one from Mom.

I couldn’t even have this, huh?

Mom answers on the second ring. “Danni, honey?”

“Hi.”

“Hi, sweetie.” She takes a deep breath and laughs a little. “I saw something on the news just now.”

“It’s true,” I say flatly before she spends too much longer trying to spit it out. “I’m sorry.”

When she replies, her voice is hard. “Don’t you ever apologize, Danni. I don’t want to ever hear you do that again. Not to me, not to anybody.”

I try to reply, but I’m starting to feel like I might cry any second, so I don’t say a word.

She continues. “I love you more than anybody in the entire world. You’re my girl and I am so, so proud of you. Every day you make me prouder. That’s all I have to say.”

I press my lips together, feeling overwhelmed tears threatening to spill. I draw a shaky breath, trying to think of what to say.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

I shake my head a few times, trying to find my voice. When I open my mouth, a sob bursts out instead of words. “Not really,” I manage.

“I’d like you to come home for the week. You need to be here with us. You need space.”

“I can’t, Mom. I have practice exams coming up. There’s too much going on.”

“Screw exams,” she says, catching me by surprise. “You won’t be taking anything. You’ve been through trauma. There’s an exemption for that. I’ll speak to the headmaster—”

“I don’t want you to speak to him about this—”

“We’ll lie, then. Say Dennis died and I need you home for the funeral arrangements.”

“Mom!”

“Okay, maybe not Dennis. That’s easily fact-checked. How about Auntie Kylie?”

“Mom,” I said, cracking a reluctant smile. “Thank you. But I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here. I have to.”

“Well, if you want to, that’s one thing. But don’t you think you have to. Your grades aren’t worth your well-being.”

“Okay, Mom. Thank you.”

“I love you, Danni. Please don’t forget you can call me whenever you need to. It doesn’t matter what the time is or what day it is. Call me.”

“I will.”

“Promise me?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. And, sweetie … you don’t need to tell me everything now. When you’re ready. But if you have a girl in your life, and you want me to know her, I would love to meet her.”

I want to cry, because there’s nothing I want more in the world than to introduce Rose to Mom. But Mom doesn’t mean Rose. She means Harriet. She thinks Harriet is my girlfriend.